[Solved] Help - Please

I've been in a similar situation to you, currently going through the courts.

You need to get something formalised regarding the kids asap otherwise she will keep using this to control you.

No, you can't use a new partner as a reason to stop contact, however, many people try. You do need to introduce the new partner in a sensitive fashion to the kids though, ideally with the mother's agreement (although we couldn't get that in my case).

I'd try to get your ex to mediation to try to work things out amicably. Otherwise you'll need to issue proceedings to get it decided by the court.

Hi

Unfortunately, without a court order in place, the mother can do whatever she likes with allowing contact.

New partners can often cause issues. Sometimes it calms down naturally, sometimes it doesn't.

Trying mediation to agree a way forward is very good advice and if you can't manage to agree or she won't attend, a mediator can stamp the form that you will need for court.

Perhaps if you approach it so that the kids spend some daytime visits with the two of you and you build it up slowly? Kids usually adapt pretty well to new situations if handled in the right way for them.

Thanks for the responses. It seems unfair she can just do whatever she likes access wise!

Im moving in with my new partner this weekend and my ex is saying that my new partner will have to leave the house when my children are over.

We have been together 7 months the kids have not met her yet I dont think its unreasonable to suggest its been a fair mount of time. I also dont see how I can kick someone out of their own house!

Unless you can agree with your ex, the only other way forward is to get some assistance.

You could try mediation to see if that works?

Hello,

I am currently looking into legal assistance and mediation. My concern is that even then she may not stick to an agreement that is made!

What is the stance on playing for legal fee's? is a 50/50 split reasonable in this situation?

With mediation both of you pay separately to attend. If she won't attend or attends but won't agree, the mediator can sign a form that allows you to make a court application.

If you make a court application, you pay the £215 fee and then if you want legal representation, you each pay for your own.

I think if it went as far as court, you would probably be fine self repping as it sounds quite straight forward.

If you can attend mediation and agree, any arrangements you make are not legally binding.

Best of luck

Oh, I thought anything agreed in mediation was legally binding :/

Hello Markshill1,

No, if an agreement is made between parents at mediation it is not legally binding.

Pursuing access through the courts and obtaining a Court Order is legally binding. However, it is mandatory to attempt mediation before applying to the court.

Unfortunately I have compromised, compromised on compromises and im still being told im "not good enough" frankly im fedup.

I dont know how much more I can take. I just want to be happy and see my kids and im being stopped and bullied around.

I cant take anymore

We are all going through it. It's unfair and there is nothing we can do about it except get a court order in place and hope that if your ex breaches any agreement made in court that they will deal with the situation fairly.

Try to stay strong. There will come a time when the hard stuff is over with and your ex will realise there's nothing she can do to stop contact once that court order is in place. Until then she can do anything she likes. Your children need you, they will need you in the future. Grin and bear things until you're in a better place. Hopefully it will all make sense in the future.

After refusing any agreements she has told me she will be late dropping the kids off because she has to do some shopping eating into more of my time with them.

I cant take anymore i really cant im being pushed around so much