[Solved] How much contact should I expect, ask for?

Sounds reasonable to me and hopefully it will to the mother too. With regards to Christmas, why don't you ask to alternate Christmas days and Birthdays? Hopefully mediation works for you, but I would stick to your guns with what your asking.

Hi, hope this reply reaches you in time and good luck today!

It's always a good idea to ask for a little more than you would like then you can be seen to be compromising.

A bog standard court order would be something like;

alternate weekends from after school Friday until Sunday afternoon or school Monday morning

one midweek overnight

a share of school holidays and special occasions

Birthdays and Christmas - as Danny says you could consider alternating these

The most common arrangements I have seen is alternating Birthdays or time with both parents and alternating Christmas or time with both parents.

For example at Christmas, you could have the first week of the school holiday, handing over on Boxing Day and swap the next year. If one week each of the holiday isn't practical, some people do Xmas Eve until Xmas Day lunchtime and swap round the next year.

Remember any agreement made in mediation is not legally binding.

Good luck 🙂

Hi there 🙂 sorry about taking so long to get in touch again.
I was unhappy with how the mediation session went, I almost felt ganged up on my my daughters mother and the female mediator.
I felt like I sat there for most of the hour answeribg accusations against myself and complete hearsay.
Although things that I got in writing are that
* The mother admits that I am a good Father
* My daughter will be able to stay over night with me at my flat after the next mediation session after I have given her my work routine and she has 'inspected' my flat.

She says my daughter will not be allowed to stay at her grans with me, only at my flat. She says I will see her every other weekend with only taking her for tea after school one evening during the week. She doesn't allow me to speak to my daughter on the phone. Coming up with wild statements that I am stalking her!! Because I have text a few times to speak to my daughter with little or no response.

It's an absolute disgrace the way I and my daughter are treated. I cannot commit to every other weekend indefinitely, due to work! I also want to be able to stay at family members with my daughter, but the mother demands she must stay at my flat.

Sorry for going on with myself.

Hi There,
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Don't worry about talking through your concerns that is why we are here.
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Mediation isn't legally binding so anything you have agreed to in the last session can always be changed, you have managed to get some movement forward from where you were, so maybe in the next session go back to the points you have already agreed on and push for some more flexibility, mediation has to work for both parties or it doesn't work, I was like you and felt that I just had to agree due to a poor mediator and a controlling ex, give mediation a fair chance, but if you aren't getting a fair split and compromise then yoiu do have court as an option.
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GTTS

Thanks for the reply. Well I am going to go to mediation again at the end of next month. She is so inflexible, she says it's every other weekend or nothing attall. It's a dictatorship. If I am unhappy with the next mediation session I am going to court.

Hi there thank you for the update

As GTTS says, anything you agree is not legally binding and there are some really rubbish mediators out there. I hope the next session moves things along for you, if you are not happy with this, I would make it clear to the mediator and ex that you will make an application to court to ensure your daughter has a reasonable amount of time with you. The mother cannot really dictate where you spend contact time with your child unless there are safeguarding concerns which would have to be assessed by a court or CAFCASS if that was the case.

Good luck, keep posting and we will do what we can to support you.....