Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi folks
Would appreciate some advice / hearing about the experience of other dads in a similar position to me.
I'm around a year into a difficult separation. We've got two daughters, one seven, one who is 20 months. They currently stay with me five nights in 14. This is an informal arrangement - we've not involved lawyers/courts - but has become pretty much routiine, and works okay. As for holidays, they have proved more difficult to arrange/agree on - and I sense it's getting harder not easier.
I took the girls away twice last summer holiday - for 4 and 6 nights - in the UK - and both trips went fine, though I think my ex wasn't happy with the six-day trip as felt it was too long. In fairness, the little one was only 14 months at the time, so I can understand why she might have been a bit anxious. I also took them away for 5 nights in autumn half term to see relatives - again that went well. However, ex is now making noises that taking the little one away for a week might be too much due to separation issues. I believe this is more about her anxiety than the little one.
I am keen to divide up both Easter and Summer hols to maximise possibilities for trips away. For me this means dividing the two week Easter break down the middle, and then doing alternative weeks during the six week summer holidays. I'd like to know if others feel that is reasonable given the age of my youngest. Ifso, what arguments can be used to counter an overly anxious mum. How have others with very young kids managed holiday time?
Many thanks
Bradski
Hi There,
.
I think what you are suggesting is fair and if the children are coping with it and it's just the mothers issues then there is no reason why it shouldn't happen, but becuase you only have a private agreement you may struggle if your ex won't agree.
.
Hopefully you would be able to make an agreement but if you can't then you would have to try mediation in the hope that a 3rd party could help you to make an agreement that works for you both and also the children. If that doesn't work then you have the option of the family courts who will make an order after hearing all of the facts. you have to be aware though that the courts will act in teh best interests of your children so if your ex lays things on heavily then the judge may sway and you may end up with less holiday time than you have at the moment.
.
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.