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Where to start?
I recently returned to Court in Jan this year, the reason being that arrangements Order was becoming stale, I had asked for an additional time in summer from a week to 12 day to eventually 16 days, over a period of 2 years.
Nothing to extreme, my ex wife off course opposed this. Went to magistrates court who were very sympathetic and couldn't see what the issue was with granting this.
My ex had tried to file a late statement with various witness statements etc, this was disallowed as it was late. I did get to read it though, the long and short was a reduction of time from 2 weekend stays a month to 1 visit a month in her home area and I wasn't allowed to take my son back to my home, the long and short was reduce everything as much as possible. The hearing was re arranged with the original judge
.
The day before the hearing with the judge, I received a statement, even though I had informed the Court that it was late. The long and short was the statement had been changed totally and now she agreed with everything [censored].
The day in Court, was basically the judge bullocking me, even though I had tried to mediate and so had my wife, it was my fault. The arrangement Order was passed with basically what I had requested though. One concerning thing I had with the Judges was the off the cuff remark that he made, he said that sometime in the future my son (who is 6 years old now) may not want to come with me in the future as he may want to go out etc, I took that comment on board , yes i can understand that when 10- 11 years old plus etc.
The first contact after the hearing, pick up for contact was a nightmare he didn't want to come, he did come and enjoyed himself but there was something going on.
The second contact, he didnt come at all, to be honest it was pantomime, my son was playing up, ex wife played up, my son was rude so tried to tell him off, ex wife did nothing and just held his hand. To top it off the ex father law starts getting aggressive with me, waited an hour and half outside and had to go home by myself in utter despair.
Next contact was ok, but this was the longer Easter stay, but my son had started saying that "mummys says im missing rugby and parties, when I see you".
I have tried to enrol my son in clubs such as Rugby, but I have had this " mummy says I cant play Rugby in two different places, because it's not allowed". I have sent and email about this restriction placed on Dylan, and her answer is that he will train differently and that wont be good for him!! All these concerns have been placed at her feet, and she has brushed them off.
On a side note my ex wife has even sent me emails saying that I shouldn't call my house his "home" as he only has contact with me.
There is a period of contact once a year that she can cancel, but this weekend must be given back. I have suggested places that the weekend can be placed but she wont allow it, she has also placed her own self imposed limit that I cant have my son in 2 consecutive weekends. To further fuel this, she has texted and emailed saying that she doesnt agree with that part of the Order.
To top this off, when i went to school to pick my son up, the one and only time i get to this. My son didn't want to come, the head teacher and deputy were amazing.
What had happened was my son was asked in the morning was he happy by the teacher, he said yes as he was staying over his nannies and friends house on the Saturday, When he friend was asked he said he was happy as my son was coming over to sleep over. This raised alarm bells for the teacher as they knew my son was with me, when he was asked by the teachers, my son replied "mummy says if I don't go with daddy I can have sleep overs with nanny and my friends". This has been recorded by the teachers.
My heart was broken, my son was confused as he though he had done something wrong, it was a horrible situation. After my sons head teacher talked to him, he was happy to come with me, it seem my ex wife had all prearranged this. My son behaviour over weekend was ok, no real issues but he was off with my wife and all he wanted to do was be clingy with me. He had a lovely time apart from this.
The issue now is that, I have kept this quite to my ex wife and see how she responds. I have waited a week and now she is once again suggesting no overnight contact and all contact should be were she lives.... what a surprise.
My concern has been my wife agreed to the Order and then impose her own rules on it as soon as we get out of Court. What I knew has now been proven independently by the school that my son is being cohered in to breaking contact.
In back history, this will be the second time that I applied for an enforcement Order and nothing happened then!
Is this enough for an Enforcement Order?
Or does any one have a suggestion to move thing on, as this has been going on for 6 years now, and I must be in to 40+ Court appearances!
Sorry for the long introduction into the story.
Also I think is relevant is money.
I have recently changed from CSA to CMO, I tried to offer her the same money that she was receiving under the old arrangement, bearing in mind I have never failed to pay and always been on time. She insisted that I should go through the new system, so I did, I ended up with a reduction in payments.
As you can imagine she wasn't happy about having sizeable reduction in money, and since demanded additional money and clothing for son. Bearing in mind I have to pay for clothes that he wears with me.
Also if I get a reduction in stays that my ex can claim more money, my ex is very money orientated.
Hi
I would say that there is enough there to go back for enforcement on the basis that the mother is ignoring or breaching sections of the order, being implacably hostile to contact, causing emotional harm to your son & that you believe this is somewhat motivated by financial changes.
Hi,
You may have grounds for an enforcement order but courts dont like giving them out, be aware of that. the whole process is long and laborious. If you think you have grounds then crack on but dont hold to much hope.
Paul
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