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Hi All,
I have had long running concerns with the way the local SS have been managing my Family Assistance Order which culminated in what Id describe as a "ding dong" on the telephone yesterday with the social worker assigned to the case.
I have brought concerns recently where my former has introduced our children to 3 new partners in 9 months and have communicated to the SW what our children have said about these relationships in that they miss seeing 2 of the partnersand children.
I communicated to the SW that this shows loss on behalf of the children and is not the best way for my former to act and goes against CAFCASS advice which is available.
Despite the SW agreeing with CAFCASS he still says that he sees nothing wrong and got annoyed that I asked him to consult his manager for a second opinion.
I also asked that as part of the FAO he draw up a detailed plan stating actions that should be carried out by both my former and I which is again as CAFCASS advise.
He pushed back on this and I explained that I was unhappy with the way the FAO is being dealt with and pointed out he was the second social worker involved because I had raised concerns previously.
He told me he doesnt work for CAFCASS and so doesnt know how the paln should be done so I told him he was the CAFCASS representative and needed to go find out.
He accused me of ignoring his advice but when I asked what advice I was ignoring couldnt tell me so I asked him to put everything in writing by way of responding to my previous mail that I had sent. He refused stating that he wouldnt respond to my mail as he was talking with me on the telephone.
I insisted that he respond to my mail and he then said he would sometime this week which in my opinion will be 1600 on Friday as this seems to be how they work.
The conversation got quite heated on both sides and I did give him a flea in his ear regards how the FAO was being conducted.
I am wonering now if I have shot myseelf in the foot as he is pretty cheesed off with me as I am being demanding but I am being demanding as I just dont think that SS are doing theyre job and it has meant that points of conflict between myself and my former have festered and dragged on.
He even told me rather flipantly to go back to court to which I told him that his advice was discusting and that the FAO is meant to minimise the need to go back to court.
Apart from my former introducing the children to what seems like every partner she meets I think the children are being cared for as my former lives with her parents with the children and the help out, she is disabled.
Any thoughts out there? Is there a diffeerent approach I can take, Im just annoyed that SS seem to be a workshy bunch and dont even manage the FAO as it is supposed to.
Regards,
Dave
Hi Dave
I think you have every right to question his professional ability, have you taken it above his head?
I've messaged a member called Greyling who has direct experience in these matters. He's given some great advice about how to escalate complaints against SS in other posts, so with any luck he will be along soon to give you some pointers about how to take this forward.
Hi NJ,
I PM Greyling for advice previously and he gave great advice regards asking for a case review and that my concern about 3 partners in 9 months may be ignored.
I guess the situation has moved on somewhat so Id be glad for his guidance on moving on from where I am now.
I feel that if the FAO had a plan then there wouldnt be the mess that there is now and I just want to move forward but I fear Im now labled a trouble maker.
When the SW called me he was stuttering and obviously wasnt comfortable that I had asked for a detailed plan and that I knew the CAFCAss guidance on the FAO.
Lets see what Greyling and others suggest.
Thanks again!
Regards,
Dave
Hi Dave, you haven't shot yourself in foot, it sounds like both you and SW were having a bad day, at times we all want to shout and scream down phone, have you got email address for SW, if yes send an email about you conversation, at beginning put apology in saying basically you were having bad day upset about children, then you say you would like to work with SW in developing a positive way forward, ask for a meeting with him to draw up a Way Forward Plan, starting with a blank sheet and where your going to get too, start with CAFFCAS report, advice, and work forward from that, don't try to deal with everything at one meeting, draw up an agenda and stick to it, you will have had months of all of this, but think of it as a new beginning, however much you dislike SS, the way they work ect. it doesn't matter. what your doing is trying to get him them on your side, if this doesn't work then you have every right to ask for a review of your case, don't do that on the phone, don't ring up and ask for manager, do it in writing, if anyone rings you for a discussion, you then send them an email saying can you confirm points that have been said.
This bit your not going to like, your wife could sleep with the Archbishop, The Pope and the King of Norway all on the same day, you may not like it, I and everyone on here may not like it, Social Services couldn't give a dam who with and how many men she sleeps with, the only time they would intervene is if they believe the children are at risk from harm, believe me ive seen enough cases, they are not, on a scale of 1-10 this would be a 2 on at risk scale, make your concerns to SW then drop it, this is about you and your children, your fighting to get the best outcome for them and yourself, stick to that and you will get there, PM me on any specific issues dealing with SS if you need too.
Hi All,
Thanks to you all for your responses. Greyling - I held of contacting the social worker until I had a response which I have had today.
I had pointed out to the social worker that the FAO was not being run as CAFCASS advise and he has mailed me today offering to set up a meeting with my former and I to create a detailed plan with actions for both parties which I think is great news.
He tells me he doesnt think that it will work but I see it as an opportunity to better the situation for our children.
I obviously hit a nerve when I told him that I was fed up of them and they way with which they were dealing with the FAO and quoted CAFCASS.
So I see this as an opportunity to progress in the best interests of our children and hope its not rope to hang myself.
Regards,
Dave
Well done Dave, I would call that a good result!
I think he earned himself a brownie point, he was big enough to take on board what you said and to address it....he could have just spat his dummy out and made things difficult for you! There's hope yet!
As much as I wish to disagree and label him a g1t Mojo I agree.
I look upon this a new opportunity for our children and hope that progress is made.
Regards,
Dave
Now that's a result I would never have expected from them - well done for getting that π
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