Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
There is a court order in place (with a warning attached) that gives both parents 2 separate periods of one week, holiday time with the child. The mother came up with a proposal, that was rejected by the father as not following the order. She replied that she was confident it was in line with court order and sticking it with. Her proposal gave her 12 overnights for one of her weeks, then 8 overnights for the other week. She gave the father 2 x 6 overnights.
She has been asked to explain how can this be correct, no reply. I emailed the courts who said could report her for breaking order, if believe she has done so, or ask for current order to be varied, but must try mediation first. Father happy with current order, just wants it to be fair. Everyone we ask agrees one week = 7 days, 7 nights. But mother won't listen, also how ever long one week is it should be the same for both of them.
Spoken to citizen advice today, He started going on about not arguing in front of child, (no body does) perhaps father should accept what mother giving, to prevent further argument !! Why should he.or can report her for breaking order, which could mean a completely new order, that y you don't like, but would then have to do it !! Came out stressed, upset and angry.
Spent ages in court already, but what else can we do other than report her for breaking order once and she will do the same every year going forward. Seems stupid going back to confirm how long a week is, but what else can he do?
From reading my first paragraph can anyone please tell me has she broken the order?
Thank you
Well yes. One week is 7 days, not six..... It's a tricky one and I've seen many instances that are very similar.
If these holiday times are passed - I would personally leave it, but try to get the next ones agreed in advance, and if she won't agree, warn her that she is in breach of the order and you will seek enforcement.
You don't need to attempt mediation for an enforcement application, Only if you apply to vary.
If you're happy with what the order gives and just want that enforcing, I really would give her one more chance to comply and then apply. It will look better on you if you can demonstrate that you have tried to get her to reach reasonable agreement inline with the order. It's pathetic really - sounds like she's trying to flex her maternal muscle of control!
Thank you for the reply Yoda.
She is currently working on her proposal for Xmas and Easter contact, so we could wait for that and see what she gives him, should be a week. Or email her before she does it to say breach of order this summer holiday and needs to rectify for further holidays. Then if still proposes less overnights, then report her, with more evidence.
I'm guessing the proposal will be unnecessarily complicated then? Usually the way. It's quite simple to propose a 7 night block, unfortunately, sometimes the wording in orders can be open to interpretation to suit the difficult parent's wishes!
Hi Jnny,
Maybe being a bit naive here but do the 7 days run over with a normal contact period i.e:
If parent X has child normally on Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun and then wants their holiday week to start on the next Monday, they would, in essence, get 11 days (maybe 10 to 11 overnights) back to back, even though the holiday days itself is just 7?
It may be a logistics thing too re: 7 days and 6 nights. Picking up on a Monday morning and returning on a Sunday evening would give 7 days and 6 overnights. I assume depending on child's age, if they are in school etc may have an impact on what is practical anyway (i.e. getting child back on a Sunday would allow them to get to school the next day after holiday).
Might be completely off base here, but hope this helps.
Concerned Daddy.
This is what I mean - so many orders are ambiguous and open to interpretation, that when you get an extra difficult parent, you can drive yourself mad trying to agree with their interpretation of the order.
Hope you get it sorted 🙂
Too true Yoda,
You'd almost think the Judges/magistrates love seeing us so often!
CD.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.