[Solved] Flouting the contact order (AGAIN) - help !

As it was only 4 weeks ago it might be worth writing to the judge that granted the order then and explain that she is already in breach and ask that it be brought back before them. It seems unfair that you should have to pay for another separate application.

its becoming very tedious and a bit of a joke.

So I will have been denied access to my daughter for 14 days now

I even had the police go round to do a welfare check, as i have no idea what / where /whom my daughter is with/doing

the police wont help, everyone just says go back to court

BUT ive done that.

I have been in and out of court for 5 years with this

I haave spent over 11k on this, and STILL she just does as she pleases.

It is so unfair.

I do understand, you just have to keep plugging away at it... you can self represent and that would reduce the financial burden.

So what we are saying is.. the court order I have is worthless, as if she breaks it, nobodys going to do a [censored] thing about it

So when I get to actually see my daughter, I might as well just keep hold of her for a month and deny her contact, cos noones going to do anything - right ?!

It is a painfully slow process....we have a member called Dad-i-d who has been going through this process and has plenty of first hand knowledge, his ex is very close to getting some kind of punishment if she breaches again but it's been a long and winding road! He says it can be successful but you need to document everything and get proof that its happening.

we have all the documentation, recorded calls, text msgs, emails everything

she admitted she breached the order infront of the magistrates

I have written proof from her where she has said she doesnt care and will do as she pleases

Why dont the courts care that someone is deliberatly ignoring their orders ?

Do you have a warning notice on the Enforced Order she is breaking?

You should have penalties attached so should the order be broken you only have to apply for the penalties to be applied to her.

A word of warning here though, I tried that earlier this year and had I correctly filled in the Committal Application the judge told her that she would have been given a 3 month suspended sentence for being in contempt of court.

Put it this way it won’t be filled in incorrectly next time and she knows that! If it costs me to get a solicitor to do it correct I will.

But this so far has been enough for her to stick to the court order….that and the dressing down she got off her barrister that I overheard - I was almost literally Pee’ing myself listening to the raised voices in the room at the side of where I was waiting.

Check with the court what form you need for applying for the penalties. I was quoted two different ones by the court and by the CLC (Coram).

Also….why wait?

I used to give my ex too many chances to play fair and its cost me months and months of my sons life. I used to use the “3 strike rule”
Needless to say I don’t now, she gets one chance then the second its back to court.

Yes, the order has the warning notice on it.

the problem is she just doesnt care and thinks she can do as she chooses - and so far she is correct !

Ok yes she may think she can do what she likes but the courts to not take kindly to her type of person breaking their orders. Especially as you have been awarded the enforced order as you obviously were able to prove she had broken the contact order!
They will eventually put things in place to stop her.....and they are doing more and more these days.

The way I see it you have the same three options I had:

1. Do nothing – i.e. let her get away with thinking she can break orders as and when she feels like it and not see your child.

2. Write to your ex and explain that if she continues to break the order you will have no option but to apply to the courts to apply the penalties set out in the Enforcement order.

3. Apply to the courts to act on and apply the penalties set out in their order.

In the meantime collect your evidence and have it ready to provide to the court with the application for them to apply their penalties set out as per the enforced contact order.
For this you will need to list times, dates when where and how she has broken the order and be able to prove these breaches.
Texts, emails, messages in writing, times dates anything you have you will need to show the breaches of the order.

They will eventually put things in place to stop her.....and they are doing more and more these days.

2. Write to your ex and explain that if she continues to break the order you will have no option but to apply to the courts to apply the penalties set out in the Enforcement order.

3. Apply to the courts to act on and apply the penalties set out in their order.

May I ask what sort of penalties these would be? -- Long term I could well be in this position myself knowing my ex.... I hope it's ok to ask this.

So is there nothing I can Do ?

I just have to accept not seeing by daughter and wait and pay for yet another court date ?

http://www.dad.info/dad-talk-forum/legal-eagle/36395-anyone-ever-had-an-enforcement-order-accepted

1. Prison (Suspended sentence)
2. Change of Residence (Transfer the child/children to live with you)
3. Financial penalty – Fine.
4. Un-paid work (Community service)

Its [censored]…it really is and I can’t say it isn’t….we fathers are made to jump through hoops and over hurdles at our expense yet our ex’s only have to make any excuse they think of that day to stop us seeing our kids and they seem to get away with it.

My ex has dragged this out for over 3yrs now and cost my just short of £11k in that time……I’d say that £10k of that is purely down to her lies and false allegations in the first 2yrs since I took legal action. The other is me having to get the legal ball rolling in the first place and having to have a solicitor.
And yet I cannot claim even 1p of that off her as she is not working!
She does however receive £280/mth off me to look after my 6yr old……..i don’t think it’d cost me £280/mth to look after my child at my house!
Oh and she has married the fella she met 2yrs ago and he earns a dam sight more than I do!

Why do we have to pay for our ex’s to live the high life while we struggle with debt !!!! because one of these ex’s could actually be at risk from their ex partner and the courts have to take the “better safe than sorry” approach just in case that father hurts his child or ex!!!

What happen to innocent until proven guilty? No such thing in family law……you’re guilty cos you ex says you are and its up to you then to prove you’re not!

It Stinks pal but it’s the way the system works at the moment……..when the ex’s have run out of rope and road they will find themselves in a corner with a noose around their necks…….they either do what the courts tell them or they face the punishments. And the courts are starting to hand out these punishments.

Search Google (other search engines are available) for “Change of residence cases / case law” and there are several in the recent years.

in the seven short weeks of my sons life I never believed that any of this was possible.... it is 🙁

I feel like I'm being punished too.... Dads are drawing the short straw when it comes to their kids. How so out of order this is!

Had it for 10 years my friend.

every time you think you turn a corner, they hit you between the eyes with something else. Its savage and brutal, but you get used to it, keep your chin up, your nose clean and relish the time you get with your kid.

Jonnybobs, when I went through it all initially, the court appearances the failed mediation, the waiting and yeh the feeling phisically ill as you pull up wondering what they are going to do next. still feel that now, lesser extent but only because i made that decision to not let her bring me down (only after hitting rock bottom and nearly topping myself I will add)

keep up the good fight and dont let her win, do it for you kid man nobody else matters

Its just ssssoooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrating

its crazy 🙁

Had it for 10 years my friend.

every time you think you turn a corner, they hit you between the eyes with something else. Its savage and brutal, but you get used to it, keep your chin up, your nose clean and relish the time you get with your kid.

Jonnybobs, when I went through it all initially, the court appearances the failed mediation, the waiting and yeh the feeling phisically ill as you pull up wondering what they are going to do next. still feel that now, lesser extent but only because i made that decision to not let her bring me down (only after hitting rock bottom and nearly topping myself I will add)

keep up the good fight and dont let her win, do it for you kid man nobody else matters

Defo no one else matters. He's whats keeping me going, (And my family obviously)

Although suicicde has been a thought a few times, i dismiss it because it means that my son has no dad and ultimalty they win... Never will they win. Not while I draw breath.

I haven't written on here for a while, work, court etc...., but I read the forum on a weekly basis.

I feel for you mate. I split with my ex-wife some time ago (well she kicked me out). She played the old card of he's threatening to kill me, he's abusive the same old rubbish! I have been lucky that the Police never took her lies seriously and I have a good network of support.

Now I receive on a weekly basis threatening emails, texts, calls and I just ignore that rubbish. She wanted a contact order in place and that's what I did.

Now unlike her I have to pay for all my court costs, divorce and contact along with just over £300 a month in CSA. I agree with dad-i-did, it would never cost that to look after a child in my opinion, but hair, nails and alcohol are expensive nowadays!

So after many hours with a solicitor and going to court I finally got to see my daughter, BUT I had the same issue with being denied contact making things difficult and with working shift work it makes my time very difficult and she makes it very hard to get a good weekend, but I have kept plugging away, solicitor, school, court, police and now finally things are starting to swing in my favour.

I know that I have a long road ahead, but look at it like a game of chess, she may win some small moves, but if you keep yourself motivated and on the level she will have nowhere to run as the noose gets tighter and tighter!

Jonnybobs I’d change your profile picture….you can clearly see who and your child are….family courts don’t take kindly to cases being talked about in public….we all need the help and advice this and other web sources can offer but if you were to inadvertently mention specifics it could possibly damage your case at court.

I’d also consider editing the posts with the words around the subject of being so down and thoughts of taking your own life….that would also go for any others who have posted similar! If your ex were to see that it could be used against you.

D-I-D --- Warning headed and changes being made 🙂 Many thanks indeed

Well, just to let you know, another C79 form on its way to the court.

Fingers crossed