Flexibility with wife re. 50/50 and school pickups

Hi all

My wife recently informed me she intends to separate from me - she's been having an affair and wishes to continue her relationship with her new partner. I work from home a lot due to my job, so we've always made school drop offs and pickups work for us as a "couple". We've drafted monthly schedules since earlier this year to set out who's due to do the school runs around our respective work commitments and pick up a fair share of days each.

However, since telling me she wants a divorce, I feel a little reluctant to be as flexible with her. Recently, there have been some last minute asks to swap pickups because of her work commitments. This has never been an issue before, like I've said, we arrange a schedule in advance and anything that comes in to work diaries over when we're doing school runs are rejected/rearranged for different times/days whenever possible - but these are typically known about a few days in advance and we were usually able to accommodate by swapping school run days if meetings are a bit of a "must attend" (to keep it fair for both).

So...I'm beginning to feel like she's taking advantage of my availability (she's less flexible with work than I can be), and I have one eye on the future as we've both informally agreed that we want 50/50 responsibility for the children. We still currently live together, 3 months on from her decision to separate (ie. the children are still coming back to the home they've only ever known regardless who picks them up) and if the kids are in an afterschool club, it's being paid for out of our joint account - relevant because she has previously said if I can't pick them up (in her place), they'll have to go in to afterschool club (therefore, at our joint expense). When in this scenario, I have been available to pick up the kids, so have done to avoid the expense.

1. Am I being petty? Do I need to view/approach this differently? I'm still angry for what she did, so my reluctance to help her is fuelled by this.

2. If we formalise 50/50 care arrangements, and she asks for similar flexibility, what do you advise my stance should be. It works both ways of course, but like I've said, she's generally a lot less flexible than I am.

3. After we separate and because of her work commitments, if she is unable to pickup the kids they'll go in to an afterschool club and she'll be responsible for paying for this. However, is this grounds for me requesting more than a 50/50 split? Naturally, I would rather the kids be spending time with a parent than sat in an afterschool club for 1-2 hours. This would absolutely crush her if I suggested this however, and I know the divorce would turn messy as a result.

I just feel a little taken advantage of, and would welcome the views of others who have gone through something similar and maybe settled on a different resolution, or have been able to make flexibility between both work. Thanks.