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Hi
I have a very sad, nasty and complicated situation going on with me ex re: our 12 year old son.
I won't bore you with it but I am desperate to know the answer to this question, if anyone could help I would be extremely grateful.
My ex was granted a live with order under false pretences, a professional misled court ( I have absolute proof of this and there is an investigation taking place) and my son does not want to live with his mum. He is very upset about the order but is now 120 miles away and contact with him is non existent.
What I need to know is if he stays with me and then refuses, of his own accord, to not go back, am I violating the live with order or can he still vote with his feet with a live with order in place?
Its disgusting what has happened to him but I absolutely understand that whilst I am doing what I can for him in the background, that I can in no way influence or encourage him to take such action. I just want to make sure I do the right thing if he does.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi
It's difficult at the age your son is.
If he stays with you and there isn't a court order to reflect this, you're on shaky ground.
If you think he is in immediate danger, you can make an urgent application to court to have the matter dealt with.
Failing that, if he visits and refuses to return, you can also make an urgent application to the court to have the matter dealt with.
If neither of the above apply and he wants to live with you then you can make an application in the regular way. His wishes and feelings will be taken into account at this age.
Thank you for the advice. I can't believe the system has let my son down so badly. I am getting advice as we speak and will share my experience, after the fact, for the benefit of others.
Best of luck with it... as Yoda said, he will be listened to.
If there’s an order in place to state that he lives with his mother, does it also state/order contact between you? I ask because you’ve stated that contact is non existent at the moment.
As there is an investigation taking place, might it be advisable to wait for that to be completed before taking any action?
If your son refuses to return to his mother, it would be advisable to make an urgent, no notice application to vary the existing order, and a prohibited steps order to prevent his removal.
Hopefully you are on your way to getting this sorted out for your child.
Best of luck
In one way, the fact that you have little contact with him might actually work to your advantage, in that your ex can't say that you've coached him, so if he makes it clear to cafcass (who I would hope will speak to him as part of the proceedings) that he want's to live with you and feels in danger by living with his mother, then it has to be his feelings, and not yours.
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