[Solved] Harrasment ? or anything similar. Ideas please

HI There,
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I know it's hard nut try not to second guess her, it will drive you mad, She may be up to something she may not be, but concentrate on being there for your kids and don't let her games get to you.
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If you are married and a divorce is pending, then maybe speak with her and make an agreement over how to move forward, the reason that is applied to the divorce papers doesn't really matter in the long term, it's just a peice of paper that gets filled away and you will know the true reason, so if you think she is digging around for a reason to put on the divorce petition, or that she is trying to make a reason, then suggest one to her so that you can move forward, tell her that you will agree to it to move things on.
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The reason for the divorce won't make any difference to the out come of any financial agreement that is made, and as long as you don't go along with a assult claim of any sort then it won't affect you seeing the children either.
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GTTS

Applications for a non mol only need the flimsiest of reasons/evidence for the order to be granted, often without the respondent even knowing about the court case until after the order has been granted. If the respondent can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the allegations are false, it may be set aside, but where there is doubt, a judge will often ask one or both parties to take an undertaking.

As GTTS mentions it might be more to do with the divorce proceedings....in any event it would be better for your children to stop questioning them about it, just enjoy the time you have together and allow them to enjoy their time with you, without having to worry about what their mother might be up to.

All the best

I am really noticing the eldest is learning how to react to me from his mother. As she wont answer the door when I call to collect the boys he now just stands there looking out the window when I arrive (having decided against having the pre arranged contact with me). The youngestis left trying to open the front door so he can come out to me. Point about this is that the eldest will not do anything with me unless he wants to do it...... would not have a saturday night sleepover but still expecting me to collect him on the sunday morning to take me to an event he is interested in. Point is that any kind of contact only operates if she wants him to do it. If I have to take a day off work to help out during the easter holidays when she is at work that will be fine but getting the eldest to come to a regular contact seems impossible.I am assuming because she does not care if he goes or stays and I am finding his respect for me is diminishing at the same time. If I can get him out of the house we have a good time together but he is dropping information ('mummy says you are a liar') to see how I react.

I have applied for a contact order first hearing will be in about 3 weeks. Can anybody advise if this sort of thing will be taken seriously and how to explain it so it will not be seen as sour grapes.

I think you need to set it out to the court that the mother is not adequately supporting either of the children to have a relationship with you & is putting the burden of adult decisions on your children's shoulders - the court don't like that. As the resident parent, the mother has a responsibility to the children to encourage and support a meaningful relationship with you. Her behaviour is heading towards being implacably hostile to contact and is likely to be manipulating and alienating the children.

How old are the children? If they are old enough and mother refuses to agree at court, there is a possibility that Cafcass will speak with the children to gain their wishes and feelings.

Write yourself a short position statement (2 pages, no longer) laying out a bit of background, why you're making the application and what you would like the court to do.

Keep posting and we will do what we can to assist you.

I had the telephone fact finding conversation with Cafcass last night and felt a lot better about if than I did the TAC group professionals at the school.Got divorce papers served on me at the beginning of last week nothing surprising there either. I have been warned I may not like the summary of information given to the judge prior to the hearing (by the cafcass person). I expect us to be back on a section 7 which I am happy about.

Cafcass have requested the attendance of the social worker that dropped us in January as they are going to have to look at the situation again for the court.

I am not sure how much of an interrogative hearing this one will be (will the court consider allegations made in the initial telephone interview) as I was asked about things my wife has alleged. Or will the court be more interested in the administrative side of things at this stage and wait for the collected section 7 information to be submitted?

Hearings have a habit of going in different directions, depending on the judge and where they take it. I wouldn't think it will be interrogative although you may both be asked some questions. It's more likrely the court will use this hearing to order further reports and possibly ask for statements from both parties.