[Solved] Help - EX preventing overnight stay

Hello jamesdpmullan,

I'm assuming you do not have a Court Order and that the overnight arrangement was agreed between yourselves?

To overcome the missing school items is it feasible for you to collect them from school on Friday and have them until Sunday or collect them later on a Friday when they have changed out of their school clothes? Another alternative is to stay with the days you have them but instead of taking them to school, leave half an hour earlier and take them to their mother's to put their school uniform on.

In hindsight it wasn't the best thing to do when you sent them back as you were depriving the children of being with you, however, I can well understand your frustration. I think the mother is being very unreasonable towards the children and yourself and irresponsible when it comes to not making sure they have their school uniform with them. However, you seem to have been getting along very well since the split with your wife six years ago so I would hope this one issue can be nipped in the bud and not allowed to escalate into something which could cause more irritation and heartache.

An apology from you in sending them home and an apology from your Ex in not checking they had their uniform may be enough to solve the issue. If you could consider giving her a small bunch of flowers to go along with the apology, you may be on to a winner.

Best of luck. Please let us know how you get on.

Hi James

Unfortunately as there is no court order she can refuse contact whenever she feels like it, without comeback.

As you have had fortnightly weekend access for a long time I would advise that you try and resolve this spat as soon as possible.

Your first step would be to attempt to solve this with mediation, this is the first step and is a requirement before court action can be taken. Although she has refused to attend mediation when you have asked, it might be a different matter is she receives a more formal request.

You would attend mediation first and discuss the issues and what you would like to happen, the mediator would then contact your ex and request that she attends. If she ignores this or mediation doesn't work, the mediator can sign the court form to enable you to apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact.

At mediation you can put together a schedule of contact and reach agreement about ensuring that she provides the correct uniform, as MotherofaFather mentions, if she can't agree to this then it would make sense for you to push for a Friday - Monday weekend which would solve this problem....work commitments allowing.
You can instruct a solicitor at this point, or you can choose to self represent, many dads here have taken this route with much success...its disable and we would do all we can to advise and support you though the process.

Have a look at stickys at the top of the legal eagle section where you'll find plenty of information about the court process.

All the best

Hi There,
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I agree with what Mojo has said, as no formal order in place she can stop without any issues which isn't fair, if possible you want to try and get things back to how they were and you are in a strong position to do this as it has been set up with over nights for a while.
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As Mojo has said you would firstly need to try mediation, if your ex won't attend or you can't resolve things the mediator will sign the court papers so that you can submit them, as you had overnight you are in a strong postion to get that back.
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With regards to school uniform that is where things could get difficult, she doesn't have to supply you with clothes whilst they are with you, so in theory, you could have to supply uniform and shoes ect for when you drop them at school, the issue then being managing to get them back, I would imagine that the court could make a rulling on that, in maybe a way that they should ariive with you, with everything they need for school on the Monday, Alternatively, you could try and change what has happened in the past, to maybe collect them on a Friday night after school and drop them back Sunday evening, which would then remove the issue of school uniforms.
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GTTS

Hi,

Spot on posts above.

Court could make a ruling to include the school uniform issue. Just make sure that should any order go forward that it is clear with what it is asking eg complete uniform needs (was thinking about things like PE kits as an example).

Good luck

You've had great advice there, I would definitely push for either a Fri-Sun or Fri-Mon arrangement and that way you eliminate the problem.

Good luck!