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How far/frequent do...
 
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[Solved] How far/frequent does you kid have to travel

 
(@simonses)
Trusted Member Registered

18 months ago the mother got a court order forcing our then 6 year old daughter to travel 400 miles every 3 weeks.

Quite obviously to anyone with the most basic amount of common sense which excludes judges and CAFASS along with the mother this is too much travelling.

I went back to court last March to alter the form of travel but it got thrown out, as mother has her beloved court order to use as a weapon which she will never move from.

I now have letters from my kids class teacher / head teacher / grandparents stating its causing her problems but the mother has still refused to move from her precious court order.

At New Year my father had to physically put her in the car to drive her to the meeting point as for a while now she has just had enough and is also suffering from travel sickness.

So i am putting my court papers in next week, to try my luck at in the gender biased court.

But i am wondering if anyones child has to travel more than 400 miles every 3 weeks or is this a record.

I am a male with custody ... i will add i offered to move from 200 miles away to 100 miles away in the summer the mother rejected this so its not about stifling contact, quite the opposite.

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Topic starter Posted : 15/01/2018 5:42 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

The letters from professionals will help, I would contact your local Childrens Services and speak to them about it too. As your daughter is showing obvious signs of distress and travel sickness a visit to the GP is also appropriate and a letter from them would also be useful.

There are children that have to do a fair amount of travelling, it's not unheard of, but if it's affecting the child badly then I believe the court have a duty to take this into account, the child's well being should be everyone's priority.

Best of luck

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Posted : 15/01/2018 6:16 pm
(@simonses)
Trusted Member Registered

Isnt chldrens services for kids that are in danger or abused ... would they not get a bit peeved contacting them about travel sickness and the stress a long journey is causing.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 15/01/2018 6:56 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

There is that, but you would only be asking for advice. In situations like this, where there's no obvious safeguarding, the more input from outside agencies the better, but this is only my opinion.

When you get to court you want to be able to show that there is a real issue that you have tried to resolve. It's difficult because of the distance between you and the mother, mediation isn't really an option, but have you thought of a solicitors letter to her to spell out that as the parent with care it's your responsibility to protect your child from harm. Explain that the travelling is having an increasingly negative impact on her, that has been noted by her school and that if she isn't prepared to discuss alternatives with you, you see no other choice but to suspend contact and make an application to court to vary the order.

Perhaps make some alternate suggestions, reducing contact to once a month but agreeing to more time during school holidays to make up for the loss.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15/01/2018 7:08 pm
(@simonses)
Trusted Member Registered

She speaks to my father he has told her its distressing the little one, she has informed him she i aware then asked what i suggest so i suggested a one of go on the train .. she didnt and wouldnt as she has a court order stating meet at the service station.

No matter what i suggest the answer is no ... like i say i offered to move south so she could see her whenever she liked, she rejected this. I spoke to a solicitor after and they told me theyd never heard of a parent having to go to court to move the child closer ... it really is this ridiculous.

Think the one about taking her to the doctor and getting their advice is best.

Though i dont want to be seen to influence the little one so maybe if i just take a back seat in the doctors after i stated the issue then he/she can hear it from the horses mouth.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 15/01/2018 8:19 pm
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

Similar to above really, if she won't agree compromise and your daughter refuses to go, I would consider telling the mother that your daughter is refusing to come and in light of this you will make an emergency application to court to get the matter resolved by varying the order to a situation that suits your daughter, not the other way around. Having evidence will help you.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16/01/2018 3:15 pm
(@simonses)
Trusted Member Registered

Should i ask for the doctor to give their opinion on this matter? Or just to confirm what little one is saying?

Presumably doctors give opinions for courts all the time, though at this stage its just a letter for the mother.

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Topic starter Posted : 16/01/2018 4:20 pm
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