[Solved] Got a CAO and still not seen kids!

hi,

sorry to hear your having a tough time with the contact. is your recent cao hearing the final order, or interim? if she really does have covid, she won't be able to stop you seeing your child for much longer. she would need to self-isolate 10 days, and child 14 days, aswell as anyone else that lives with her. so seems like you will have to wait until January most likely. i think all you can do is regularly check with her solicitor, to arrange contact. and last resort is to enforce the order if she keeps messing you around in the new year.

Hi

Thats pretty [censored] and frustrating.

However, instead of worrying about the proof of test provided and asking about more proof and kids being out of school etc which may be what your ex is expecting but also if she really does have COVID may make you appear unreasonable, I would would suggest that you get onto the front foot and do things she is not expecting.

Accept that you are not going to get any contact until Jan, liaise with the contact centre, double check the schedule and add on the missed day to the end. If you are already thinking about and mentioning enforcement then there is the risk this will cloud judgement and approach.

As Bill says, she will not be able to prevent contact for much longer, the key is to ensure that you do not give her any valid examples of being unreasonable or a risk to the kids. Not being considerate about the mother having covid during these heightened times could cause you an issue.

You could engage with her solicitors, express concern, wish her a speedy recovery, ask whether you can post out some Xmas cards/presents to the kids, explain that you will review schedule and add on missed contact to the end and get confirmation from them about the next date you are seeing the kids. I know that considering the circumstances this will be the last thing you want to do however if you are not going to have any contact until Jan then plan and prepare from now and get the solicitor to engage/confirm. They probably will not be expecting this approach from you, if they do not respond then it will add weight to your enforcement.

Just my thoughts... Good Luck...

Hi,

thanks for the replies.

I know it's just another delay and hopefully the contact will go ahead in January. If it doesn't, i will go ahead and apply for enforcement.

Daddyup- I have not mentioned enforcement to the solicitors and won't. she is stubborn so if she sees that, she might just say go ahead and deny any future contact.

I have asked for more evidence anyway... as they are a big family and i am 99% sure it's a lie. they are a big family and a lot of kids meaning, one of them could have symptoms each time. I think requesting a bit more evidence to built trust is good and it might put her off using the excuse again if she knows i will ask for evidence.

I know there is a 1% chance she might have it but i know what's she's been like these last few years and with the lies in the non-mol, i don't trust this to be true whatsoever. Call me skeptical but after what i have been through, and xmas around the corner and getting my hopes up, this is her way of hurting me (as i hurt her by leaving and meeting someone else.).

I've suggested other dates (after isolation) and if the contact is missed in january and no evidence provided (that would be the third one), i will apply for enforcement asap. Any idea how long before i get a hearing? I have the review telephone hearing in April anyway but that would be too long to wait (it is not even a final hearing!)

This was just an interim order, i had to do a few sessions at the contact centre to build up a bond and then Cafcass were going to review/ advise the Court on next steps. there will be nothing for them to review if the sessions never happen.... i just want to see my children and i am worried what she has told them 🙁

hi,

as your case is not over, it would be worth emailing/calling cafcass and telling them that your ex is not allowing contact centre visits to happen, because she says she has covid. and ask them to look into and that your very worried that you may not see the kids until april next year or longer.

I have always used cafcass as a go-between/mediator while hearings are still going on. I think asking ex for more evidence will not have much effect, and will seem like you mistrust her. they often like to dictate and be in control.

Hi,

That's what i did- told the cafcass officer my concerns.

Still not seen the kids but the cafcass officer did look into it... and ex didn't have any evidence as i suspected. and i asked if the kids were really isolating and out of school... they are now but they weren't when she claimed to have symptoms!! not sure what i can do anyway.... we are still trying to arrange the first session... it's tiring!

thanks

When is the next hearing listed for? As you're still in proceedings, you can really apply to enforce an interim order, it's just something you will have to bring up at the next hearing.

Talking to Cafcass can sometimes help. If you have a decent sw there, they might try to help get contact going.