[Solved] Help needed

I can't see that a court would change the order so soon after the last order, I would have thought that you would need to leave it for a few months at least to go back to vary the order, and at the same time, you could then also set out a schedule for increasing contact beyond the immediate court order.

Hi there

Its not usually a good idea to go back to court so soon. It's a pity you didn't ask for a 6 month review hearing... but as the order has only been in place for a couple of months, you could write to the court, making it for the attention of the judge that made the final order, and ask if they would consider restoring the case for a review hearing, as your children are already expressing their wish to have their contact increased and the mother is refusing to discuss it. If you decide to write, make sure you include your case number and names of the children.

Courts have the discretionary power to return a case up to 12 months after the final hearing, so if the judge is so minded, they might agree to return it, it worth a try.

Best of luck

Does the order make any mention in the recitals that you are to agree an increase in contact between you?

Even if it does, in my experience, this is too soon to attempt to return to court unless the order gives you permission to restore the proceedings.

Did you have a contested hearing or was the order agreed by both of you?

Hi guys sorry for the delay I was waiting to receive notifications that I had replies to my post but I never did?

anyway the gist of it is we attending the FDH and allegations were made from her, they sent us away for her write up her allegations and me to write up my responses to her allegations, in order for the magistrates to assess whether a fact finding hearing was necessary.

Her allegations consisted off, a random made up story over 2 years ago that we was out and I pushed her, I have witnesses who could confirm it was not true.

The other allegations were the general typical allegations that reappear in these cases from the mothers, that I was abusive.

During this entire time I was subjected to seeing my two children at a contact centre for 2 hours fortnightly.

I am suffering with extreme anxiety, along with depression and the thought and fear of it going to a fact finding and having to stand up and justify (even when I new deep down it couldn't possibly go to a fact finding since all they would find is we don't get along) but to avoid it going through the courts any further and being subjected to possible further visits to my children at contact centres at this next court hearing my solicitor and her barrister was doing the usual, lets sort this before going in the court room.

It was a bank holiday weekend and the arrangement was suggested that I have them overnight Friday - Monday and return late Monday when a bank holiday, to hear if I accepted this I would have them back in my care the following day was overwhelming I accepted since my solicitor kept advising me and in fear that I would be subjected to either a fact finding or more limited contact to continue.

We went into the room at this 2nd hearing and it was in actual fact confirmed that it would not have gone to a fact finding anyway!! the arrangement that our solicitors had discussed prior to going in was being finalised.

so there wasn't a judge who made the arrangements, I agreed with her arrangement in complete fear since she had control over everything.

Could I write to the court to explain how uncooperative she is being and that I need assistance? I am meant to text her at 7pm every Tuesday to confirm that am collecting the boys from school should I do it a minute late then I am refused this and have to collect them from her at 5pm - 6.30pm and return them to her. This happened, I fell asleep as my depression is overwhelming at times, text her an hour later and she has refused, I text her to clarify that she is willing for our children to only have 1 hour and a half we me when it is not my weekend with me, she told me I was harassing her.??? and also I was breaking the court order by allowing a mediator to contact her.

Why isn't it recognised that prior to her "controlling behaviour" that my children remained in my care for over 75% for a 12 month period and this routine has gone from one extreme of her not being involved to the other.

Do I complete a c100 and asked for it to be vary? I am literally going in blind your help is so much appreciated. I have wrote a letter to her solicitor that acted for her first time, I don't anticipate a response, but hope it will cost her.

I can't see that asking a mediator to contact her is a breach of any order, and I can't see that a court will see it as they expect you try mediation anyway before going back to court. I'm still not convinced that you can go back to get the order varied so soon, but if she is acting that unreasonably, then going back to court for enforcement would certainly be reasonable. I'm not sure whether just writing to the court might be a better idea - hopefully someone with more knowledge of court proceedings can help here.

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m thinking to just write to the court then? do you know how I do this, who I address it too? Can I enclose a family photo or probably advised not too?

Thank you

There’s nothing to lose from writing to the court... they can only say no!

If you decide to write/email the court, include the case number, your names and the children’s names, and across the top write for the attention of the name of the judge who’s name is on the final order.

Explain briefly the constraints she is placing on you, that if you’re just 1 minute late texting she refuses to allow you to collect the children, that she accuses you of harrassment when you try to discuss it with her, and that she refuses to mediate because she states mediation is breaking the order. Ask for advice and request that the case be restored to try and sort it out.

Don’t attach any photos and keep it as brief and to the point as possible.. there are no guarantees that they will agree to restore, they may advise you to make a further application, if that happens you should go the mediation route to show that you have tried to keep it out of court.

All the best

Thanks guys for your quick advice.

She ignored the solicitors letter, she keeps insisting that I speak to her by my solicitor. how stupid can you get, why would I go through my solicitor at a cost to me when it is her who has the problem. anyway lets see if this letter to the court does it.

Theres no name on the court order such as a judge? so I am literally just going to address it to the court manager??

thanks

Is there a name of a court adviser? It’s unusual for their not to be the name (signature) of the person that granted the order.

Let us know how you get on. Best of luck.