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Hi all, im new to site, so please bare with me as many of you will have asked and answered same questions. I have brought my stepson up since he was a baby, he is now 7, we have been totally inseparable in all that time. His mother is a wonderful mother. 8 months ago I found out she was having an affair, I forgave her. From July our relationship drifted apart,rarely speaking to each other. 4 weeks ago today on the way home from work she rang me to tell me she had left with stepson and dog, I have never seen him since and don't know were they are living. I miss him incredibly, carnt sleep, carnt eat properly, its [censored]. My wife and I txted each other for first couple of weeks, one day she promised I could see my stepson the next im never seeing him again, we are no longer in contact with each other and I still have not seen him, it was his birthday last week first one I missed, I had to leave presents on his grandmothers doorstep. I have arranged meeting with Mediation Service for 2 weeks time. Questions,1/ if my wife refuses me contact with my stepson, refuses to go to mediation, how long is the process going to take before I see him, ive read most of the court process, will I have contact with him again 2/ I don't have parental responsibility will that make a difference with not having it, can I still to court for it now my wife and me are separated, 3/ the hardest one, how do you cope, its [censored], I want to get out there searching for him, but know I carnt and shouldn't, as it will make things worse. Sorry if a bit depressing I can usually come out with an amusing quip, but not today. Any advice or pointers would be much appreciated, from what ive managed to read your a excellent group.
Colinc
Hi Colin. I'm sorry, im not really sure the ins and outs as regards stepsons but without pr im not sure how easy it would be to take her to court so mediation is probably your best bet I would think.
More on the coping, you just have to i'm afraid. Ill not go into all my stuff but I got a bolt out of the blue, similar to you really I guess but all communication was cut.
I was and still am devastated and in the court process and maybe have a glimmer of hope that relations might be softening now between me and my ex partner and concentrating on whats best for our child. Like you, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. This lasted for about 2 months, I cried continuously during my waking hours and tbh, its not all the time now but I still do.
However, I am much further forward that I was as the beginning, began eating and my sleep is better. My advice would be to take 1 day at a time, offer mediation and if it it ignored completely, got to a solicitor and see how you stand with pr in relation to a stepson.
My family are great and at the beginning I walked for miles to try and clear my head, it never worked tbh but was fractionally better that sitting at home. My friends often took me for drives in the countryside as well which gave me a bit of relief I found. About a month in, I done the wrong thing, cut myself off from everyone, sat at home all the time, refused offers to go out, do anything I used to enjoy and it made the [censored] worse so don't do that whatever you do.
Its really depending on your ex but I would hope if shes a reasonable person she will realise you were the boys dad by the sounds of things and eventually let you see him. That depends on her of course mate.
Here's a link about PR that might be worth reading.....
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