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Guide to Representing Yourself in Court
Mediation will have been attempted, as it is a requirement before a court application can be made. Where there has been proven domestic violence, mediation is considered inapproriate and can be bypassed.
You will have now submitted your C100 form to the Courts and any additional documentation relating to your case.
This Guide to representing yourself at Court is for those who have automatic Parental Responsibility. Others on here can give more advice for those few cases where Parental Responsibilities are not there (for whatever reason).
The Courts
The Courts can be a daunting process and representing yourself dependant on your own circumstance will definitely test your mettle. The Courts have a duty to the Child and before a Court will consider whether Contact should resume, increase or even in some cases cease, they will consider the following:
• The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his age and understanding
• His physical, emotional and educational needs
• The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances
• His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his which the court considers relevant
• Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering
• How capable each of his parents, and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs
• The range of powers available to the court under this Act in the proceedings in question
Childrens Act 1989 S1 (3 a-g)
It should therefore be assumed that proceeding with a hearing that your case or the wishes of your application be in consideration of these.
Meeting the Defence
It is around 6wks since you sent off your C100 and you are now about to go for your first hearing. Go suited and booted. These hearings are much more formal than they would otherwise give themselves credit.
You are now acting on your own. It is good support for you to bring along a family member, one who won’t get heated and likewise one who will listen and let you take matters forward yourself. I myself took my Father who 22years ago was in my position. It was Sigmund Freud who wrote that people have a natural action to repeat what happened to them in their lives...
As your are representing yourself you will need to have a case prepared. It is a good idea to keep a “Bible†as I once called it. A folder containing everything relating to your case, diaries, receipts, pictures, letters relating to Contact Matters, emails and similar.
The first person you will come into contact with will be your ex-partners Solicitor or Barrister (or both). I have to say at this point the advice I can give is going to be limited as you will be talking about your case, as unique to you as it could be to every other.
Just like in the movies, you will now have to speak privately with the Defence, it is imperative you remain calm and collected. From this point on, all your actions need to be impeccable. Swearing, aggressive body language and even bad views will go against you. Be prepared as the Defence’s Barrister may bring up things that *i) you have never been informed of before ii) things that have never been an issue previously iii) things that you would need to comply with before she “allow†this Order/Application and finally iv) instances questioning your parenting and often relating to harm you may have caused your child.
Simply state your position, agree or disagree with what the Defence says and if you feel it getting too much… simply end the discussion politely and leave it for the Court room.
The First Hearing
The First Hearing is a directions hearing. In general Mothers can take two lines in this First Hearing. They could cede that yes, an order is to be made. Or an Order should not be made until she feels certain criteria are met. Those where the latter occurs, you will need to expect you will be in this process for some time.
As is usually the case and assuming that there have been no serious safeguarding or welfare issues raised you will sit in a Court with a Legal Adviser and on almost certainly this occasion a CAFCASS Officer, to act on behalf of the Child/Children of the case.
The Legal Adviser will essentially listen to your case. You will be asked to state what you want and why. You need to say what it is exactly you are asking for. Your Ex (or her representation) will make a statement and usually include the mentioned points that you would otherwise be unaware of (above *). You need to address these. If an agreement is not reached or there is a reason to not allow contact immediately the Legal Adviser may order welfare reports and order that both parents attend PIPS (Parenting Information Programme).
Second Hearing
This is where you will sit in front of a Panel of Magistrates, a Legal Adviser (to advise the Magistrate on the particulars of the Law) and a Court Usher. Should this happen, below will highlight what steps you now need to take:::
- A Legal Adviser will give instruction that you (The Applicant) will need to submit to the Court and the Respondent (via way of her Solicitor) a Statement to the Court. This called: The Position Statement
It should be said that often a Legal Adviser might first try and appoint a third hearing to go ahead under the direction of contact being for a trial period or indeed more contact being allowed (although not to your specification).
Preparing for the Final Hearing
My case took 5months to come to the Final Hearing. This was I would argue owed that I was a very forceful LIP (Litigant in Person) and pressed for hearing dates to be brought forward by a week/two weeks and likewise if I had not heard from the Courts a week afterwards I was on the phone asking where my Directions were. Also booking onto PIPs and Mediation at the earliest opportunity.
For the final hearing I will be assuming that your ex partner has a Solicitor acting for them. If not you will need to post in the Legal Eagle section. As such, for the final hearing you will only need to prepare your Position Statement. This is to be submitted by the Court and the Respondents Solicitor by the deadline date. It is a very formal process and stern questions will usually be asked as to why you/both parties cannot come to an agreement.
You Statement needs to have the following:
A Cover Page to detail: or have something of the following as similar:
In the [NAME OF COURT] Case Number: [CASE No.]
FAMILY DIVISION
Relating to [CHILDS NAME] born [DATE OF BIRTH]
BETWEEN
[YOUR NAME] (The Applicant)
AND
[YOUR EX’S NAME] (The Respondent)
STATEMENT OF [YOUR NAME]
At the base of the page needs to be included the following sentence:
I [YOUR NAME] of [YOUR ADDRESS] make this statement believing the contents to be true, accurate and in the knowledge that it will be put before the court and that it may be examined on the basis and points for which are enclosed.
The Second page should then read:
BACKGROUND
Note: I have included some bullet points as reference idea’s, but don’t be scared to put anything additional.
• Following separation of myself and [YOUR PARTNER] on [DATE YOU SEPARATED] we had left with an arrangement on the best interests of [YOUR CHILD]. I had been an involved and supportive Father to [CHILDS NAME] and their needs
• The agreements relating to contact after this time was that [STATE WHEN YOU HAD AGREED YOU WOULD HAVE CONTACT]
• [YOUR EX] stopped in the family home of [ADDRESS] and Maintenance was agreed via way of [HOW DID YOU COME TO A MAINTENANCE/SUPPORT AGREEMENT] and it was for [HOW MUCH MAINTENANCE DID YOU PAY]
• Changes in Contact occurred on or around [DATES OF ANY CONTACT CHANGES] and and Contact [CONTINUED/CHANGED/WAS DIFFICULT etc]
• State any other changes in Contact that occurred after that…
• Contact has continued until my Application to the Court on: [DATE YOU HAD CONFIRMATION OF YOUR APPLICATION C100 REACHING THE COURTS]
• Detail anything you have done to be supportive of contact
DETAILS SINCE COURT HEARINGS
• The scheduled hearing on [DATE] it was directed that: [WHAT WERE THE DIRECTIONS (As per your Letter from the Court)]
• The scheduled hearing on [DATE] was rescheduled to [FOLLOWING DATE] owed to [WHY WAS A HEARING CANCELLED] (Common examples are Medical Reasons, Work, Holidays, Family Occasions, Doctors Appointments and most are just reasons to prolong the Court Process)
• On [DATE] I attended Mediation and an agreement was made/was not made.
• The Agreement of Mediation was that: [WHAT WAS THE AGREEMENT]
• On [MOST RECENT COURT DATE] myself and [YOUR EX] attended Court and this has now resulted in a Contested Hearing
MEDICAL HISTORY
• There are currently no Medical requirements relating to [CHILDS NAME] as to which I am aware
Or:
• [CHILDS NAME] is currently under [ANY MEDICATION] and / or suffers from [MEDICAL CONDITION]
If your Child has a medical condition a supporting statement to say that: Even given [CHILDS NAME] Medical condition that this should not be a reason to defer [TYPE OF CONTACT YOU ARE AFTER i.e. Overnight] and that I would take action in the event of any Health need rising.
PLACE OF OVERNIGHT CARE
• Detail any discussion you have had previously relating to where the contact is to take place i.e. Contact is to take place at [ADDRESS]
• What provisions have you made relating to overnight contact i.e. have you prepared a room? Include a picture of this room if [you feel] necessary
REQUEST
• I seek that the Court grant me [WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING TO BE GRANTED i.e. Your Contact Timetable]
• That the Court grant in respect of the above additional time relating to Holidays, Birthdays, Christmas and similar occasions
• The Court support my opportunity to have phone calls [WHEN YOU WANT THEM] in addition to any Contact
• I would hope that over time both myself and [YOUR EX] can come to a suitable arrangement regarding future events i.e. Holidays without the need for further Court involvement
Note: The last bullet point is always worth putting on as it may serve as a useful reminder to your ex that you are prepared to use the Court again and additionally to any future cases that arise in that you had hoped things could be amicable
You then need to put a short statement at the end (not bullet pointed) to say: I feel that the above arrangement would be supportive of [CHILDS NAME] best interests and allow and support his/her right to have a relationship with all parties and their extended families.
CLOSING
This should have around 3, 3line paragraphs i) how your time is important with your child and how the Court granting the Order would support [CHILDS NAME]’s best interests; ii) How you contribute to care and development i.e. healthy meals, going to swimming; iii) How you feel things have been throughout the Court process
Finally a sentence or two to be from the heart to say that “[CHILDS NAME] has a Right to both parents in his/her life and I will always continue to support, nurture and cherish my time with [CHILDS NAME]â€
Note: Feel free to put something different on the last line, it is from the heart
Total Number of Pages including Cover should be between generally and assuming there are no safeguarding issues between 7-12pages
The Final Hearing
Be prepared for a long day. The night before ensure you have everything with you. Your Bible, smart clothes, polished shoes and you could probably use a shave after the nervous last few days. There really isn't much to worry about if we are honest with ourselves and the majority of people i have spoken too are just afraid of the fact they won't understand the process.
I will try and highlight as best i can and inline with my own and the collective experience of others.
What to Expect
There is no sure fire way of knowing exactly what is going to happen.
Let it be assumed that you have sent all your forms to the correct place and called the Court to check they have received them with plenty of notice of the hearing. Also it is worth calling the day before to ensure that your ex's Solicitor has put forward a File 4. This a total track (index) of the Case ready for the Panel. It is often a tactic of Solicitors knowing they are going to lose to not submit these to the Court, thereby forcing an adjournment (usually 8wks down the line).
Firstly the Defence will come to you with some last ditch attempt at making an amicable agreement or using an increase in contact to try and divert you away from your intentions. While i should say ignore them, it is certainly worth giving their position some thought as often, if you have overpitched you can walk into the Hearing and an Order can be made almost immediately. For example, you may have requested 3nights and half of all holidays... instead you may be "offered" 2nights and half of all holidays.
Questions you are likely to be asked:
Mr [YOU] what are you asking that we do here today?
This is not a free service, why have you not attended Mediation?
You have attended Mediation why are you bringing this back to the Courts?
If a highly negative statement has been submitted[/] Do you have a defence relating to your actions concerning [PARTICULAR INCIDENT]
How soon are you wanting an Order to come into affect?
What arrangements have you made to support your Contact?
It should be noted, that in a final hearing the Panel will make a decision on the day. This of course may not have been what you have asked for.
What tends to happen is that even in your statement and almost certainly within your ex's is that there is a lot of information that the Panel will just not be considering. Some instances may be flagged up. My example was that my ex had colluded with a Doctor to write a negative statement about me (completely untrue) and upon my telephoning to question the Doctors actions, she had over the weekend contacted my ex (a day before the hearing) to report i had been abusive, threatening and aggressive over the phone. Thankfully having recorded the phone call in front of several witnesses of a calm set of questions being asked and the points challenged to a flabbergasted Paediatrician, the Defence quickly opted to agree with me and have the statement omitted (left out).
There can only really be 4 things a parent should really be asking for at a Final Hearing and as such i'll do my best to cover each one in a detailed Summary:
Overnight Contact
This is often the most common reason for an Application to be made to the Courts. The Courts will therefore focus on your reasons why overnight contact should go ahead, and of course the Defence's reason as to why overnight should not (at least not yet). As the Applicant you should be questioned first by the Defence (a Barrister), fear not, education of Law has sapped this person from moral reasoning... (that's a joke in an otherwise bland thread 🙂 "What provisions have you made", "Why can't overnight contact wait until X is X years of age", "Why can't a trial period begin", "Will [CHILD] not find the surroundings alien", "Will you contact Mum if anything happens"... I'm sure you get the drift.
Increasing Contact Time
Short and sweet, the second biggest reason for Contact Applications to come to the Courts. The Defence will in this be little, and often the Defence may consist of nothing more than "This affects X's routine". You need to be smart and say how children can easily adapt to new routines, and likewise you plan to do X activity with them on this Contact.
Shared Parenting
An Application for Shared Parenting usually on a two week rota to follow: Wk 1 = 3nts, Wk 2 = 4nts. Common questions are: "Why are you trying to break continuity for [CHILD]", "What happens when [CHILD] goes to High School/Primary School", The Daddy: "Is it not true you are only doing this to reduce Maintenance", "What will you do about activities that [CHILD] is booked onto"... and similar.
Contact Resuming
Often the most pressing one. Assuming you have been an uninvolved Father (by choice or by something of your ex's making) you will need to be prepared for the real heavy questions coming from the Defence:
"You have not had contact in [TIME], will this not confuse [CHILD]"
"From the last hearings when contact has happened [CHILD] came away not wanting to spend time with you"
"How can it be guaranteed that you will be involved and not a revolving door"
And some much harsher ones...
Like i say the Questions will all be to do with the reason (from above) why the Application has come to Court. You will get the opportunity to ask questions of your own concerning the particular (above 4) of your application. Now there are many questions you need to ask, but you will need to think on your feet to isolate just the ones that are relevant to the particular. If you struggle, don't worry... the Legal Adviser will be able to ask questions on your behalf to the Defence. As an example the Legal Adviser in my case (who was fantastic) fired off her first question with: "Is it true that Contact is being denied for you to keep control"... I asked a few questions: "What are your problems with the room where she's going to stop", "Would you be willing to talk about routines"... and i found the most thought provoking to be "Why has it taken Court to resolve this issue"... even when i asked my ex directly "Why?" she was defiant and fought to the last to stop anything more than my few hours from happening.
What Next
Once the questioning has happened, the Bench will usually make a statement to be addressed to the Court (inclusive of all in their) that they will look at the main points of the Childrens Act 1989 to which they are bound, etc. They will then set a deadline for the Hearing to resume.
Listening to the Outcome
You will be expected to stand to listen to the directions of the Court. There may be concessions here and there... but you should hopefully have been granted something similar to what you sought.
Once this Order is granted... you need to give yourself a pat on the back. You will have made some headway and secure a footing for your Child/Children. On another issue, it is worth remembering that when a child reaches 11-13 years of age... they will come to their own decisions about who and where they want to spend time. Often voting with their feet. It is important to ensure regular contact to support and continue with Contact into the childs teens and finally to adulthood.
A Child when young who has little interaction with one parent is not likely to have much contact with them when or as they get older. Those parents who are and have been involved from an early age will find that often Contact will increase as the child gets older. In some cases, when able to make their own choice, a Child will opt to live with the other parent. If you find yourself in this position, i would expect you (having known what it is like without contact or reduced contact) encourage your Child to still see their other parent. This is healthy for the Child, you and also puts you on the footing to being a brilliant parent.
Hi Yoji
This looks like a very comprehensive guide - are you a lawyer or have you just been throught the process yourself?
Hi Mario,
Not a lawyer but class myself as pretty clued up on the process from going through it myself, which of course spurned me into further reading, books, family law, reports, speaking to other people (lots of them)...
Hopefully it will be of use to somebody somewhere 🙂
Thanks for Stickying so quickly 🙂 )
Hi, yoji's probably the best person on here to answer this so keep checking back here. You could also give the children's legal centre a call, their contact details are on the bottom of this page.
Hi hughes,
please see the C100 guide it explains where/how to send the forms under what circumstance.
For example some solicitors call to say that you must not contact their client directly and only go through themselves etc.
Hi Yoji
My son was told 7 months ago by his ex that she had given birth to his son, he is in the navy and managed to get paternity leave to try and see his son, his ex wouldnt let him however much he tried. He has managed to get in touch with mediation and they have got in touch with his ex but she refused, he has now filed papers with the court and is attending court on thurs 2nd Feb. I have read through all your info and am worried, he is not a very organised person, he is 20 years old and from the start has stated that he wants to see his son, is prepared to accept responsibilty, he feels he has missed out on the beginnings of his sons life, he is very passionate about it, which is good but he does not communicate very well and that worries me when he goes to court, I dont no if he will say the right things. I dont get to see him very much as he is based away but I will try and get all his documents and sort it out before we go to court. Do the courts understand when someone is representing themselves that they are nervous or is everyone just another number to them?
Hi Jules
The courts are very mindful that people who represent themselves are going to be nervous, and will make a good allowance for this. However, you do need to be aware that court time is quite valuable, so being disorganised and wasting time in court isn't going to go down well at all. Your son needs to do his research properly and be organised on the day (a large lever arch folder, divided into sections, with post-it notes to allow easy access to the important points, plus writing a summary sheet of all the salient points for his own use is a good starting point.
As a matter of interest, do the forces have their own family lawyers who can represent him in court?
Hi actd
Im hoping to get hold of all his information this week and will sort through it for him and get him organised. He has tried to go through the navy but they weren't much help, they gave him time off for paternity leave but then passed him over to citizens advice who were fairly helpful, he cant get legal aid as he earns too much.
Hi Jules
Thanks for answering that. Since he doesn't have a solicitor, if you have any specific questions, post them on here and we'll ask the legal experts from CCLC to assist.
Thanks actd
Never had any dealings like this before so its all new to us. My son is a typical 20 year old when it comes to organisation and as he doesnt come back very often its difficult to get all the info out of him.
He hasnt had to get the court summons to his ex, the court did that, what happens if she doesnt show up? she refused mediation.
The court don't like people not respecting the authority of the court - she would have to have a good reason not to turn up, and even then the court would really expect her to give advance notice so a new date can be set - all she could do would be postpone the date. If she persistently refused to turn up, then she can't put her side of the argument and it's far more likely that your son would get the order he's asking for. However, realistically, I can't see her repeatedly not turning up as it's far more serious than refusing mediation.
Just want to say thanks for taking the time to write the guide. I've been split up with my ex wife for 18 months and during that time she's stopped me seeing my kids for 5 months in total. Between bills and the CSA I couldn't afford to go to court. I found out a few days ago that I could represent myself. I've completed the C100 form and I'm submitting them to court tomorrow. I think I understand the process roughly of whats going to happen now. Thanks again
hi and welcome
Keep us informed of how you are going (and thanks for the appreciative comments to yoji), if there's anything you're stuck with, you can usually get help here, and as you are representing yourself, we can also call on the experts at CCLC to give advice.
Thank you so much for this guide! It is fab and has really set our minds at rest! My ex partner moved with no notice 2.5 years ago and refused to disclose her or my sons new address. I understand 2 1/2 years is a long time not to see my son but this has been through no decision of mine. Before she moved my son and i had a very strong relationship with staying contact every alternate weekend etc.
It took me approx 18 months to find out my sons new address and since knowing this and the area he lives I have been able to find out through the local education authority where he goes to school and am in the process of building a good relationship with them and supporting my sons education from a distance.
I have sent countless letters to my ex's solicitor asking for contact to be reinstated, asking for reasons why contact was stopped, reasons why i couldnt know my sons address etc and my own proposals for contact to be reinstated however all of my letters have been ignored by her solicitor.
I had a solicitor acting on my behalf for approx 9 months where letters were exchanged and my ex agreed for me to start sending my letters to my son via her solicitor. I did this for 4 weeks and was then asked again to stop this. I am no longer claiming legal aid as I received a pay rise of £30pcm which put me above the legal aid bracket!
It was only recently that I have been informed that I am able to represent myself and until reading this thread have not known where to start! My current partner has been amazing and as you have informed she has put me a bible together including everything from police reports (ex's violent behaviour) solicitor letters and what contact I woudl like to receive.
My only question I have as we are filing the C100 on Monday coming is do you suggest i write my ex's solicitor one last time prior to filing suggesting 1 session of mediation? and if this does come about can i then proceed with the contact order to have the mediation agreement put into an order? i hope this makes sense? I dont want to file until I am in a position to stand in court and say that I have done everything physically possible to re-establish my relationship with my son.
Also it states on the C100 that all evidence (oral and written) must be submitted at the time of filing the C100......... what type of evidence does this include? and if it is not filled at this time does that mean I cannot use it at a later date?
Thank you for any help you can give me! :unsure:
Hi Actd
Just an update, you would not believe!!! When my son finally got the summons to his ex she then turned around and told him there was no child! He has spent over 7 months thinking he had a son, she sent him scan dates which he tried to go to, scan pictures, she had money and clothes for the baby out of him and his friend...at no point would she let him see the child and apart from going round and breaking down doors there was no chance, so he decided to go it the right way after taking advice. we still went to court after she emailed and told them that he was delusional that there was no child. Why would he pay out for mediation and court costs if he was as he certainly couldnt afford it. The court were good they appreciated we went and advised us to withdraw the application, they asked my son how he felt...he doesnt no, he thought he had a child, i have had him in tears on the phone thinking he was missing out on his childs life. They have assured us that it will all be kept on record in case she does this to anyone else. She told him she was pregnant to get him back then kept it going when he wouldnt out of spite..how can someone do that!!! We finally got her to admit it and recorded the phone call which the courts said we should keep...she then calmly said..'so we ok then can i text you later maybe we can meet up' !!!!!!!!! We informed the police about this as even the navy had given him time off for paternity leave but however much they tried there was nothing illegal that she had done, just morally.
What more can I say except thankyou for the advice you did give me even though it proved pointless in this case and at least i no where to send anyone if they do need this type of advice.
Hi Jules
whenever I see a posting starting "you would not believe", I think "I probably would" - but yours is one of those rare ones that really is beyond belief. I can't even console by saying it's all turned out for the best, because it sounds like your son would make a good dad and was looking forward to being one, and that's been taken away from him (for now anyway). I'm sure he appreciates what good support he's had from you - in my case (completely different circumstances), that was one of the things I appreciated very quickly when the whole of my family rallied around. 🙂
thankyou, yes he would have been a good dad and i no that one day he will. I and the rest of my family would support him whatever, i know that is so important.
Hi
First of all I would really like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to yoji for taking the time to write this extensive guide, it is such a Godsend - truly. The whole site/organisation is doing a fantastic job for a really worthwhile cause. We checked out fnf but are very gald we found you.
My husband is in the process of filling out the C100 to get it filed at court asap. We have got to this point slowly but surely after not knowing where to go after realising there was absolutely no chance that we could afford legal fees to go to court and that that was the only way he'd be allowed to see his son.
I was wondering if you know how long it takes once the papers are filed and also if once they are filed the ex- wife has to come to court, etc, even if she moves to Northern Ireland? If not we may have just found you a little too late. We may need to come back and ask further questions if we get stuck.
Either myself or my husband will be posting on here from now on and we will try to keep you updated as much as possible, after all everything learnt from one experience could be useful to someone else.
Hi and welcome to the forum
Yoji is probably the best to answer this, but I'll ask CCLC to pop on as well and comment.
Could you give us a bit more background to what has been going on?
Thank you for your reply.
My husband split from his son's mother (they were married) when he [son] was under a year old (he is now 5 nearly 6). They lived in the same town five minutes round the corner from each other for a year or so and then she decided that she was moving with the child 70 odd miles away. My husband still continued very regular contact with his son and pretty much without incident until December 2009 when ex-wife started to mess around with access times over the Christmas period. In time, we moved for my husband's job which put further mileage between them. He then asked if arrangements could be made for son to come and stay with us which were met by a solicitor's letter and thereafter it's been solicitor's letters and emails but no contact except via phone for a few months until ex decided she was going to change her number.
The last time he saw his little boy was at the beginning of feb 2011 and that was only because son was at his paternal grandparents house for the weekend.
We have obtained info via various sites on the internet that ex has changed child's school (possibly surname too), is to be married within the next few weeks and will be moving to an army base in NI by the end of the summer. We are terrified that once they go we will have next to no chance of seeing this little boy ever again and that the new man in her life will seek PR and/or adoption and she will somehow manage to convince the powers that be that she can't contact my husband in order to get his consent.
Hope you understand what I have been trying to say. I know in parts it probably sounds quite erratic but obviously it's a very complex and long story and I was trying to get the main points out whilst not going on for too long.
Dear goonergaj,
Thank you for your query.
How long the court process will take will depend upon several factors, namely how busy the Court is and how complicated your court proceedings become. Once the C100 has been filed it will be 4-6 weeks before the first hearing takes place (again this is dependent on how busy the Court is). The whole Court process regarding contact issues can take between 4-6 months, although it may be either longer or shorted. There are many variables which will affect this. Given that it is been quite some time since direct contact between your husband and his son took place it is likely that contact will need to be build up over time, to give the child time to get used to contact and get to know his father again. This may mean that there will be a number of court hearings, as contact takes place and then the matter goes back to court to hear how contact has been going and whether it would be appropriate to increase contact.
Your husband has parental responsibility for your son and he has not lost this simply becuase there has not been contact or because he has remarried. Because he has Parental Responsibility should mum wish to enter into a Step Parental Responsibiity Agreement with her new husband, your husband would have to be contacted to give his consent. Should mum apply for a Step Responsibility Order or adoption, your husband would have to be located and invited to any court proceedings.
Moving to Northern Ireland would require your husband's consent. If mum goes without your husband's consent then your husband should seek the asisstance of family solicitor in this regard.
You should file your application in England as that is where the child is currently resident. In general court proceedings take place close to where the child is living. Should mum move to Northern Ireland she may request that the court proceedings be transferred to Northern Ireland. The laws in Northern Ireland are slightly different to England. Should mum move to Northern Ireland or proceedinsg be transferred to Northen Ireland it would be worth contact the Northern Ireland Children's Centre on 028 90 245704 for further advice.
We hope this information has been of use to you and wish you well as you take this matter forward.
Should you wish to discuss your situation further please do contact one of our legal advisors via our webchat which can be accessed on our website www.childrenslegalcentre.com between 9am and 6pm.
Yours faithfully
The Coram Children’s Legal Centre
Thanks very much for that info CCLC it has indeed been very useful, however I'd just like to clarify a few things. When we first went to seek advice from a solicitor around the time this all started we were told that mum would need to come to the area we live for court because that was where we would be filing (we live in east anglia region, she lives in Kent), were we then misinformed?
My husband's consent will not be sought on this move as mum wants no contact at all with him and is trying to eradicate him completely from son's life. As I mentioned she changed her number, changed the child's school and also shut down an email address we had for her. We looked at getting a prohibited steps order but weren't sure whether or not it applied to NI as that's obviously still part of the UK.
Is it correct that the fees for the contact order and prohibited steps order would in total be £400, do you know? And also we weren't sure if the application fees were all we have pay for the entire case? We can't find any literature that would suggest otherwise, but we are quite uncertain.
Sorry I know you said we could contact you via your website but neither of us are available during those hours for the next few days and we are trying to move forward with this and get as much info as quickly as possible whilst we're getting everything together. I'm sure we shall be contacting you via your website in the not too distant future. 🙂
Thank you once again for your advice and I would be very grateful for any knowledge you have on the points I've raised
Dear Gooneraj,
It is correct that court proceedings take place where the application is filed. In this regard mum will be expected to attend the Court where you file the application. However, it is possible for a party to apply to have the proceedings transferred to another court, this sometimes happens where the court is not local to where the child lives. The proceedings are then transferred to a court local to where the child is living. If there is no request to transfer proceedings, or the court does not grant such a request, then yes, mum would have to travel to the Court you have filed with.
Northern Ireland, whilst a part of the UK, is a separate legal jurisdiction. A resident parent is able to move within England and Wales and therefore Northen Ireland would require dad's consent, and a prohibited steps order could be put in place in regards to a move to Wales.
If you are representing yourself in court the only costs you will have will be the application fees (£200 per application). Mum may apply for you to pay her costs but this is not commonly granted in family cases.
If webchat is not convenient you might prefer to contact our child law advice line on 0808 8020 008, open between 8am and 8pm.
We hope this information has been of use to you. Please do contact us again should you have further questions.
Yours faithfully
The Coram Children's Legal Centre
Yoji (or anyone else that may have this answer),
When you meet with the defence (in private you say), are you allowed your support to sit in on the meeting? Or is it literally just you and them?
Thanks in advance.
Hi
Might be worth ringing the CCLC on their freephone number (probably Wednesday before they are open again) just to follow up their posting and get an answer to your question on this one, unless anyone else gives an answer before then.
Hi gooneraj,
Its up to the other legal team if they are OK with this. Its more or just as likely that they may have an additional person in.
Where the line should be drawn is where other family members (of both sides) who may be vocal are not in meetings. This can avoid confrontation and escalations in viewpoints 🙂
Hi,
Thanks for the replies. Please could someone tell me if "meeting the defence" and the "first hearing" are done on the same day or separate days?
Hi gooneraj,
Yes meeting the defence usually happens at every hearing, from first to last. It should be noted that it doesn't "always" happen mind. Barristers are far more likely to meet, a Solicitor on the other hand may try and avoid it (from my experience).
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