[Solved] HOLIDAYS ABROAD

Hi,

I can see where the grey area is.

As said the mother hasn't siad no to the holiday and has given any objection so in that respect she has niether agreed or refused the permision for travel abroad so do agree that this is grey.
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Simon could take his daughter away on the back of this and keep his fingers crossed that the childs mother doesn't suddenly decide to cause issues nearer the time, or as sugested Simon could apply to court for residency (which I think he has a very strong case for) and then he has all bases covered as he then has the legal right to travel abroad with his daughter for up to 30 days without consent from the childs mother. As the holiday isn't planned until Christmas this is the route I would recomend taking as there is still time for mediation and court, even if only the first hearing was to take place before Christmas it could be decided thet the holiday could be taken within that hearing while residency case is still on going. That is my understanding anyway.

GTTS

Unfortunately the mother knows about the plans and its for this reason that Simon needs to consider his position very carefully. Taking a child abroad without the permission of all parties with PR is classed as child abduction and she could use this against him to further her case for custody.

The fact that mothers flout this permission rule without a second thought doesn't alter the fact that the rule exists....and in my opinion passport control are more likely to stop and question a father travelling with a child than they would a mother....unfair I know and I hope I'm wrong on this.

The grey area is whether she would contact the authorities to say she doesn't give permission and as GTTS points out, the fact that she hasn't said yes or no as yet. The rules unfortunately are black and white.

Thanks for the responses, i won't take her out the country until i've consent in one form or another, as i'm 100% sure this wretched failure of a mother will call the police and get me arrested at customs .... I work away and just before our break up she called to tell me she was leaving with our daughter and that she had a 1 way ticket for our child and that she would be leaving my daughter with her parents .... i called the police to stop her, she went insane about this so i have no doubt she will seek revenge.

Irony is she wants to take our child to Thailand next Summer, she said this in an email when i asked for child maintenance ... i would have let her go without issue until this situation came up. But i don't want to get in a position of only being able to take my child on holiday if she can do the same, as to me this will just end up with endless negotiations on everything for the years to come.

She seems to prefer the outcome where everyone loses, just to show the world that she is a strong woman in front of her friends, she sees this personality trait as a virtue.

I think that's the wisest option - and when you say "in one form or another", if she gives consent, I would only accept it in writing. While the it's only in guidelines that you get it in writing, the reason for this is that it will stand up in court (or hopefully, stop it ever getting to court) - it's a matter of doing it by the book and protecting yourself from any action she might take.

I presume she isn't paying maintenance at the moment - if not, I'd open a case with the CMS and let them sort it out. Even if you don't need the money, you can always put it into a savings account for your daughter for when she's older.

Well things came to a head, i called and as i didnt get anywhere stated i will cancel the flights, id sooner not go then have all this hassle. It was also made clear that because i booked the flights first without asking this is what is upsetting this perfect mother.

Then new boyfriend rings me back all aggressive calling me all the names under the sun which is no problem, but he also states and i quote "you don't know who you're messing with", which if he is someone not to be messed with then quite clearly i wouldn't want my daughter to go near him or his house, which is a complete U turn in my thinking.

It was also made clear that they are in the process of going for custody for my child and that i will be hearing from them shortly .... this badman also said "we will win", which considering he has only ever met my child once when i dropped her off is a rather strange thing to say .... surely any grown up would be more interested in whats best for the child and the child winning so to speak".

Will be getting some legal advice from a solicitor in the coming days if anyone can recommend some one decent in East Yorkshire let me know.

Well things came to a head, i called and as i didnt get anywhere stated i will cancel the flights, id sooner not go then have all this hassle. It was also made clear that because i booked the flights first without asking this is what is upsetting this perfect mother.

Simon, HANG ON - don't do anything rash...why waste money and see your daughter disappointed without a fight.

Right now you have got a lot of wise people on your side trying to help you the best way possible (we care...even if we don't always agree)...

I would contact and report to the police immediately (101) and notify them of the threatening behavior of the cm bf.

I would download and complete C100 form requesting the court to grant you residency of your daughter as you have been the primary carer for the past 3 years and lives with you permanently.

At the same time I would apply for for an emergency pso on the grounds that the cm bf intimidating and threatening behavior towards you could also permeate (safeguarding issues) on your daughter.

I realise some may not find my approach too palatable but in current circumstances - you can fight fire with fire (& win)

Let us know what help you need...

Hi,

I do agree with the above, from what you have said the childs mother will put up a fight, make a complaint to the police you can do this asking them to just hold on record if you prefer so they don't visit you ex's partner but instead just make a record of your complaint, thet will stand so that if any further threats are made then the first is still held on record and that can then be acted upon also, having it recorded will also help you if and when you proceed to court as there is a police record of the threats made and the way in which the childs mothers partner spoke about "winning".
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Don't cancel the flights yet but start the proccess to get the authority you need to travel, go through the courts and make an application yourself for residency and an order to allow travel in the mean time, I'm not 100% certian if these can be done in the same hearings though.
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You are in a very strong position from what I can see to gain residency of you're daughter as she has been living with you for the past 3 years.
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You also have to consider that although you have been told that an application to court has been made this may not be true so get yours in anyway applying for residency.
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GTTS

Hi Simon

You have to get your litigation head on now and start thinking about a pre emptive action....don't let them take control of the situation, you be the one to start proceedings, otherwise you will feel on the back foot. You have been intimidated and threatened and as you rightly point out you're now unsure of your daughters safety around this man.

You should definitely report this threat to the police, suspend contact and apply for an urgent no notice Prohibited Steps Order to prevent removal of your child and a Child Arrangements Order for residency.

As your daughter has been with you for three years, I have no doubt that you will be successful, I'm pretty sure you will get interim orders granted and then the court will order reports done.

As far as solicitors, choose one that is a family law specialist, being a member of Resolution, or being on the Childrens Panel are good indicators.

It really is important that you avoid telephone conversations and try and get communication by text or email, this is your paper trail and will help you build a case.

Good luck

I agree with GTTS, don't cancel your flights yet, when you fill out the C100 form you can request that the court also consider your request for permission to take your daughter on holiday. If the court grant you an interim Child Arrangements Order for residency it will be covered then anyway.

Don't cancel the flights yet but start the proccess to get the authority you need to travel, go through the courts and make an application yourself for residency and an order to allow travel in the mean time, I'm not 100% certian if these can be done in the same hearings though.
GTTS

GTTS, Simon can make C100 application for residency and (in the same application) raise SIO for travel to Thailand, then within CAO (at FH) specify terms for trips abroad...hopefully he will have residency so will no longer have to deal with these type of BS issues.

I would seriously contact the police and get the issue reported - you have the right (and your daughter) to live freely of intimidation or harassment.

Simon, you're in very good hands here 🙂

With regards the C100 at the top of the form it states -

The law has changed, and you are now legally required to consider mediation before applying to the family court to resolve a dispute about your children or finances. This means that before submitting your application, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to find out about mediation and see if mediators can help you sort out arrangements for the future.

In special circumstances – such as where domestic violence is involved – you may not need to attend a MIAM. However, you will be asked to provide the judge with evidence (such as a police report to prove domestic violence has taken place).

Thus presumably mediation must come first as there is no domestic violence involved.

Hi,

Mediation will need to come first, if your ex won't attend then they will give you a form to prove you have treid and the court will accept this.

I don't know if this is the same for applying for residency hopefully someone will clarify that for you.

GTTS