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Hi I'm new to this site and need advice.
My ex whom I split with over 8 years ago has sent me a letter stating that I'm not allowed contact with my children.
All this stemmed from me not paying her as much money as I used to,I was paying her £400 for my kids and also all of the mortgage so she basically lived rent free and doesn't work either so she lives a very comfortable life.
I had to stop the payments as my job ended where I was on a good wage and I had to work for min wage so I financially can only afford to pay csa and half the mortgage.
She has for the last 2 years refused to pay any of her part of the mortgage and now the house will be repossessed.
She refuses to work and thinks she should get everything on a plate.
Anyway she's tried stopping me from seeing my kids before but always relented when she's had enough of them and wants a break.
I received a letter from her yesterday stating I'm not allowed to see my kids due to "historic mental and domestic absuse (which has never happened) and she's also telling the kids one who's 9 and the other 5 that I used to hit her and has convinced my son that he saw it when he was 2 years old.
I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do.
I've never done anything to her (domestic abuse) or (mental abuse) but she's basically alienating my children against me.
Any help as to what I can do would be much Appreciated.
Thankyou
Hi there
Sorry for the delay in responding.
It's dreadful for a mother to involve the children in this way. Her arguement falls down when she agreed to contact happening since this alleged abuse took place, which has got to be over 8 years ago, before you split!
Contact and maintenance are two entirely separate issues, and one has no bearing on the other... whatever you pay her has nothing to do with he level of contact you have.
Your first step is to attend mediation to try and sort this out, it's now a requirement before a court application can be made. If she refuses to attend, or if mediation fails, the mediator will sign off the C100 form to enable you to make the application.
There's lots of info in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section and we will advise and support you as much as we can. I wouldn't leave it too long before starting the process, the sooner you can get it going, the sooner you can resolve this.
Once you are in a position to make the application, it's important that you ask for an interim order for contact with your kids to resume straight away.
All the best
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