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Hi,
My former has had 3 partners which have been introduced to our children and they have seen her in bed with 2 of these in 9 months.
I raised it with the social worker today who has told me that he has no concern over this.
Am I being unreasonable or daft?
I think this sets a poor example to our children and doesnt account for the fact that they become attached to these partners and I dont wish them to be upset.
Regards,
Dave
No, I would say your concerns are perfectly reasonable.
I may be old fashioned - I've been married to my wife now for 11 years and together for 13 years and I don't think that any of our children have ever seen us in bed, and we were engaged (admittedly that happened very fast) for 3 months before my children were introduced to her.
Hi Dave,
I personally agree with both you and actd on this one.
3 partners in 9 months would be very disruptive to the children, especially if they are introduced to these partners and allowed to build an attachment.
My current partner and I got together quite quickly (having known each other through work) but even then we were very careful to take a steady and structured approach to introduction to the children.
Unfortunately it would appear that SS are looking at it as a "not your concern" kind of deal. It's your ex's relationship, not yours blah blah.
I think you're right to raise it, and if it were me I would re-raise it and at least ask that it be put on file... at least then your concerns are there in black and white.
My personal view is that it creates a potentially flippant approach to relationships which the children may pick up on and consider "the norm" on the other hand, with your support, they may just grow up and realise that their mum was not all that great a relationships.
BD
Hi,
Thanks to you both for your responses.
I did tell the social worker that I dont care who she sees and that it is the impact on our children that I was concerned about. I explained that as a role model it was a poor example to set and that attachments to these people were a concern.
He even said to me that "its the 21st century Mr R"
My only response was "Wow, I cant believe that you just said that"
I am expecting a response via mail in the next few days and will pick this up with him again.
He keeps telling me that he is looking from a child protection perspective and I tell him that I am looking at it from a what is "best" for the children.
Thanks again!
Regards,
Dave
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