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Just not knowing where to start.
I currently live in the same house as my ex. We live separately within it. |Were not married but the house is mortgaged in joint names. We have a teenager.
She has run up £50k of card debt and is now blacklisted so cant but me out and has huge financial agreement repayments. I dont earn enough to buy her out.
I pay half the bills, some of which can be easily reduced but she refuses to cut back. Im always skint. She earns much more than me.
Shes wants to stay in the house, with our child but due to her [censored] financial history she wont pay the mortgage hence Im blacklisted too. Or Im responsible to keep paying the mortgage. However If I pay the mortgage there I cant afford to live elsewhere.
Shes refusing to sell.
My credit rating is being affected due to being associated with her.
Were always arguing/ screaming and she contatntly demoralises me in front of our child. its not healthy
Shes now stating shes going to get the police involved to say Im being abusive to her so they will evict me. Can she do this. Its all lies.
We both have new partners and I just want to move on and start afresh but I cant do this as I cant trust her. She wants to move her new partner into my house with me paying. I cant afford legal help.
Im at the end of my tether.
I would suggest that you have a word with the citizen's advice bureau regarding your position - I'm not sure what the position is with her regarding refusing to sell. It might also be worth having a quiet word with the mortgage company about their stance on the mortgage. I would certainly ask them what would happen if (hypothetically) you refused to pay the mortgage - in theory, the mortgage company would repossess and sell to pay off the mortgage, and anything left after the mortgage is paid off, and their charges paid (which would be higher because they are doing the work) would then be split between you and your ex - it could be that it might be worth taking the higher charges (and probably a lower price on the house) might still be in your best interests. However, as I said, speak to the CAB first to get legal advice on this.
Hi there 🙂
...Some good advice from actd.
I would tell her that you are planning to move out and will not be prepared to continue paying the mortgage once you have gone, remind her that if she defaults on the mortgage the house will be repossessed and the building society will then take a huge chunk of any equity in administration costs. The other option is to agree to sell and avoid the hassle, and also benefit from having all of the equity that can then be split between you. I should mention here that as there is a child involved she would probably be entitled to a bigger cut of the profit and if you offer a 60/40 split upfront as an incentive it might encourage her to change her mind and agree to sell.
Perhaps you should mention the effect all the arguing and ill feeling must be having on your child. Surely it will be better for everyone to be able to move on from this unpleasantness and start afresh.
Tell her that you will be happy to make an agreement to pay maintenance and to find out what you should be paying for your child,you can google the CSA calculator where you can work out the amount you will be liable for. There is also a helpful sticky that is called "How does the CSA calculate payments" It provides a link to a CSA leaflet that explains CSA payments in more depth. You'll find it at the top of the Finance section.
You could also think about contacting Relate, they are well equipped to help families who are going through seperation and break up. Heres a link ~ www.relate.org.uk
Best of luck with it all 🙂
Hi whatamess (indeed),
Kudo's to you for putting up with the situation for so long.
Have you looked into an Order of Sale? You can or should be able to ask your local Court about this and equally CAB should hold at least some information.
Best of Luck.
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