Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello all
I'm new to the site and am looking for any help or information that could assist with my recent / ongoing split with my partner.
So.. a bit of back ground info may be in order.I have been with my partner for twenty years we are not married .We have two children and a 3 bed semi house .She's cheated and we are in the early days of a split.The kids want to stay with me ,they are 11 and 15.I really could do with any advice concerning where I stand with kids ,house ,money etc.Anything appreciated !
Hi
At the age you kids are, I'd say that there is every chance they can stay with you - a court is going to take a lot of consideration of the views of a 15 year old (in fact, at 16, they wouldn't need to make an order) and they would much prefer to leave the children together, as well as the fact that at 11, they would take some consideration of their views as well. That means that you have a better chance of keeping a larger proportion of the house as you will be providing a home for the children, and your ex would also be liable for maintenance for your children. You need to speak to a divorce lawyer (I know you're not married) regarding the property, but if you have any further questions in respect of residence, post them in the legal eagle section and we'll give what advice we can.
Hi all
Thanks for the info.At the moment we are talking about an amicable split ,but I'm worried that will change when she gets advice.She's a legal secretary so I think I may get the s***y end of the stick.She says its ok for the kids to stay with me and we stay in the house.I think financially I may just be able to cover all the bills etc .I know she would have to pay some maintenance,but is there any other help I can get.I have never really dealt with bills and stuff before it was all done by her .
Well, you'll get the child benefit, and there may be child tax credits. It may be worth not mentioning maintenance for the moment until it's all settled, and then I'd look at a family based arrangement rather than use the CSA if you can help it as it sounds like keeping it amicable could be worthwhile.
Hi there
Welcome to the site
Is the relationship definitely over or there are chance of any kind of reconciliation? I guess not
I guess that you would want to keep the kids in the same school especially as the eldest will be doing GCSEs - how are they coping with it all?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.