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hello,
I'm copying and pasting my thread from another site as I urgently need some advice.... to say I could be up the creek without a paddle is the least I can say;
Ill try and keep this as simple as I can, although it is a complicated affair.
My ex partner and I, moved in together, we both have children from a previous relationship, and a child together (just turned 1).
In February we split after having an argument over how she was talking/dealing with my son (he has possible asbeurgers and hypermobility as well as some long lingering emotional issues due to abuse at the hands of his mother - hence why he lives with me).
The argument got heated and I left the living room, I heard a loud bang against the door so went to re-enter the front room, I tried to open the door but was met with resistance so I pushed hard to open the door, unknowing my ex was behind the door and it hit her in the face.
Im not a violent person and this was a total accident and I have apologised as much as I can, anyway, I thought we were talking things through but alas she wanted out of the relationship.
This however has left us to who is going to have the house, we are joint tenants in a housing association property, if either of us leaves voluntarily then that means being intentionally homeless.
Everything was amicable and we had worked around what was happening and sharing the same living space although she moved to her daughters bedroom and was sleeping on a makeshift bed on the floor. Until two days ago....
She has now on Monday 3rd, reported the incident to the police who are apparently going to phone me to get my side of the story, which they have yet to do, this is in order for her to get help with taking me to court to get my son and I evicted from the family home.
My son is 10 and just about to go into year 6 at school and this, added with his emotional problems, and the fact that his SATS are next year, is going to have a rather negative impact on him.
I have the messages she sent me outlining her plan and why she has reported this to the police after so long and its all to get the funding to go to court, which I believe somewhere should be somewhat fraudulent?
Any advice please as im at my wits end about being on the streets, especially for my son who has had enough upheavel in his life as it is.
P.S her daughter is 8 and our daughter is 1 (so technically any upheavel would not have as much of a negative impact).
and now this:
so... on 26th July, I had a text from the ex while I was at work stating that I had a solicitor letter at home, upon opening this letter, it was dated 5th July, stating that I have several times been verbally abusive towards her and that she will not tolerate it any further and the police have been informed, also it stated that she has asked me to leave several times, to which I have refused (she hasn't and there was no mention of my son at all).
The letter went on to say I had 14 days to vacate the premises (I received 21 days after it was written) or they would take further instruction under the family law act.
I have my solicitors tomorrow and the CAB cannot help me due to a conflict of interest (she has already spoken to them).
On Friday she left the house to see her sister (all a bit sudden) and I have since found out that her ex has requested some extra time with his daughter, to which she replied to him that it would suit her as she has court tomorrow,
Now one can only assume that she has gone ex parte on it, with no evidence apart from hearsay and a crime reference number (the police didn't even contact me to question me).
So tomorrow I may be homeless with a ten year old with health/asbergers issues, what do I do, also I am concerned for my belongings because, if they allow this order, I will not be able to collect my belongings (cameras, tv, xbox etc etc.. ) and this I am concerned about as well as being homeless, not to mention all our clothes, etc.. etc.. etc...
I am at my wits end with this.
kind regards
my heads bamboozled and last thing I want or need is to be on the streets and losing everything over a bunch of lies...
kind regards,,
Hi there
Unfortunately, if she has gone for an ex parte injunction, there's not a great deal you can do about it initially, if she is successful you will be given an opportunity to respond and a date for this will be sent to you. When that happens, you can present your side of things, along with any evidence, the message you have outlining her plan to get you out for example.
I would contact the housing association too, to discuss next steps with them, as you both have dependants, there should be some help for you and your son, one would hope. It might be useful to contact Shelter, they are experts on housing issues and may be able to offer further advice.
I'm sorry I can't be any more help, this must be a gut wrenching time for you.
Best of luck
thankyou for the quick response, I'm gonna get my expensive stuff out beforehand then, just in case, my photography stuff especially as I cannot replace that.
I will be contacting shelter again and the housing tomorrow, although they have had my application for the housing list, with the solicitors letter.... so... hoping. we shall see.
I think that's a good idea, I would also talk to your son gently, about what might happen, with lots of reassurance as well. It might help to speak to the school, and your GP may be able to help with hurrying up housing, as your son has possible Aspergers.
Please do let us know how you get on. Good luck
yes I already have the gp writing up a letter to that effect, so if the worst does happen and I get all this evidence and they find all the lies out, (like the whole text conversations of being all nicey nice to me etc), what would happen in the courts? I mean can she get in trouble for deliberately misleading the courts?
Unfortunately that's unlikely, the civil courts are a different kettle of fish from the normal law courts and particularly in private family law cases, the mothers seem to get away with false accusations with impunity.
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