[Solved] Help, Dad but not paternal

Hi there 🙂

Simply put, yes you can apply for Parental Responsibility. I just want to say I have the utmost respect for you, and the fact that you are staying in your sons life....being a Dad is much, much more than the bio aspect.

Frankly I'm amazed that the SS are not being more pro active considering the mothers history and her ongoing problems....they do have powers they are just not excercising them.

You can apply for an emergency Residence Order and PR at the same time. I would speak to the lead social worker and ask if they will support your application for custody. You can be in court in a matter of days. It will cost you £200 to submit the application forms, you will need a C100 form to apply for Residency and a C1 form for the PR. if you are on benefits or a low income you will be entitled to an exemption from the cost of the court fees and to apply for that you will need form EX160a. All of these forms can be downloaded from the justice.gov website or you can pick them up from your local court. You will find lots of information about representing yourself in two stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section and there's also one about how to fill in the C100 form. There are lots of Dads here that have been, or are going through this process, so you will get plenty of advice and support.

Here's a link to an informative website that gives you more information about the process.

www.thecustodyminefield.com

Best of luck and if you need to talk or are not sure of anything, or just need support along the way you only need to ask 🙂

Thank you for your help previously Nannyjane. I am in the process of applying for parental responsibility and have employed a solicitor who specialises in family law and has came highly recommended, more importantly who actually listens. She has asked me to provide witness statements to support my case, who should these be from and what content should they contain.

In the time since my last post I have seen my son approximately 3 weekends in 4, having him stay with me from a Friday until Sunday as my ex stays approx. 100 miles away, incidentally all the travelling is on my part spending 4 hours driving every Friday and Sunday to pick him up and take him back. Around 2 months ago in a social work meeting I asked to have additional days and to be able to take him on an upcoming holiday, which my ex didn't contest. I have been written into my sons care plan that he has regular contact with me as without parental responsibility all I have is my ex`s word I can continue seeing him.

I have decided not to try for custody and a residence order just now on my solicitors advice, social work will support my application for parental rights but not for residence claiming they have no evidence against my ex. I am becoming more and more disheartened with the social work process. My sons social worker changed approx. 3 months ago, the previous one knew my ex and kept the pressure on her knowing this is just history repeating with her, the new one is so laid back its almost like she cant be bothered. They keep stating they have no evidence yet I and some of my ex`s family have provided evidence, she has been caught breaking the care plan in place as my son is on the child protection register. In some cases its almost as if they just have a quiet word and that's it. They take no regard into her and her new partners behaviour and how that impacts on my son, particularly the alcohol abuse, even brushing aside the issue of empty cans and bottles lying around when the health visitor carried out an unannounced visit. The social work team leader is almost as bad, has known my ex for the past 10 years been involved with her previous kids and knows what she is like, clamps down hard on her in the small social work meetings, yet in the large child protection reviews praises her and is now talking about removal from the register and placement on a supervision order. How can this happen when the reasons that put him on the child protection register still exist.

I agree with NJ and not once have you referred to him as anything other than your son. Is there any way you can get a report from the previous social worker, or complain that the case is no longer being taken seriously?

Hi there,

It's good to hear from you, and great that you have been able to have regular contact with your son, and are progressing with PR.

Your disenchantment with Social Services is a story far too often echoed by others, and my own experience with them is similar to your own... That said the fact is we have to do our best to work with these people and try and find a way through it all whilst still maintaining our sanity!

I think a letter from your solicitor to the lead Social Worker highlighting your concerns and asking for these to be noted in the case files would be appropriate. At least their response is on file with your solicitor for future use if needed. Your solicitor could also ask for a letter stating your inclusion in the care plans and their support of your application for PR...this would certainly help.

I take it the statements your solicitor is asking for relate to PR... A statement from the mother supporting your application would be advantageous. Statements also from anyone that has witnessed your ability as a father and the fact that you have been there throughout would be what you are looking for. Just be aware that people that you ask may be required to attend court as witnesses, I would check this with your solicitor.

The statements don't have to be terribly long or involved, they just need to corroborate your involvement in your childs life, your commitment to him and your ability to care for him emotionally and financially. How seriously you take your parenting role and the security and stability that your presence in his life provides ....how you have always been there for him and how much you love and cherish him!

I feel if you continue to be frustrated and ignored by the SS and you don't feel they are meeting their obligations to your son you can always go and see your MP about this...it might also be an idea to get the current OFSTED report on your Local Authority SS department, and if they are on an improvement order or have a poor report then this will be something that you can use to try and get them to step up to the mark.

Best of luck with it all

Thanks again for all your help guys. I have found a Joint Inspectorate report for the local authority involved and its a good one to be honest, one of the best in the country it seems however this dates back almost 2 years. I really need to keep SW onside just now, but again with another 2 incidents which adversely affect my sons safety what have they done, absolutely nothing. I`ve lost all faith in them, he is on the Child Protection Register and what do they do, nothing, apparently not having the power to do so. Where can I find out what powers they do and do not have.

I`m in the process of trying to contact the previous social worker however this is also proving difficult, still in social work but in another local authority. Grrrrrr.

I don't think it would hurt to go and see your MP if you feel the child is at risk....it's a misconception that you have to keep them (SS) on side in my opinion. They are more likely to do things by the book when complaints have been made. Have you tout about speaking to the senior manager, the Social workers boss?