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Hi guys. I'll try and keep this short and to the point.
My ex partner and I split up in 2014. We have a two and a half year old daughter together. She has two other children to a previous marriage (11 yo and a 13 yo).
In 2015 my ex made malicious allegations against me that I assaulted my ex and that I previously assaulted her 13 yo. The 13 yr old made no formal complaint to police or social services and that matter was not progressed. My ex made a formal complaint to police re: allegation of me assaulting her. A full investigation followed and CPS directed no prosecution.
Social services spoke to the 11 yo in 2015 and he reported no issues and stated we had a positive relationship. After the CPS decision re: my ex social services closed the case.
My ex then telephoned social services on September last year. Her reason for initiating contact was that she didn't like the way I had been speaking / communicating with her. My issue was she was looking to rent a house 15 feet away from my house - I obviously thought this was a very bad idea her being so close to me. My ex never wanted our relationship to end and is very bitter that I ended it and I believe she wants to reconcile the relationship.
Anyway when she phoned social services in September 2016 she made further allegations that I assaulted her 11 yo at various times over a three year period. Both ex and 11 yo once again refused to go into any great detail and declined to give any form of evidence to social services or police. Police have interviewed me re: allegation that I assaulted 11 yo. I completely denied the allegations and stated that they are untrue and malicious. The investigation has been submitted to CPS and I am awaiting a decision.
Yesterday I received a telephone call from social services inviting me in for an "office visit". I asked what the purpose of the meeting was. I was just old it was to discuss my two and a half year old daughter.
I atttended the meeting and the social worker apologised for not speaking to me sooner stating a) police told her not to until an investigation file had been submitted to CPS and b) she was on annual leave.
She discussed the basics of the allegations agagainst me and that a CPS decision was awaited. She then went on to say that due to there being two separate allegations that I assaulted children she felt that I could not have any unsupervised contact with our two and a half year old daughter. Now it's very important to highlight here that before yesterday I have always had unsupervised contact with our daughter. My ex partner has never made any allegations in relation to me caring for our daughter and she has actually highly praised me for being an excellen father to her. My ex wants me to have unsupervised contact with our daughter as do I.
The social worker accepted that my ex does want me to have unsupervised contact and has said I'm an excellent father. Social worker tried to spin it to me that they're protecting me also from further malicious allegations. I said I pick my daughter up and return her to my mother (our daughters paternal grandmother) and granny can check daughter. My points perplexed social worker and she said she would speak to her manager to see if this would be acceptable coupled with the fact both ex and I have no concerns / issues re: me having unsupervised contact with our daughter.
She came back a short time later and said manager said contact has to be supervised as this is a " proportionate response".
I then asked her are they asking me to consent to this requirement voluntarily or are they requiring me to have only supervised contact by use of any legal power or authority. Social worker told me it is a request not a legal requirement and that she hopes that I will cooperate with them. I said to her well what if I don't? Both parents have no concerns re: me having unsupervised contact. What will your response be if both my ex and I decide to continue with unsupervised contact? Social worker said w'll both parents know better than anyone else how to safeguard and protect their child and if that is your decision. Yous know best but we would hope that you would both cooperate with us and do what we are asking.
I asked her would she go to court to seek a court order if ex and I both refused to cooperate with this request. She said no we would hope that you would cooperate with us until the case was passed to the Family Intervention Team and it would be reasssed at a case conference.
What I need help and advice with guys is a) what happens if I don't cooperate with this unreasonable request? B) can I challenge them legally? If so how? They have know about all the allegations since September 2016 and have not spoken to me until yesterday. They have known that I have had a significant amount of unsupervised contact with our daughter since November. I've had her every day on my own and overnight once a week. In that time they never addressed any safeguarding issues. Nothing has changed between September and yesterday so why have they not asked for supervised contact as soon as they were aware of the allegations in September. I have had my daughter regularly overnight unsupervised since she was 12 months old.
My ex has absolutely no family support apart from my mother. I have limited family support due to other family circumstances - my mother has other commitments, baby twin grand children with medical problems. I am still single and I have no friends / family who can facilitate being with me during my current contact schedule with our daughter.
I hope someone can help. Thank you
I think you would be best speaking to the Corams Childrens Legal Service - they give free legal advice, though you may have to be patient to get through
www.childrenslegalcentre.com
Thanks actd
Hi there
Surely your ex realised that making allegations against you would impact on your contact with your child, if there is any risk, the authorities are duty bound to investigate it and to put restrictions for contact in place, so I can understand why they have taken this position as far as supervised contact is concerned. In fact it's unusual for them not to be more insistent about doing as they request and not doing so would have repercussions.
It's impossible to say what might happen if you both disregard their "request", you seem to have asked the right questions and it appears from the answers that she gave, that they will not take t further if you both decide to ignore their request....it might be something that they will decide to act on legally once it is passed to the Family Intervention Team.
It might be helpful to contact the Family Rights Group, they have experience of working with families who are involved with Children's Services. Here's a link
www.frg.org.uk
All the best
Thanks Mojo. I completely agree with everything that you have said. I'm looking into support services. I think they are reluctant to go down the legal / court route because a) they've a week case and b) they're incompetent and unprofessional to put it politely. Both ex and I have evidence that they've lied to us, recorded and recorded what we've said to them inaccurately... I have researched a lot since discovering this terrible news. My research has told me they can go to court to seek a supervision order if the case conference doesn't go the way they want and I'm considered "uncooperative" and my ex also. My problem is Social services are bullies and a law onto themselves. The chairperson of this case conference is a social worker I'm led to believe. No independence whatsoever. If I'm invited to attend the case conference I'll be bringing my solicitor. Main reason - social workers and everyone present will [censored] themselves cos they'll think [censored] this could actually end up in court and anything I say or do I could be ripped apart by a barrister or a QC so I'll play nicely on this case (the attendees that is)
Thanks for the update, let us know how you get on. I would consider speaking with the Family Rights Group as Mojo has suggested as well.
Best of luck
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