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Hi all, I am an avid DAD reader but this is my first post so please go easy.
Really looking for advice regarding my current court proceedings. I am getting frustrated and panicked.
Ex left three years ago and moved 200 miles away with our children. She right away got with another chap. I was not able to see or speak to the kids for 6 months, she gave various reasons. Then I found out that she was in a DV hostel due to this man. Found out they had been under s. services for months due to DV but she had neglected to inform them of my existence. I contacted the s. w. and was from then on kept updated.
After moving home 5 times in a year and the kids moving preschool,along with evidence of physical harm to both kids, they were placed on a CIN plan.
January this year my eldest child was attacked by the mothers partner (not first time but luckily child spoke out at school) He was arrested and bailed with conditions. Both adults deny any harm and blame the child for lying, then blamed a neighbour. All evidence proves the injury was non accidental.
Children then put in CPP for physical emotional and neglect. Main issue was mothers inability to protect the little ones over her partner.
The day after CPP review (kept on plan) the police dropped charges as couldn't put an 9 year old through that when he had no support at home (blamed for lying).
Mother then moves the man back in.
S worker initiated legal planning.
After over two years of handing scared screaming children back after contact I had enough and after advise and support I kept the children with my partner and I after our week contact in May.
I Arranged school places within two weeks, GP and dentist within first week and sought immediate help from school inclusion officer regarding the children after what they experienced.
Filed a C100 within the first week and also given urgent meeting with judge where I was awarded interim residence and prohibited steps due to threats from my ex.
The next/first hearing was brief. Mother denied any issues and says wants kids back with her. Court ordered CAFCASS report and the social worker to do a section 7.
CAFCASS report from mother mentions DV by me (no mention of this prior tothat point..)
Social services was transferred last month to my area and children removed entirely from plan and now on family inervention team via school. Luckily we still have contact with previous s. w. as the mother is with them- she has a baby with this man (his older three children were beaten by him)
Section 7 came, hugely in my favour. Outlines all issues, clear CRB for me and how clean and healthy and happy the children are. Highlights mothers priority of her relationship and refusal to take responsibility for any issues. It mentions if mother has the kids back they will be on CPP plan again and recommends no staying contact with mother and zero contact with the partner.
Back in court last week. Was hoping, as was social worker, that an order can be made so the kids can settle and the mother can stop telling them they are going back soon.
Well, Nope. Get into court. Mother wants kids back still and insists everyone is ganging up on her and the kids will be better with her and partner.
Now Judge wants us to submit a statement within 14 days of the court last week and told mother she hasn't lost until final decision but said he hoped she would come to accept the situation.
My questions.....
Is this par for the course?
What is the point of social workers filing a section 7 stating all the abuse, along with stating all the reports and intervention, if me and ex have to give our side anyway?.
Does this mean the judge could still read mothers statement and award her residency despite the section7?.
Even social worker is confused.Mother claims she still has a chance
aarrhhh please advise.
just sounds like part of the course of proceedings im afraid and judge will want to see statements from both sides so just make things very clear and get as much evidence as you can
someone with greater experience should be along soon
Hi there
I think the judge could be giving the mother a chance to agree willingly to relinquish residency... which she has already lost in the interim, but just a guess.
He could also be one of those judges that believes the child's place is with the mother, although with all of the evidence stacked against her, I can't honestly see him transferring residency back to her.
It could be that the judge wants to make sure that he gives her no reason to appeal, because he didn't follow procedure to the letter, it could be a dotting the i's and crossing the t's excercise...in my opinion, a lack of final decision isn't in the children's best interests, but whatever the reason, the children are safe.
You need to make your statement really strong, do you have legal representation?
Looking at all the facts, I can't see the judge giving them back, I think you have to hold your nerve and prepare as best you can. I wish I could be more positive for you.
All the best
I know it's frustrating, but stick at it!
Even if the judge agrees 100% with the CAFCASS report and has no intention of returning residency to the mother at this stage, he has to follow the process of allowing statements, holding a hearing etc to the letter. If he were to make a judgement at this stage without the mother having being able to give evidence, he risks the judgement being overturned on appeal, because he didn't follow the correct procedures, and that wouldn't be in the kids best interests.
I think the judges statement to the mother is telling .... that she hasn't lost until the final decision, BUT he hoped she would come to ACCEPT the situation.
When you say to someone that you hope they will come to accept a situation, it's really means a decision is to be made that they won't immediately like or understand.
I have to agree with the sentiment others expressed here. While continued proceedings are no doubt stressful for you, just appreciate the fact that you get to see your children every day and bond with them. This will pass, just focus on their needs and maybe try to find a way of dealing with the anxiety the situation must be bringing you, i.e., work on your support network.
It also sounds as if your children have been through a rough patch. If you shower them with love and understanding, they will feel safe being with you and will not want to go anywhere, and that trumps everything else.
All the best.
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