Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
hi i have a 9 year old daughter who lives with her mum during the week & i have her 3 weekends out of 4 this arrangement was decided by her mum 4 or 5 years ago to which i agreed to as i thought at the time if it went to solicitors i would probably end up seeing my child less, i pick her up friday after school & return her sunday evening my daughter has asked me several times that she would like to come & stay with me every weekend but her mum wont let her & says she is entitled to have a weekend with her does anyone know if this is right ? or would what my daughter wants be taken into account because i feel her mum is been a bit selfish not taking into account what our daughter wants do i have any legal rights to get my daughter every weekend?
many thanks
Hi there
I'm afraid you're ex is probably right, the courts would recognise her right to have quality weekend time with your daughter and at 9 years old, she may be listened to, but It wouldn't carry too much weight. Does your ex work? If so it's highly likely that a court would agree with her if it got that far.
Perhaps you might consider negotiating Sunday night instead, so that you are picking her up from school on Friday and returning her to school on Monday morning. You might also like to consider trying to negotiate a midweek overnight stay during the week of the weekend when she stays with her mum.
You could try using mediation to try and resolve the issues, an impartial third party might be able to help.
All the best
from the mother's point of view, it does seem reasonable that she should have some weekend time with your daughter. It mihgt be worth discussinf with your daughter why she doesn't want to spend time with her mother, and then see if there's a way that she can work to overcome any obstacles so that she is having a better time on that weekend.
thanks for your input much appreciated unfortunately i live 20 miles away from my daughter making hard for her to stay over on school nights & when i don't have my daughter for that 1 weekend we basically go 2 weeks without seeing each other which is very hard i would of just thought her views would of been taken into account a little bit more her mum does work but does finish at 3 pm everyday so she does get time to spend with our daughter & also she's had her this weekend but then lets her stay out at a cousins which i don't see how that's spending quality time with her
Unfortunately, I have to agree with Mojo & actd - a court would usually order alternate weekends so that a child gets quality time with both parents.
Have you considered driving over and taking her out for dinner one night each week and then asking for a bit more time in each school holiday as a compromise?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.