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Hi all,
been to mediation about contact with my two children. my ex , says she is not stopping me seeing them and its up to them . they are 8 and 6. they do not want to come and stay at my place and only want to see me for the day.( they have stayed over before but they stopped last year.) they are 220 mile away and I find this very difficult to have quality time with them.
with my ex not stopping me seeing them what grounds do I have for seeking a court order for access??
not sure if it will help !!
andy
Hi Lugo,
Have you spoken to your children to find out why they don't want to stay?
It is possible to get a court order for them to come and stay but I would try and resolve this yourself, like I said find out why they woun't come to stay and try and work towards over comming the issues. If your ex is right and they are making the decision not to stay, a court order will only damage your relationship with them further.
If the mother is saying she isn't stopping them it's because they don't want too, it's possible that she is having an influeince on how they feel about you, this may take time but try and work slowly to remove their fears of staying with you.
GTTS
the reasons they give are, they like playing with there friends and they miss there mum when they are away.
very weak , I will not force them as that would alienate them more.
the last time I seen them for the day we had a great time but as soon as we got back in the car to take them home they changed from happy fun kids to quiet and with drawn. I believe they didn't want to go home and be seen to have had a good time with there dad.
mediation said similar to what you have said but I don't see anything changing, with her poisoning them.
Caffcas can only get involved if they are ordered too by a court, but I would say that you are right and they are worried that their mum will see they have enjoyed themselves, and they will feel bad about it as they are picking up on her negativity to them seeing you.
I would continue with the day visits and try and see in time if they will come around to the idea of staying.
GTTS
CAFCASS are court advisors BZ and only get involved once a case has got to court. Lugo35 hasnt got to the court stage yet so he cant call on them to help. Its such a difficult one.... How about trying to compromise, what if you were to book an overnight stay in a hotel for you and the kids near where they live...choose somewhere that has a pool or is near an attraction like a zoo or similar to tempt them with. That way if they end up missing their mum too much she's close at hand...just a thought 🙂
thankyou for your replies.
I am continuing with mediation, to see where that goes, n-jane good idea I will try and implement that as part of the mediation,
I have thought bout moving nearer but I have a new daughter and all my family are local so torn about doing that although my partner has family closer to them. big decision as never moved that far before.
andy
pretty sure my ex wouldn't entertain Skype.
but might mention it tho.
good luck with your move mate
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