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Did you have a consent order that clarifies what, how much and how long you need to pay maintenance? That's normally what would be required by the court,, after which they send you the Absolute... You son's age is material, if you pay maintenance the consent order will specify whatever you and your ex agree, in my divorce, it was until each child turned 18 and or remained in full time education, although the financial arrangements had he stayed in education would be withdrawn from the ex and payable directly to my son.
In term of pension, again this should have been agreed before the absolute is sent by the court, so it would seem strange if you got the absolute and the court didn't wait for the consent order to be agreed and signed, can't have one without the other, its the law.
What your ex cannot do is bring your new wife into play, her earnings, savings, pensions etc are all hers/yours and in no way can they be linked to anything between you and your ex. I know of men who have their own businesses, put it in their new wives name, get aid basic wage and contribute as little as possible, telling CSA they earn very little and off the wife new goes and earns loads from the business and the ex cannot touch it or indeed challenge it.
Sorry, not sure if that helps, but as I said, you can't have a decree absolute unless the court signs off the financial arrangement between the two parties.
Hi, I am hoping someone may be able to help/offer some advice to a situation that I have. In June 2018 my wife decided to leave me and take my youngest child with her. At this time, she said that she wanted no money for me for him (in front of a witness) and that when our marital home was sold it would be split 50/50. This happened 14 months after the split and there was no mention of any payments for my child. However, I met a new partner and we were due to have a baby. As soon as she found out about this, she logged a case with the CMS and they sent me a payment calculation. I spoke with my ex and explained that she had agreed with me that she wouldn't want maintenance due to the fact that she took 50% of the equity from the house sale. She said she would be prepared to leave the payments for the time being. A short while after this, my new girlfriend had our baby prematurely and he died. This knocked me for six and my ex then started saying she wanted her CMS payments and that I had not been paying. I contacted CMS and informed them of this, but still she kept on contacting them and lying saying we had no arrangement and she wanted paying. Due to the stress in my life as a result of the loss of my home and baby I neglected the CMS and they subsequently set up pay and collect and deductions from earnings. However, due to the stress I was under, I had to leave my job and money was not taken from any salary. My girlfriend fell pregnant again, and again gave birth prematurely and lost our second child. To say my life was turned upside down is an understatement. Anyway, the long and short if it is that I have now turned my life around and although it peeves me, I am now able to concentrate on other things and will now be willing to make payments, but I wanted to avoid having to pay the 20% collection fees from CMS. I've emailed my ex to this effect but she has ignored me. My question is, if I contact the CMS and explain this, what's the liklihood of them believing that my ex is a liar and has previous verbal agreements with me which she has gone against, and also to revert from collect and pay to direct pay?
You will remain on collect and pay. Nothing you do will change that. If there was any chance it would be if ex allowed it. The chances are that would highly unlikely happen either unfortunately.
the "verbal" agreement won't mean anything.
Your best avenue right now is to carry on paying, develop some good history, tell the CMS your situation and ask them when they think they can review.
I suggest you don't bring up any of these "verbal agreements" and what not
With your ex, again develop some good paying history then ask. you're on a weak position so recognise that.
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