DAD.info
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:

Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.

Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help

Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] Here we go again

 
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

Hi all

I'm off back to court for the 3rd time and I'm pretty much in the same position as the first time I went to court.

The last order was 4 years ago when I was supposed to have my child friday - monday every week which it was pretty much like that until the start of the pandemic when contact was stopped for 7 weeks.

on the 8th week I get a call from SS and they informed me the police were called to my childs house because the other parent couldnt be woken, the police found the house a disgrace with mouldy food everywhere, empty drink bottles, and the other parent drunk asleep in charge of both children.

I had my child for 3 days whilst top tidied the house, in them three day my child told me about how she was left on her own whilst mummy went out, that the children cook all their own meals as mum never gets out of bed and to top it off told me that they have been fed sleeping tablets all their lives.

I decided to keep my child and informed ss and the police what I was going to do but when I went round to collect my child top said I wasnt taking them, now rightly or wrongly I went in the house and took my daughter, 2 hours later the police come round and took her home that was the last I seen of my girl for 4 weeks today.

I have been interviewed and top is doing me on a charge of forced entry to a premises it gone off to the cps.

I have a legal adviser who is doing a case review and Im looking at going back to court next week to enforce the order, Im looking for advice really has anyone else gone to court during this pandemic and ho are you getting on?

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 25/06/2020 2:45 am
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

hi,

that's crazy that police came and took the child back. usually they only remove the child from a parent if they believe the child is in danger/risk of harm.

i went to court earlier this year, to vary my order as ex messing around. while hearings going on, lockdown happened so ex kept kids away from me. last hearing was by phone. they said normal contact to resume once lockdown is lifted, and kids are allowed back to school. whichever comes first. they told ex to give me more video calls in the meantime.

kids mum began interim contact last week, after 3 months of no contact.so now schools allowing my kids to go back, so contact being resumed from next week.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/06/2020 2:55 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

Slim, that sounds almost identical to my situation around 15 years ago - I called the police to go to my ex's house and they found it in much the same state as you described - I'd made it clear to my older daughter that under no circumstance was she to let the police leave (my daughter was about 12 or 13 at the time) - they managed to awaken my ex and persuaded her to allow them to take my girls to the police station to wait for me to drive up (about 3 hours), taking all they could carry (including 2 guinea pigs) - picked them up and took them home and they never went back - SS weren't aware of the case until that point, and they closed the case on the basis that they stayed with me.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/06/2020 3:52 pm
(@Ferfer)
Reputable Member Registered

Stories like yours really wind me up. How is us Dads struggle just to see our kids every other week if we are lucky, but your ex who clearly seems a massive risk to those children, gets to keep them no questions asked. I would refuse my kids to go back there if their mother acted like that. I am shocked.

I hope the CPS drop any charges, I don't feel that is fair on you either.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/06/2020 4:03 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

really the children should be living with slim, considering the awful state of mum and her property. should go in his favour.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/06/2020 4:16 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

I agree - that's what happened in my case. I'd taken photos of the state of the house on a previous occasion and the police report backed that up (and found things I hadn't seen), my ex gave up trying to regain custody quite quickly - though then had numerous hearings to establish if she was fit for contact and what level.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/06/2020 4:23 pm
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

aww thanks guys I feel a little better, this time has hit me hard I hit rock bottom 4 weeks ago and I wanted to kill myself, luckily a friend drove 200 miles and took me back to her house for a week she literally saved my life, I've only just felt ok enough to begin the fight again, I feel like I have made the break from top even though we were never in a relationship she has tortured me every day for 7 years since my girl was on her way. I simply cant get over the fact that my girl has been given sleeping tablets I cant get my head round it, the police were disgusting and made me out to be a controlling abusive nut case again, the ex has done the usual distraction from her issues in saying I'm the aggressor, this time is different as her other daughter phoned the police nothing to do with me, I'm praying the court will see this is the 3rd time she has been found in a sh*t tip with drink drugs or tablets everywhere, surely they will see I'm not making it all up, I feel so sorry for my girl it feels like I cant protect her and honestly I can see the day when I get the call that theyre all dead, I can sort of write my daughters obituary and the reasons that lead to her death before it happens, I really want this to be the last time at court, absolutely everyone is telling me to walk away but I can't its caused issues with my family because I'm fighting again for her again, I am on my own again more than ever with this its so frustrating, to make matters worse I've been laid off well sacked from my job, atleast I will have the time to fight now though. should it be a case of applying for an emergency order to get contact restarted? I want to go for residency and try for 4 nights and her 3 just so she doesnt get split from her sister and I'm thinking I may get shared residency whereas I would like full custody but I know thats difficult to get,

thanks so much for the replies guys I feel a little better about the situation, It really weird as Ive helped thousands of dads see their kids through court after my experiences and Im back again needing advice its so much easier helping others than going through it again yourself.

thanks again guys

slim

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 25/06/2020 10:49 pm
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest