[Solved] Further breaches - will this ever end??

A compromise would be to suspend overnight contact...I can see this is a dilemma for you and it's admirable that you are so thoughtful of his relationship with his mum. You would still need to. Write to the court/solicitor and let them know what you've decided and why.

Thank you both, your support and encouragement has helped endlessly.

I have decided to give the solicitor to the end of today to respond to my email from yesterday. If he doesn't respond then a direct letter will go to the mum, an email will go to the solicitor and an email to the court advising that unless we receive an assurance that the boyfriend will not be there then contact will be suspended until further notice. I will also include that it will be her that should she wish to enforce then she will need to take me back to court and do that. in doing this it will give me the opportunity to explain why I have suspended contact.
So, basically they have until the end of today. Her solicitor is [censored] though and only replies literally when he wants to. There were significant reasons for which the judge agreed with me as to why the boyfriend should not be there and they still stand. I do not want to add further strain to my sons and his mothers relationship but this is all her doing. She will flaunt the order and do exactly as she pleases. I am just so thank fully that myself & my wife instilled that telling the truth at all times is a good choice. He knows where his loyalties lay, thats for sure!

Good luck and please let us know how you get on, or if we can help.

Best wishes

Hi

I've moved your post here and removed the copy of your original post from it, as it makes sense to keep it all together rather than jumping around the forum. I suspect your ex will probably go back to court to get contact re-instated, but on the basis of what you have said, I would argue that contact should be supervised in a contact centre rathe than at her house for the moment - that way her boyfriend can't be there, and your son will feel in a safe environment.

What I don't understand is why your ex was so stupid to have him there - it wouldn't have taken much for him to go down the pub or somewhere while contact was taking place.

Thank you for moving it 🙂

I don't understand either. I am guessing he has moved back in. Still if that were the case and she had of returned to court to try and get the order amended before they went down that route it would have probably have looked more favourable than hiding it. The order was drawn up before he had moved back in so in hindsight she should have stuck to it. Unfortunately we are not talking about abnormal person. She does not like being told what to do and instead of that thinks that she can get away with it. It really was the last resort stopping contact but if I don't where does it end?! She will know that she can keep getting away with it and doing as she pleases.

I had hoped that she would change for the sake of our son but the only person she is interested in pleasing is her boyfriend sadly.
I'm guessing they can't return to court until I have breached it so by the weeeknd I am expecting them to go back and try and enforce contact. Initially when proceedings began her solicitor tried saying there was a 6 month waiting list for a contact centre which swerved the judges decision on that. I guess it wouldn't do much harm to ring around a few close to me and see what sort of waiting times they have.

Definitely worth doing that - if you can get confirmation that they have a space ready (even better, if you can get that from a couple of different contact centres), then you are making it easier for the judge to agree with that.

Here's a link to the national association of contact centres website.... might be helpful.

www.naccc.org.uk

I wouldn't stress too much about suspending contact, you are putting the safety and well being of your child first, that is your priority and the court won't penalise you for it.

Thanks Mojo. well as predicted the solicitor has taken it back to court.
Mother is still saying he wasn't there this time, son is adamant even with more clarity than before that he was.
Mother has suggested that I have fabricated it and son has lied.

I am just in process of doing a short statement as its an emergency enforcement to be heard this week... at least then I can hand to judge before the court.

Hey Sporadic

Unbelievable!

Good luck with your hearing, please let us know how you get on.

Definitely write a short position statement to hand in when you arrive at court and do your homework on contact centres if you think that's where it may head for now.

Keep posting and we will do all we can as always.

Thanks Yoda. The solicitor has sent me a copy of the application to court so I'm presuming it's a with notice one. I have informed him I am away (out of the country) all of next week. What's the betting the court hearing is next week?! Is there any way I can change a court date if so? Or would that look bad?
They have asked for it to be heard by Friday of this week so only time will tell I guess.

If you're away, you're away. Your solicitor would need to advise the court of this or you could try to contact them yourself. The court wouldn't expect you to cancel a pre booked holiday.

All the best

Thanks Yoda, I made her solicitor aware of the dates that I cannot be there but that is next week, he has asked for it to be heard before Friday of this week.
I don't have a solicitor, I am self repping.

I am glad to hear that because she has already cost me £270 for a weekend booked for me and my wife when she didn't show up.