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In 2003 my son was born, I was almost immediately told I would never see him by his mother (this after I had given fullest support possible, supported her decisions, assisted wherever I could, done everything in my power to make her comfortable. We were in a long term relationship which she ended βbecause she did not love meβ never married although I had asked her not that this has any bearing on it).
I was understandably distraught and sought mediation which she refused to entertain, this meant we subsequently went to court wherein I was given parental responsibility and shared custody I have him every weekend Friday evening to Monday. She on more than a few occasions has stopped contact for no other reason than to flex her muscles. Now the real question, I have been asking for a while now if she will allow me to take him abroad on a weeks holiday during the summer (whilst I have him for 3 full weeks as laid out in the order above FOR CLARITY The agreement states that I have him for a period of HALF of his summer holidays ie. 3 weeks, we have normally split this 1 week with me 1 week with her)
She has time and time again point blank refused, he is now 10 there is no reason she should not allow him to go on holiday with me, what can I do? I know he has not yet got a passport, am I legally able to apply for this without her consent? I realise I need consent in some form to take him away, and as far as I am aware so does she, please correct me if I am wrong.
My question is how could I ensure that I receive consent even if she has no intention of allowing it, for this and any future holidays abroad. Could this be done with a specific issues order? I also would like to say that in the same order I would be willing to give my consent without hesitation for her to never need ask me again for permission. I AM afraid she will attempt to cease contact if I do however to allow my son the same chances to broaden his horizons and enjoy different cultures I am willing to try, and to combat this would also like to ensure enforcement of contact was established (assuming she does in fact remain true to character)
There is no history of abuse on either side, just silly vindictive decisions on her part for no other reason than to prove βsheβs the bossβ I have no intention of making life difficult for her I simply want to give my son the opportunities and benefits that every child deserves.
I would happily take this matter to court myself, I hate the idea of not seeing him when/if she does cease contact but I cannot stand by and allow her to hurt him in this way.
Hi
Yes, the SIO is the way to go if she is refusing, so ultimately you have to make the choice whether to risk that she will stop contact (in which case you would need the order enforced) or to leave the matter alone.
Another alternative is that for the next 5 years, you plan holidays within the UK (lots of very interesting places) and tell him that once he is 16, you will plan a big holiday abroad.
cheers actd
at the time of posting the argument was very raw subject, had time to cool off, I am going to wait, its only a matter of time before she will crumple under the pressure of his disapointment, I haave told my partner under no circumstances will I go away without him and she totally undertands that so were all going to wait, and that will just make it more special when we do go.
I am sick of battling my sons mothers power hunger, no rocking the boat from me.
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