Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
I split from my wife in September 2016 and we are having mediation trying to sort out the finances and the custody. Both of which are proving pretty impossible at the moment.
I have 3 boys who I currently see every other weekend Friday 6pm - Sunday 6pm and they stay with me one night in the week. I want to up this to two nights in the week as that's what my boys and I want. My wife is not agreeing to this but I'm not going to back down.
If we cant agree and it does go to court does anyone know the minimal the judge will grant me? I have been told that its a minimal of Friday 3.30pm - Monday morning every other weekend and one night in the week.
Can anyone confirm this is correct?
If she doesn't back down I may as well go to court and see if I can get another day as I will be no worse off than I am now.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Ian
How old are your Children?
Do you live near your Ex?
Each case is different, but if you live close to your kids then IMO you should get every other weekend from Friday 3:30 to Monday (school morning drop off) plus one night in the week and you should also get half of school holidays. Getting 2 night during the week will be a challenge and this might depend on the courts hearing what your kids want (if they are 10+). Remember that child maintenance is linked to how much you have your kids, so you might need to bring this into the negotiations i.e. don't reduce maintenance if you get 2 nights mid week.
I hope you resolve things in mediation, as going to court takes time and can cost a lot of money if you use a solicitor/barrister.
Thank you for the response.
I am only 2 miles away from my wife since we separated.
I have 3 boys aged 11 and 9 year old twins.
I see them a fair bit in the week as I run 2 youth football teams and all the boys play for my teams.
What worries me is seeing them out of football season as I don't want to go 4 or 5 days without seeing them.
Thanks
Hi there
There is no set schedule of contact, but the general fall back position is quite often alternate weekends and a weekly midweek, shared holidays and alternating Christmas and birthdays.
As your boys are not so young, their wishes and feelings should carry some weight. Courts won't want to hear about any maintenance arrangements as contact and maintenance are not linked in any way.
As you see them for a good amount of time and live close, I think you could go for a 50/50 shared care arrangement...the worse that can happen is that the court fall back to the default position of alternate weekends, but you could beuccssful....a lot depends on the judge on the day.
Many dads here opt for self representing and there's plenty of info in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section. If you have any questions, you only have to ask.
I do hope you can reach agreement at mediation, court should always be a last resort....the mother should know that in only a few years time the boys will be able to choose who they live with and if she stops them from spending the amount of time they want with you now, it could well back fire on her down the line.
All the best
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.