Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have today submitted forms to return to court to vary an existing court order and also for a specific issue regarding a holiday I have booked in August with my children.
I have tried to communicate with ex regarding booking our annual trip to spain, have even got a solicitor to write a letter and just got a reply that as per court order she will not discuss holidays until one month before and had the same in a letter from her solicitor. I told her I would need to book by end of January as I needed to book annual leave make arrangements with accommodation and book flights as the prices have gone very high already. I have not yet told I have booked this, but put it in the court application, should I tell her before she receives the court paperwork ? I guess I should but I know the response I will get and the stress it will cause. I hope the court do approve this holiday, I can't see why they wouldn't? She has had plenty of opportunity to tell me if she had booked anything in the summer and didn't so I went ahead and booked.
Also made a request to her in March to swap a day I have my son, as I booked tickets for a premier league football game which got moved back a day because of sky tv, so now falls on her day with him. She is now saying he can't go, which is very frustrating. Then I hear from you my son that he might be able to go but he said he was meant to be on holiday with his mum for the whole of thst weekend, something I knew nothing about! I'm not sure what the court would think of this or whether this kind of thing just might seem too petty to them?
We are just in the process of submitting a variation and a specific issue order for similar issues to yours. Our court order was only completed in December but very vague and holidays have already caused a major issue. Like you, we do not feel it's too petty as it is an important part of a child's life. They should be able to have the opportunity to go away with both parents separately. Why should we be financially disadvantaged because she decides at the last minute if we can have it not.
We are also asking for a specific order for something else, but I think you are doing the right thing.
Good luck
Hi There,
.
You are using the right channels to try and get this resolved, I would suggest that you ask for the order to be changed for future holiday plannig as well to ensure that you won't have the same issues going forward.
.
I would say it's your choice whether you tell your ex that you have already booked, if you do tell her, it gives her the chance to come up with stronger reasons as to why she can't accomodate, but to be fair she is probably going to try all angles anyway. If you have told her then everything is out in the open in court but maybe leave telling her until nearer the court date.
.
GTTS
If you have submitted a C100, did you attempt mediation first? This is mandatory to attempt before applying for variation.
If you applied on a C79 which is intended for enforcement, you don't need to apply for variation.
Pick your battles wisely with the court, they will see minor incidents as relatively petty and expect you to resolve these issues yourself - although I know that's often easier said than done and you wouldn't be in court if that were possible!
To a certain extent, when you ask to swap a day or have an extra day, she doesn't have to say yes. Possibly better to wait until she needs to ask the same of you and try to get some compromise going?
Ask for a new order to lay out which weeks of the summer holidays you both have, that way you can book your holidays in advance?
Good luck
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.