[Solved] Help and Guidance Needed

Thanks Bill. Thats the plan. Mediate to get the child arrangements in place and then take it from their. I have put far too my time into my children then become a ad-hoc parent. Thank you.

Thanks so much BananaDad. I've just tried to be a nice guy for the sake of the children and for the sake of her. * months in though now and I will have to take the bull by the horns and get the routine and child arrangements finalized. Its hard to get away from the emotion when you have known and loved someone for so long. Thank you.

Do not under estimate her once she sees finances and contact are related! you need to become and be able to prove you are "squeaky clean"..so avoid confrontations where you cannot prove your version of events.

Anything to do with the kids contact and later the financial side get it put in writing between you...emails / letters / texts....save them all you may need them to use as evidence later.
don't slag her off or be aggressive/confrontational....she could and may be advised to play the "victim card" that so many here are being put through for no other reason than spite and greed!
Remember the less you have the kids the more maintenance she will be after! hence why sorting child contact first has been advised by the others here!
get any agreement in writing, if in front of the mediator ask to have it put in to a legal agreement (at court) to protect your contact agreements

If you haven't already, start making a diary of any events or disturbances between you and your ex, do it in a written diary format, as soon after the event, this will be useful for you going forwards if you need to rely on something that happened but have no other evidence.

keep records of everything...

This forum is a great source of help and support, if you want to speak face to face with someone then i'd recommend finding a local Families Need Fathers group...check out the FnF website for locations near you and pop along to speak with other members...always good to find others in similar situations who can give advice through experiences they've been through.

Thanks Dad-i-d. Thats really helpful advice. Things have got quite emotional over the past 8 months and I do suspect things will be used against me but I will stand my ground. I only got emotional after finding out something in regards to another man which she denies.

I sense a hard journey ahead.....

Thank you.

I agree totally with dad-i-dad - you need to be squeaky clean. Assume anything you do or say will be put before a judge, and question whether it would count against you if it was, if it would, then don't do it, or change how you say it.