[Solved] Hi, new and in desperate need of advice. Please?!?

Hi there

Perhaps you should contact the mediator and ask how long she intends to wait for a response from the ex before issuing the FM1.

I would think the mediator will issue you the FM1 before the next hearing.

If the judge wants to impose court ordered mediation then you can explain to the judge that you would be happy to attend but don't have the funds to pay for this. You can also request that if agreement is reached you would like it to be written into a consent order.

Unfortunately you are at the beginning of what can prove to be an emotional rollercoaster... There can be bias towards the mother as others will testify to. The best thing you can do is to try and step outside of it, don't take it personally and separate your emotions from the process.

Heres a link that might help you understand the process

www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0008/5097/PD_12B_CAP.pdf

.

Sorry, I need to correct myself, court proceedings began in March. MIAM was April and next hearing is June.

What does the mediator say is the next step then? This is still all very new, so I will ask the CCLC to pop on with advice.

I understand what the mediator is saying but...

Your application was made before April 22nd which was when the changes came into effect. I think the FM1 becomes irrelevant because the mediator now fills out a section on the C100 application that states mediation has been attempted. Whereas before April 22nd the C100 was accompanied by the FM1 as a separate document...mediation being desired but not compulsory.

But yes actd some clarification would be great!

Thanks NJ, looks like you are up with the new stuff 🙂

I've asked CCLC to comment anyway - if nothing else, I can put it in the sticky on the new changes.

Thank you very much. The mediator says we need to file a c100 and apply to court for an order. But we did that at the very beginning of the process. The judge wasn't happy at the first directions hearing that mediation hadn't been tried before applying so noted that at the next directions hearing next month that it is recommended that they order mediation. So we thought in the meantime, to show willing and attempt to shorten the process, arrange our own MIAM with a mediator to see if it would be a viable option (it isn't). All it has seemed to have done is confuse people. And the mediator says regardless that the fm1 is outdated and won't stand for anything as of the 22nd of April. So refuses to help. Won't even re send a letter stating that hubby attended MIAM and it isn't suitable. And she says that she refuses to let the court or hubby know if his ex even responded to the request for a MIAM (we don't think she has). So it will be his word against hers. An absolute waste of £130. Hubby ringing court about what they need to see from mediator tomorrow, in way of official forms. Then ringing mediator back and asking for the forms. If she doesn't comply, another mediator has advised us to report her to the FMA. This other mediator has said he would have taken on the case himself but as the MIAM has already been done, it's all in this useless mediators hands. Can we go to a different mediator and start again? This is all so annoying. Brick wall after brick wall!

There's no reason to re apply as the case is now in process. You have the right to a receipt for the work this mediator has done, so you have this as proof that your husband attended, to show the court if you decide to wait for the next hearing.

I would definitely make a complaint about her conduct. As you have paid you have the right to a letter stating what you have paid for.

If she is refusing to acknowledge your hubby attended a MIAM or to confirm details with the court, then the MIAM doesn't exist as such....just my opinion.

Dear Mamajune,

Thank you for your query.

The law did change on 22nd April which has now meant the FM1 form has been incorporated in the C100 application and this is now what the MIAM assessor would sign if mediation has been deemed unsuitable or no agreement has been reached.

Exceptions to mediation include:

• The mediator determines that the case is not suitable as another party is unwilling to attend the MIAM
• The mediator determines the case unsuitable for a MAIM
• A mediator has made a determination within the previous four months that the case in not suitable for a MIAM
• Any party has, to the applicant’s knowledge, made an allegation of DV against another party and this has resulted in a police investigation or the issuing of any civil proceedings for the protection of any party within the past 12 months
• The parties are in agreement and there is no dispute to mediate
• There whereabouts if the other party are unknown to the applicant
• The prospective application is for and order in relevant family proceedings which are already in existence and are continuing
• The prospective application is to be made without notice to the other party

In regard to the difficulty you are having with the particular mediator, the court should accept letters on headed paper from the mediation service. If you continue to have difficulties with the mediator in question, you can proceed through the mediation service’s internal complaints procedure in order to resolve the matter. We would advise you to raise the financial difficulties with mediation with the Court as they can direct from there. In having another MIAM with another mediator, it would mean paying this cost again. If proceedings are ongoing, there would be no need to file another C100 form with the court as they are already addressing the issue of contact. You may also want to consider contacting National Family Mediation on 0300 4000 636 in order to discuss the matter further and in greater detail.

It is important to note that since the change in the law through the Children and Families Act 2014, the issues of contact and residence are now dealt with together under a Child Arrangements Order.

Something that you may want to look at when applying to the Courts is the Welfare Checklist. This is a guide that all Judge’s must follow when deciding whether to grant a Contact Order.

a) The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question.

It is important to note that contact is seen as the right of the child and not if the parent.

We hope that this answers your enquiry, however should you require any further legal advice please do not hesitate to contact us via our free phone helpline 0808 8020 008 open Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm.

Yours sincerely

CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE

I would like to point out that the definition for dv can be very broad and can include verbal abuse so that would seem to exclude you from mediation. If u need a definition of dv please let me know and I will dig one out. If you google definition of dv in uk family law then you might bring it up.