[Solved] How much contact would a court impose?

To be honest I cant see a real problem with this, its all about the child building a relationship with both parents, what she did was wrong but she is really trying now and sometimes we have to forgive , what about extending the contact she already has to 2 hours and an agreed date to extend it to two visits . I think the court would extend it

..Do you still have a Social Worker assigned to your case? I would talk to them about it and ask their advice. Dont be bullied by her solicitor, if you feel that you need to take things slowly, you are the resident parent now. She's trying to run before she can walk in my opinion. I think ak has a point about setting a timetable. 6/7 weeks is not a long enough period to think of increasing it though, I would say 6 months is more realistic....

In my opinion the court would not agree to an increase so soon after she has re-established contact, but that is just my opinion. I would try and seek advice...its a pity no one though to write a time table of contact into the initial order. I'm sure at the time it would have been small increases on a 6/12 monthly basis. If you are a stay at home Dad you would be entitled to Legal Aid, it might be advisable to get some legal advice.

My son has Residency of his son, you think that when that happens the problems end, but they dont! Its a full time job trying to manoeuvre through the obstacles a disgruntled mother continually puts up. My sons ex has never taken responsibility for her actions that lead to her losing custody...in her mind its all our fault, it was an opportunist snatch, as her solicitor put it! Even now, she is under investigation for hitting and mistreating the child still in her care, thats our fault too!

Try and stay calm, rise above it and dont worry about things that havent happened yet, sure be prepared, but believe in yourself and remember the reasons you are where you are today.... your sons happiness and well being, thats what matters and thats why you will continue to fight to maintain it. 🙂

AK.
Thanks for your response,
And to answer your question "what did she do wrong" On numerous occaisions i had to attened her residence due to being unable to contact her by phone to find my son (on 2 occaision) at the age of about 10 months then again at 12 months outside the property on his own,nacked approx 300 yrds from her flat the first time second time in a different street,while she layed first time on the floor of her flat paraletic and uncoherient and second time had left the flat and my baby altoghether and wasnt seen again for 2/3 weeks!!!There was also the occaisions(3 i know of) while pregnant she had to be hospitalised due to intoxication,Another occaision,a friend called me at 10pm on a rainy cold saturday night to inform me she had seen her with my child(aged about 14months)drunk trying to buy more drink in a petrol station!! i honestly could go on but i wont.Also just a quick query?What makes you feel she is "trying so hard"??? Sorry to sound so rightous but she really has put a babies life in danger(my baby)numerous times so i feel little sympathy towards her..again thanks for your response.

Nannyjane
thanks once again for replying,No social services after months of checks/visits and more decided now i have been awarded residency they are 100% happy he's no longer at risk and closed the case.And my legal aid cert only covered the residency hearings so i no longer have the full aid of a solicitor and my solicitor has basically said her work is done,and i totaly understand that but i wonder how her solicitor still seems to be "on the pay roll" to enable them to keep sending letters and so on?

[censored] that’s awful. I understand now. I certainly would not give unsupervised access EVER . But I do realise the court would want to encourage her to try and put things right. Has she stopped drinking, what’s she like when she visits. I would be tempted to offer another half hour just to get them off your back and say clearly in a letter to her solicitor no more for at least 6 months like Nannyjane said

....If your circumstances havent changed since being awarded Legal Aid then you can re apply. If you were happy with the service your solicitor provided during the Residency hearings, then I see no reason why she shouldn't continue to represent you further. I would give her, or another one a call, and explain what is happening, that taking you back to court is being threatened, and you are being bullied by her solicitor, who you feel has an agenda of overturning the Residency Order, which has already been mentioned by the mother.

Legally speaking, the non-resident parent (ie your ex) always has the right to go back to court to get the order varied or overturned, but unless there are welfare concerns, then no court is ever going to move a child from a home where they are settled, even if your ex suddenly turned into the model mother, so don't worry at all about this - and the longer is with you, the more settled he is considered to be - so youex can't get him back in the short term because of her mental state & drinking, and she can't in the long term because he is settled with you.

I would look again at the supervised contact - I woud seriously consider having this at a contact centre rather than supervising it yourself (the non resident parent pays any fees) - if you are supervising, then it's leaving you open to any lies she may come with about what happens during contact, whereas supervised contact at a contact centre means that any issues (such as turning up under the influence) have an independant person to sort it out.

That is such a good point that actd makes, about going through a contact centre. My son is looking into it at the moment, here's a link to the service he is looking at ~ www.naccc.org.uk

I did think that the SS arranged this through their drop in centres, but when my son asked about it, they just told him to get legal advice!

Well just a very quick update.Me and my little man are doing better than i could ever had dreamed! Its now over 14 months since he's been with me and almost a year{on the 8th August) since i was granted residency.I must be honest 14 months sounds like a long time but im only just allowing myself to sit back and tottally believe my sons now WITHOUT DOUBT safe in my care FOREVER lol..Its been a long hard worrying time but obviously would have done it ten times over to ensure my baby boys safty and quality of life.Thanks so much for the advice from you all the comfort it provided alone was more help than i think you may realise.
You people that dedicate your time and efforts to help and advise us dads-in-need are GUARDIAN ANGELS!!
Thanks so so much x
Dad & Son.

Your post gives me a warm fuzzy feeling! I am so happy for you.

Can I be cheeky and ask how you dealt with the mothers request for more contact?

I hope you dont mind me asking but what was the circumstance and how did you do it? Also as Nanny Jane asks how do you deal with mothers request for more contact?

I am going through the courts requesting so9le residency at the moment and it seems all up hill and to be honest its getting me a little down at the present.

I could do with some inspiration. 🙂

Regards,

Dave

Well Nannyjane first off I contacted "parent line" I think it's called? And there was a calm collected voice(unlike my own at that point) at the other end who pointed out that as the contact currently agreed too wasn't Really being stuck to RELIGIOUSLY eg. She wasn't even turning up to all the visits that was routinely planned, then when/if she was to actually go to court to ask for more contact this fact would go a long way in the judges decision making regarding extending/increasing contact! So I bided my time knowing that the "nature of the beast" would raise its ugly head and she would prove, all by herself, extending/increasing contact would only lead to more confusion and upset for my innocent little boy!! This she continually done,cancelling visits at last minute etc etc and then STILL asks for contact to be increased ? I simply pointed out a few times to her the track record she has laid down don't fair well for a case in court to increase contact and left that thought with her! She continues to cancel but has stopped asking for increased contact,so far so good xxx

DaveR, I don't mind you asking mate,see my reply to Nannyjane regarding "requests for more contact" and the circumstances were as follows mate... I was never in a relationship with R's "biological mother" and right from early in the pregnancy she was drinking heavily to the extent she was taking into hospital 3/4 due to concerns for her "growing baby" once R was
born things seemed ok for about 6 months until I telephoned one evening like I did approx 4/5 times daily "to see of sue was ok and needed anything" bit this time I could hear she had been drinking!! It spiralled from there and long and short I found her unconsciously drunk 3 times while alone caring fort
Baby!!! The third occasion I could t take no more excuses or "sorry it will never happen again" so I took my son (he was 19 days before his 2nd birthday) called social services and that's when the fears doubles and the battle begun!! As I told them the 100% truth that I'd found her drunk previously their view was I was "also" possible an unfit parent for not informing them on the first instant?(this I sum what agree with!) however they was willing to "follow
Procedures" but informed me every step they would possible
Places
Poor
Little baby boy into care st the completion of their assessments!!! They assessed to the fullest of their abilities and recommended he stay permanently in my care
In their summery!! Then onto court and caff cass!! I obtained an interim residency order at the first hearing (mainly on the recommendations from SS) then was assessed by caff cass then a second and final hearing was finally heard approx 6 months after that first call I made to SS Md I was awarded full residency
Till R is 17 years of age.theres so many more details but that it in brief. An important point is despite all they knew about "biological mothers" mental state and risk she poses the judge still added "supervised contact" at my discretion?hence still having
to allow her NEGATIVE influence in R's life. But mate my son says to me "dad your
My hero" on a regular basis lol and he don't realise but
I suppose In a way I am!! And mate you are your
Child's/children's hero too and Heroes NEVER give up! I felt disheartened hourly while it was going on and hear I am now
Boy asleep in bed safe n sound. Keep up the hard work mate xxxx sorry regarding ger and spelling its
Knackering work lol.

Really sorry residency is until 18 as usual and the typos are terrible!! hope It makes half sense anyway.

Thanks for sharing the detail....it is a grind going through this process.

My ex has had 2 strokes and suffers the associated mental, emotional and behavioural issues that you would image 2 aquired brain injuries come with. She has laso tested positive for drugs, the tests I have had to pay for.

I just hope that the judge now sees that I am telling the truth about the other allegations that I have made now.

On the face of it she had made a fairly good recovery physicaly, she still has right side weakness and cannot use her right arm so at times it seems that the mental issues are being ignored.

I have had to pay for a specialist consultant to examine her as well which happens next month.

Just so much money, expense and stress.

Regards,

Dave