[Solved] Going back to court without legal representation

My daughter is 4 years old. I had a phone call earlier and my daughter was crying for me to pick her up from pre-school later today.

My contact schedule is this week is Thursday until friday, and next week it's Friday to Sunday, it alternates like that each week. When my son goes to bed later I'll have a look at those links and see if I can compose a decent position statement.

I appreciate the help more than you know.

Thank you.

A few key things in court:

1) 2 Ears, 1 mouth = listen to what is being said!
2) Following on from point 1, the judge will or may not give a reason for no contact, a) ask why and b) jot it down so next time you ask the question you can judge X said NO because of X,Y and Z... these issues have elapsed or now I have done X course.
3) When you ask for contact it is written down for the reason of no contact in the sealed order which could help in the next hearing depending upon your situation... or MAY look bad if its DV for example.
4) Their barrister may pull a fast one like mine does and I catch him out now so he doesnt do it - he does the draft order and send it to me, upon recieving the order he takes things out which the judge has said to do... this is why point 1 is so important, LISTEN TO THE DIRECTIONS OF THE JUDGE ITS IMPORTANT FOR THE ORDER. If representing yourself. I have now used this to inform other judges of the conduct of the mothers counsel and when the order is drawn up I inform the judges of his previous behaviour upon writing the draft.

It sounds like you've had a very bad experience in court. CAFCASS and child safeguarding have already written a statement saying I'm of no danger to my child, although my ex says she's not trying to take my child away she used the following in court:

The child should see more time with her dad as a treat.

Also unilaterally changes her mind in regards to when I can see my kid. At one point it was set that I pick her up from nursery every 2 weeks from nursery. She got monk on and stopped this. Then today I get the aforementioned phone call.

Hope you get sorted soon glad dad.

What specifically would you like the schedule to be prouddaddy?

Your current schedule is more or less the standard fall back position that a lot of judges seem to favour, alternate weekends and a weekly midweek, as I mentioned before.

I think if you prepare a schedule of increasing contact you might stand a better chance of getting it accepted. For instance, if you ask for your weekend to be increased from Friday until Monday, that gives you an extra overnight initially...small steps like that are likely to be accepted more readily.

Alternatively you could take the plunge and go for 50/50...

You could also ask that once she starts school, that all holidays be shared equally and Christmas and birthdays shared alternately.

Perhaps what would be more acceptable would be to request that an order is made reflecting that your child "lives" with both of you, which means that effectively you are both resident parents. It's a means of equalising your parental roles.

...you could ask for Friday - Monday every fortnight with a weekly Thursday night so that although you would only see her one one overnight one week the second week the Thursday would flow into your full weekend giving you Thursday after school until Monday.

You could suggest that on the week that you only have her on the Thursday, that you pick her up from school for tea during that week.

....More time with her Dad isn't a treat, it is your daughters right!

That's basically what I have in place now, minus the overnight to Monday.

For her birthday I have her from the night before her birthday until 12 noon on her birthday.

Father's Day with me
Mother's Day with mum

Holidays are nil at the minute

Christmas I'm supposed to have her 5pm on Christmas Day until 10am on the 27th December each year. However, for the past 2 christmases, she has not been sent on the 25th, because "she's seeing her family"...

I guess I could request 50/50 if that can't be agreed, I could propose your idea, Friday until Monday, and when I have her on the Thursdays i pick her up from school and take her on the Friday morning, then her mum would pick her up the Friday afternoon from school? Thoughts? I'm not trying to be greedy I'm trying to be more involved. And yes we know this, my solicitor at the time and her solicitor practically laughed at her and our briefs agreed that they wouldn't even entertain that in the court room.

I have requested her pre-school attendance, as every time I ask my daughter if she's been she says no, as I explained at the start of this thread, her mum took her on "holiday for a week and a bit". It turned out she was at my family's yet it ended up being 2 and a half weeks, but Somehow I still didn't see her for about 3 and a half weeks, all with proof via text and social media screenshots.

Christ my fingers hurt lol.

As she's 4 she will be entering main stream school soon and her regular attendance will be very important.

Starting with the schedule I proposed; with shared holidays and that the order states that your child lives with both of you, you could also suggest that 50/50 be reached gradually, an extra night added each year until it's reached, that way both mother and child have time to get used to each increase and it shows that your are thoughtful to the mothers feelings.

What's important is that the order will state that you are both resident parents, thus equalising your position, no more living with mum and visiting dad.....your child will have two homes... and as a parent who's child lives with you too,you wouldn't need permission to take her abroad on holiday etc.

Just a thought.

Mojo thank you so much for your help and advice. If you don't mind could I send you a copy of my statement by private message to have a read through?

Many thanks.

I've PMd you

So it's been 3 months since the thread was started. In that time I've been back in court, presented my position statement (credits to Mojo) to the judge. He said it was very helpful. Upon that, we all found out my kids Mum never attended the SPIP, needless to say he weren't happy and has ordered her to go on the course AGAIN, the ex never turned up to court, but responded with a letter, openly admitted to not sending my kid "because she didn't want to come", the judge said "she's 4, that won't wash". Anyway an S7 report was needed, CAFCASS has been out etc, awaiting the report.

Now, I am back in court in 7 days time. Is it wise to do a secondary position statement?

Also, the ex has a solicitor this time (that should be fun), the best part is, she has somehow or other managed to claim legal aid, AGAIN! How is this possible when there has been no events that would make her eligible for it?

Mojo if you're reading this, I have sent you an email AND a PM. I'm not sure if you'll of seen them or are just inundated with tasks and have overlooked these. Hope you're well.

Thanks for reading.

Hi there

I've responded to your PM.

There is ONE big issue that I will point out which is what happened to me last time is that the mothers barrister was spoken to majority of the time by the judge whereby I got irritated that I was less effective in putting my points across as he was given a lot more time... this is something I am looking into GETTING EQUAL TIME i.e. the best way.

This is very true. In a previous hearing the same thing happened, my barrister was spoken to most of the time, and she hardly got a word in.