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Hi I'm new here and also not a Dad. I am a dads mum.
So long story short my son split with his ex about 6 months ago. This split resulted in him relocating about 6 hrs drive away (where his job is based). He has a 3 year old with his ex. Since before she was born he has always worked away/abroad usually for 6-8 weeks at a time. With a 2-3 week break at home.
We have always had a very close relationship with our grandaughter caring for her at least 3 days per week including overnights. Some weeks a lot more than that. Between september and december we had her 55 days and 48 nights out of 88. Multiple times where her parents have went on holiday or breaks away. We also care for his exs older child too. We cover all of her working time.
I have booked and taken her to all medical appointments, registered her for dentists and took her for all appointments.
I have been very supportive of his ex whilst also facilitating contact with him with her permission by travelling with grandchild by train to take her to see him. He has been having her for a week or 2 at a time during his time off. He has also been paying informal maintenance.
When grandaughter is with us we obviously don't ask for any payment, she comes with no clothes, pyjamas, food we take care of all of her needs.
In the week before Xmas his ex decided she was stopping all contact as we argued because she wants grandaughter to start 10 hrs childcare each day as well as being with me 3 nights per week. Meaning she will barely see her between monday and friday. She eventually relented on 30th when she realised she had no babysitter for when going back to work as childcare doesn't cover the hrs needed. To clarify of the 50 hrs she would only be at work 16 of them.
Since this happened I would like something formally arranged as it broke our heart not seeing her over Xmas. We did see her older child at his dad's house.
Does anyone have any advice we are seeing a solicitor next week but wondered if anyone had been there?
Sorry for long post.
hi,
if your son is thinking of applying for court order, this will take higher priority than if a grandparent were to apply, so better for him to apply. solicitor route will be too costly, with final bill being in region of £15k and above.
he can try mediation first and book miam appointment with mediator. costs about £100. if mediation fails then he can apply to court. with right guidance he can self represent. feel free to get in touch if you need help. sending you private message.
He is going to apply however because of work he would be limited to school holidays and ocassional weekends. His job isn't flexible at all when he needs to be away he can't just have the weekend off and obviously the distance means it's a 13 hr round drive to pick her up.
At the moment he can only contact her when she's with us as his ex won't allow video calls or phone calls when she's with her.
I was hoping to have our contact with her sorted irrespective of him, because I know his application will need to be for a less regular arrangement. He also lives in Scotland and we live in England if that makes any difference. I just don't know what sort of chance I would have in court given our relationship and the fact it's been like that since she was born. She actually calls my house home and her mams house mammy's house.
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