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Hi every1 I would never have thought id get to be using a site like this but seems its informative and u all give sound advice.
withouth going into so much detail my ex wife cheated on me 4 years ago we had 2 children together. ive always done right by her and the kids money wise and never missed a weekend seeing my kids.
i got myself in some debt last couple of years and have to work a lot more hours now but also met a new partner a year ago first my kids loved her but my ex wife took a dislike (she is very jealous and bitter despite remarrying and having anohter kid as the new husband hasnt turned out what she thought and they are in debt and in council house now) but ive never caused them no hassle. my daughters have recently said they dont like my partner cos she takes me away from them but thats not the case its my debt and working that means I havent got as much time and of course i try and have days alone with them like my ex wife told me i had to do but my partner wants a relationship with them and tries really hard. my kids have been coming out with stuff i know is from their mum but I have tried to reassure them but they just seem so jealous suddenly and my ex wife said unless i leave my partner i cant see my kids. I am taking her to court as she refused mediation and have a court date set for a couple of weeks but havent seen my kids or spoke to them in a few months now and am worrying what she has filled there heads with.
Can anyone tell me what the cafcass interview will involve and if my kids say they only want to see me alone and not with my partner will a court stick by that? im worried im going to lose some1 i really love and see a future with and is trying to help me with debts and build a future together and also she is pregnant with my child now. I have no where else to take my kids as I live with my partner and my family have said if a court tries to say I should be alone with my kids and take them to there houses they wont have it as they believe thats my ex wife dictating my life and trying to ruin any happiness i have and they cant stand what she has done as every1 has seen the effort my partner has tried to make with my kids paying for days out and trying to make their time with us fun. please i am so worried and just need some advice will a court let me see my kids straight away i miss them so much and there are no safeguarding issues although god knows what my ex will make up she is a born liar cheats the benefits system never worked a day in her life and wants to see me on my own for some reason
the first Cafcass phone call will just be basic and to get an overview of both of your positions. It's nothing to worry about. Speak from the children's point of view and just tell the truth of the situation.
Ultimately, nobody can stop your partner being involved, but you might have to jump through a few hoops first.
Thanks for your response.
But if the children say they dont want to see my partner and dont like her then what will the court suggest I do or cafcass for that matter?
There's no guarantee a court will even order Cafcass to carry out a wishes and feelings report, even if they do and the children say they don't like her - unless there are safeguarding reasons why they shouldn't be around her, a court isn't going to say she can't see them. It's something that is going to require input from both parents to support the children with this contact - the court can make that clear.......
How old are your children. I have heard they will put great weight on children wishes from 12 years of age.
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