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Hi there
I wonder if I can share some of your knowledge on the below:
I have 2 small kids and I'm named on their birth certificates as their dad. I split up from their mum after 5 years at the beginning of 2010 and although she has never been particularly communicative to me personally (hates my guts springs to mind!), we have had family agreements in place ever since.
I pay her maintenance on the 1st of every month via a standing order and I have the kids weekly at my parent's house as I now live over an hours drive away (I do and always have done all of the picking up/dropping off). I have never missed or been late on a payment, never pulled a no-show etc etc and I have a great relationship with both kids.
However 2 months ago I moved into a very demanding job role which has meant that rather than having them every Tuesday night and every other Saturday night (6 nights a month) - I am now only able to have them on a weekend (4 nights a month). I gave kid's mum plenty of notice on this and she agreed that I would now collect at 3.30pm on Sat and drop back at 2pm on Sunday.
When I came to collect kids yesterday afternoon, their mum asked if I could start having them any earlier on a Saturday, which I can't (as much as I would like to) due to logistical reasons. She then became quite aggressive (in front of the kids) and started saying that I would have to have the kids more if she decides to go through the courts next year! She told me that she hadn't agreed with the new arrangements - she'd just 'gone along with what I'd said'. I told her that her doorstep was not the best place to be having this discussion, especially in front of the kids - and that if she wants to discuss this to call me and arrange a suitable time. Needless to say she hasn't called me.
I would be grateful if anyone is able to advise where I stand on this - would she be able to go through the courts and force me to have them longer? Would pose serious questions as to whether I am able to continue working as I am if this is the case 😮
Thanks for your help
C
Hi and welcome
This is slightly unusual because most dads are fighting to get increased contact. The simple fact is that a court will not make an order out for more contact than you are able to attend, and to be honest, if they were even to try such a move, then they wouldn't be able to enforce it anyway. They will obviously encourage as much contact as possible but they do realise that there are practicalities that have to be met. I wouldn't worry in the slightest about this, as long as you ex doesn't try to cut contact down at all.
Hi there Chris and welcome 🙂
I agree with actd, a court cant force you to increase contact if you have work commitments. Its unfortunate that this has had to happen but at least you see them every weekend.
If you feel that you cant talk things over then perhaps you might think about trying Mediation. This is where you would both attend and with the guidance of a trained mediator, talk through the issues and come to an agreement that you're both happy with. Heres a link ~
www.nfm.org.uk
Good luck with it 🙂
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