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...in answering the following questions..
What are my rights if I’m denied access to my child? If my name is on the birth certificate and the mother of my child has decided that I am not allowed to see my child, even when I pose no danger to the child or family?
How do you get a DNA test? If I have doubts that the child is not mine, is it possible to seek a DNA test? What if the mum decides against it?
Can dads change their daughter’s nappies? I have always been unsure of changing nappies and thought that dads could only change their sons and females change their daughters, is that the case?
What difference does the presence of a father make? Will me being part of my child’s life in a positive way have any bearing on their development?
Does the dad’s name automatically go on the child’s birth certificate? I am worried that the expectant mum will not allow my name on the birth certificate and I feel powerless about it. How can I resolve this matter?
Thank you so much.
Big respect.
Roab
Hi Roab and welcome!
Goodness such a lot of questions! I think the first one I want to answer is the question of a fathers worth.... which is immeasurable. In my opinion, a father is as important in a childs life as the mother. Your presence in your childs life matters in so many ways...think about the kids that grow up never having known their father, its common for them to feel empty and confused about their place in the world and to spend their lives searching for the thing in their lives that has been missing, not feeling a whole person. When I think about my own father, I cant imagine what kind of person I might have become had he not been in my life. He taught me patience and to take responsibility for my actions, not to run away from things but to face them and deal with them so that my fear of them would diminish as I regained control. He loved me unconditionally and when I was down he picked me up and carried me until I was able to stand on my own two feet again.... He supported me and encouraged me in so many ways, and made me feel that I was the most important person in his life...and I was! When he was proud of me, it was the best feeling in the world!! ...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture!
...And yes he changed my nappies and blew bubbles on my belly! ...and I believe my cot was on his side of the bed so that when I woke in the night, he could reach in and stroke my hair and sooothe me back to sleep. I was the archetypal Daddies Girl, right up until he died three years ago. I was blessed to have such a wonderful man as my Dad....
The dads name doesnt automatically go on the birth certificate it is up to the parents to have it included. The mother could leave it off but if that happens there are things that can be done.
As far as DNA testing is concerned, I think this is something that is done privately and therefore theres a cost involved....anything from £99 upwards, theres plenty of websites that will do this through the post. It might be the case that under certain circumstances the court or maybe CSA would ask for it to be done, but I'm not completely sure about that. My son did a Paternity test without the mothers knowledge, just to be sure. Some mothers might agree to having the test, some wont.
Hope this helps!
Hi Roab
You haven't explained too much of the situation you are in - is there any chance you can sort things out with your ex?