[Solved] Help on what to do to see my son

Hey mate, try not to worry this can and will be sorted out, What a nightmare situation to be in my ex was acting like that before I started court proceedings but I'd much rather live like this knowing I will get decent contact once it's all sorted out, It was [censored] living by her rules and dictating when I could see my Girls.

It sounds to me like you have no other option but to go to court and I wouldn't worry too much about claims of DV ect as it was years ago you were seeing her the courts will want to see if you are a risk to your child more than anything.

First and foremost you have to try mediation before you can make an application to the courts for contact and don't worry it wont be years before you see your child, you will have to decide if your going self represented or use a solicitor If you've got the [censored] and confidence I'd self rep and save yourself a bomb, you will get plenty of advice on here for sure.

Slim 🙂

Hi there

I can understand why you might think it would take years to reach a conclusion but that's not the case. As far as claiming DV is concerned, is there any actual proof? The fact that she allowed 50/50 contact at first really illustrates that she had no worries about your child's safety.

All children have the right to have both parents involved in their lives, unless there are risks to the child and this is the courts presumption too. The fact that you have had continued contact with your son for over three years is in your favour.

Have a read of the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, there's plenty of info there about the court process and how to represent yourself....we have many members that go it alone and are successful, you will get plenty of advice and support should you decide to go down this route. There is a court fee of £215 to apply but, depending on your financial situation, you may be entitled to an exemption from the fees. To apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact you would need form C100 and for the exemption it's form EX160a

With the amendments to the family law act earlier this year, it is now more or less compulsory to attend mediation before a court application can be made. It would be advisable for you to attend at a mediation service close to where your child lives. Here's a link to the National Family Mediation website.

www.nfm.org.uk

Once you have attended, if it is unsuccessful, the mediator will sign off the application form to enable you to apply to the courts. Again it's advisable to submit your forms to a family court near to where they live.

Here's a link to explain the court procedure, as you can see they try to keep the duration of the case within a 6 month period.

https://www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/family-justice-reform/pd-12b-cap.pdf

Hey mate, try not to worry this can and will be sorted out, What a nightmare situation to be in my ex was acting like that before I started court proceedings but I'd much rather live like this knowing I will get decent contact once it's all sorted out, It was [censored] living by her rules and dictating when I could see my Girls.

It sounds to me like you have no other option but to go to court and I wouldn't worry too much about claims of DV ect as it was years ago you were seeing her the courts will want to see if you are a risk to your child more than anything.

First and foremost you have to try mediation before you can make an application to the courts for contact and don't worry it wont be years before you see your child, you will have to decide if your going self represented or use a solicitor If you've got the [censored] and confidence I'd self rep and save yourself a bomb, you will get plenty of advice on here for sure.

Slim 🙂

Thanks Slim, its reassuring to hear that other people have been successful. I am just so scared about the whole situation, I am constantly walking on eggshells with the pair of them for fear that they will stop me seeing him even just once a month.

Hi there

I can understand why you might think it would take years to reach a conclusion but that's not the case. As far as claiming DV is concerned, is there any actual proof? The fact that she allowed 50/50 contact at first really illustrates that she had no worries about your child's safety.

All children have the right to have both parents involved in their lives, unless there are risks to the child and this is the courts presumption too. The fact that you have had continued contact with your son for over three years is in your favour.

Have a read of the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, there's plenty of info there about the court process and how to represent yourself....we have many members that go it alone and are successful, you will get plenty of advice and support should you decide to go down this route. There is a court fee of £215 to apply but, depending on your financial situation, you may be entitled to an exemption from the fees. To apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact you would need form C100 and for the exemption it's form EX160a

With the amendments to the family law act earlier this year, it is now more or less compulsory to attend mediation before a court application can be made. It would be advisable for you to attend at a mediation service close to where your child lives. Here's a link to the National Family Mediation website.

www.nfm.org.uk

Once you have attended, if it is unsuccessful, the mediator will sign off the application form to enable you to apply to the courts. Again it's advisable to submit your forms to a family court near to where they live.

Hi Mojo, no there is no proof of any of her claims. She would just do it out of spite to try and drag the process out. Unfortunately though nothing is simple. She spoke before I left for Afghan the last time that her and her husband were wanting to move out to Australia in a few years. That in itself scares me to death. But I am thinking now that maybe any court order would be better than nothing as then it protects my interest with my son.

Hi Dan, my situation hasn't dragged on as long as yours but similarly I've had resistance to see my child. Ultimately I had to go to court and they granted me overnight residential stays at my house as there was no justification to not do, similar to you I can see.

If your in England you would have to offer mediation 1st as its compulsory but if she goes and you don't agree or she doesn't go you can then raise a court action. It sounds like me you would be better to go to court if you need to. Everyone rightly says don't go to court if you can help it which I true but for a few unfortunates like us, its better than nothing as without lawful obligation, we will forever be at the whims of whatever mood our ex is in.

I'd bite the bullet and get on it ASAP I so wished I had started court proceedings A LOT earlier than I did, you sond like you have a brilliant case for contact a [censored] of a lot more than me, Every court in the land promotes a child to have contact with BOTH parents so get your [censored] down to a mediator and book an appointment, trust me you wont regret it and you will feel loads better once the ball is rolling 🙂

My ex make up all the usual allegations of DV child abuse ect ect and she has been a full on [censored] all the way through whilst trying to drag it out as long as possible she seems to be one of the worst judging by peoples comments on her and at the end of the day it took me exactly 4 months from first attending court to getting an contact order to see my Girl 🙂

Hi there, you've had some brilliant advice from everyone. I would just add that whatever the outcome of mediation, if the move to Australia is a real possibility, you can apply to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent them moving country.

Thank you all guys, its amazing how even just talking about it on an open forum with like minded people makes me feel better. Slim you mention it only took you 4 months? How did that come about, was it luck with court dates? Or did she sense in the end and did she have a solicitor?

Would a prohibited steps order likely to be granted? I had done a little bit of reading on this and it seemed general concensus that the courts would not prevent them from moving.

Brokendad can i ask how long it took for an order to be granted in your case?

no mate neither of us was represented and my ex has been an absolute nightmare throughout she would no agree to anything at all ever the courts forced her to allow contact.

My first hearing was end of april I put my c100 in 4 weeks earlier, they said I had to do a drug test attend a spips course and get a letter from doctor and caftwats to do a s7 report the next court date was last week in July when they ordered another drug test me to do a parenting course and for contact to start asap for 3 months in a contact centre which she ignored for and extra 2 months but the threat of another court date made her play ball.

She acused me of DV towards her, sexual abuse towards her, she said I hit her eldest daughter and smacked her nephews and convinced caftwats I was a malicious controlling abusive ex who had made her life a misery for years, the courts didnt even mention all that and awarded me contact anyway