[Solved] Giving up

Id say keep going!
My partner went 2 summers and 2 easters with no contact even with a child arrangement order in place and before that as of when the mum wanted him to have contact. She reported him for assualt and domestic violence etc and his actions had proven to speak louder than words; he sees his child with overnight stay although at the beginning he was only allowed 2 hours on 1 day in 2 weeks at an agreed location where the mum was present and refused to have either of them out of her sight and intervened whenever she felt.

It feels a right struggle but actions are louder than words so those single hours here and there make sure you have fun and bond with the kids and hopefully your actions will show you can have an interim order in the near future - at the end of the day the courts dont want to push the children into interim contact without full knowledge so the easy option is to say you have to do single hours to build it up and prove your not this violent person! (although i dont agree with this)
Having said that, it does get all too much at times, i mean my partner can hardly speak about it which is why im on here on his behalf and to support him so you have us and others to speak to - and if you still want to walk away no one is judging, just be sure before you make that decision
All the best

At next hearing i'd be asking for a Finding of Fact if you can prove all her allegations to be lies!

Do what you have to do for your own sanity. My ex partner has fought for 4 years. He’s lost his job, his home, me (his choice though), he’s in debt, has mental health issues caused by this case, his life is miserable and he’s still not got any contact. He loves his children dearly but like you feels that he’s putting them through too much when ultimately his ex will always have custody and will keep trying to turn them against him. Four years ago I would have said fight on but the system sucks, even when a court finds that the mother is an alienator nothing is done. Cafcass are biased and ineffective, the legal aid system means innocent men are being given non molestation orders left right and centre. If the mother is determined enough, she doesn’t even need to be that clever, she can play the system like a pro.

I can vouch for that Harli. I just watched the following video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ougMf7FpDP8

It's called "Stop the war on dads"

Before my ordeal started I would have looked at a video like this and just thought, ah it's someone with an axe to grind. But now I've seen the truth. I've seen outright lies by cafcass and the barristers that represent them. Evidence completely ignored or used against the father. The tactics employed by the court system are subtle - and without legal aid or a solicitor you don't even realise what's going on. I've even presented irrefutable evidence in court only to have exactly the opposite said by a judge despite the fact that he can see the evidence in front of his very eyes.

What Harli is trying to say I think is, you're not alone. So many of us are going through [censored] because of the policies and practices set up by our governments and the courts. I think ultimately it boils down to fuelling an industry where there is a lot of money to be made.

For every person that gives up and walks away, that's one less person who will stand up to what's going on. More father's relationships with their children destroyed. In the past two and a half years I've been a member of DadInfo and I hardly ever see a father saying that he's won his battle. Of those that do, even a smaller percentage win shared access or complete residency.

I saw my children recently and they were both saying things like "play with me", "no, play with me". They get so little time with me but I try to make the most of what time we do get together and to have fun with them. It breaks my heart and for that reason I will keep fighting. I know everyone's situation is different. Some dad's get more time, some less, some none at all with their children.

Keep going if you can find the strength. If you can't then noone here is judging you because we all know what you're going through.

Hi There,

My advice is to fight on for as long as you can, only give up when you have tried all you can to get where you want to be, at least that way when you are having a bad day and missing your kids, you know you did all you could.

I talk from experience I had a battle with my ex, and it resulted in me stopping seeing my son, I went 5 years with no contact, my view was always that I hoped that when he was old enough to make his own decisions we would make up for lost time.

I have recently started seeing him again, for me it has worked, but you have to keep in mind that it may result in never having contact with your children.
GTTS