[Solved] Help with 'what I want' from upcoming court date

You can ask for whatever you want, if the court can get you to agree, then great - it can be made in to an order. If they can't, they will have to list a final hearing and they will make the decisions for you both.

The barrister will draw up the order and either you both agree to the wording or the court will

For example - a 50/50 split of holidays and special occasions, could look something like this

Bank holidays and inset days to be added to weekends where they fall (so if there's a bank hol and your contact is Fri-Sun it would become Fri - Mon. If your contact is Fri - school on Mon morn, it would become Fri-Tues)

February half term - with father

Easter - one week with each parent, to rotate on an alternate annual basis depending on where the Easter weekend falls, the children should take it in turns to spend Easter with each parent

May/June half term - with mother

Summer Holidays, weeks 1 & 2 with father, weeks 3 & 4 with mother, week 5 with father, week 6 with mother. Handovers to take place each week on Friday afternoon.

Autumn half term - to be shared with mother and father. Handover to take place lunchtime Weds. The children to begin the half term with the parent who they would be with according to the alternate weekend schedule.

Christmas Holidays - 1 week with each parent. Handovers to take place on Boxing Day morning.

Birthdays - alternating or time with each parent. Time with the other parent for 4 hours if the birthday falls on a weekend and if it falls on a weekday, from after school until 6pm.

Time with each parent on their own birthdays.

Mothers Day with mother, Fathers Day with father.

Notice of travel plans to be provided by each parent no later than 8 weeks before a holiday.

Passports to be provided 2 weeks prior to travel.

That should give you something to go off.

Good luck

thanks, thats some good ideas there.

I (with my barrister) need to try and think of ways she will get round any plan. For example, in the current court order we have it says Mothers day with her (which is fine of course), but I proposed to swap the contact days on that weekend so they still got time with me and Mothers day with her, but that caused a lot of stress as she said "well the court order just says Mothers day with me, it doesnt say I have to swap the contact days" which is technically true, but would have meant I didnt have any contact with the children that weekend.

It's not usually listed in an order but you could ask for something to be put in along the lines of

both parents to be flexible to accommodate special occasions and replacement dates to be offered by the parent requesting to change or cancel contact taking place

just thought I would update this thread with the experience of going to court this week.

the cafcass officer basically recommended to the court the contact that I was suggesting, ie full weekends every other week + a midweek overnight stay and half the school holiday.
It was very difficult in court to keep quiet when she was lying to the magistrates about various things.

My barrister was good, but even he conceded that my ex was behaving in 'a despicable way'. After we left the court room, he spoke to her about the arrangements for this weekend as it was not clear which week were on of the new routine and she tried to then back out saying she had plans for the next few weeks so this new court order cannot start yet!
She has now sent numerous email to my solicitor saying the court order is not worded correctly (the court asked my barrister to write it up) and is complaining that it is not what she agreed in court. Arg!
My barrister and solicitor are saying we may have to ask the court to bring it back to court as she is refusing to co-operate fully. I doubt they will be very impressed by her if that happens.
Currently my barrister is making some amends to the order that he typed up, we will send that to her and if she still disputes it will have to take it from there.

I have confidence now though as the court didnt seem to take any notice of the allegations she made, infact they made an order that I could continue to collect the children from her house without a 3rd party as I had stated I would remain in my car, and they approved all my contact plan suggestions.

Thanks for the update, at least it's going in the right direction... I hope that she sees sense, as you say, it won't look good for her if she carries on in this way.

All the best

Her behaviour does sound despicable!

Hopefully she will agree with amendments, if she doesn't, instruct your solicitor to get it back before the court asap.

Good luck

Can the court bring this back to court straight away if you say she is refusing to start the new order she agreed I court? Ie without me having to do a new application.

She wrote to my solicitor with a plan of when she wanted the new routine to start and which weekends I would have the children in may, my solicitor wrote back and said we agree with the starting the new order on 1st may. I discussed with the children something we could do in a weekend in may that she suggested I should have, now she is saying nothing is agreed regarding which weekends I am having the children, my solicitor only confirmed it was starting in may!

Well the saga continues..

Ex has now complained to the court, that the court process was unfair, my barrister intimidated her and she felt bullied into agreeing things in court. I'm not sure how alleging my barrister, who has been working in this court for 20 years, is not acting appropriately will go down
She has confirmed though that she agreed to the new routine for contact during the week and alternate weekends, it is other details of the order regarding school holidays etc that she is disputing some details of.
We have asked the court if we can go back to clarify some items in the order.
However, ex is now saying that the new order is not valid yet so my contact planned for next weekend will not happen, despite it being her suggestion in a letter to my solicitor that we start the new order on 1st may. All this is just delaying tactics and a way she thinks she can legitimately get round starting the order which she agreed in court. Not sure what the court will make of it.
All the time it takes to get this back in court yet again, the kids and I seemingly have to put up with this uncertainty of when contact will happen and being unable to make plans etc.

well, hopefully the court will make it crystal clear to her next time exactly what she can and can't do.

All the more reason for you barrister to push for a more in depth order.

Seems ridiculous.

Good luck

So we have to go back to court again because of ex refusing to cooperate with the court order, so it has not been issued by the court.

She is now saying that she will only agree to alternate weekends if, which she agreed to in the previous court hearing, if it is written into the court order that I will take the children to any clubs that she arranges, any parties and drop the children to her for any of her family gatherings on my contact weekends. I already take the children to clubs on Saturday, she is now booking up more clubs on Sunday and expensive swimming lessons and saying it has be in the order that I am to take them and pay for it.
Surely the point of my contact time is they spend time with me and not spend every day being shipped to different clubs, parties and back to her every time she says there is something important happening in her family?