[Solved] First hearing was a disaster .... please help

Hi There

Unfortunately this is par for the course where allegations are made, the court has to take them seriously because a child's safety is involved.....this is what the S7 is for. It's a welfare report, usually carried out by the CAFCASS officer assigned to the case, unless there has been previous Social Services involvement, in which case a Social Worker may compile the report.

These reports are fairly in depth, they will contact various agencies such as the police and Social Services to see if there are any grounds for her allegations. If the child is of school age then they are likely to speak to the school and if the child is old enough they may also speak to the child about their wishes and feelings.

If there is no proof of the allegations then the court will usually disregard them, this should become apparent at the next hearing once the reports are done and no evidence can be found. The courts are used to "good liars", as long as your lovely dad remains child focused and rises above [censored] for tat with the ex then the court should realise the truth.

First hearings are notoriously hard and often seem to be going against the parent seeking contact but it can and will turn around, he will just need patience so tell him to hold his head up , there are plenty on here that know just how he is feeling and we care! Good luck

Tell him not to worry about any of it, You will find 90% of the dads on here have had exactly the same thing happen to them what's happened in his first hearing, The only [censored] will be that he will not see his child/children for a while until all this is sorted out.

When the ex's make up the usual rubbish DV, child abuse ect the courts and cafcass are cautious as he could be as child abuser they don't know so they usually order a s7 report which is just an indepth report what cafcass do to check whether he is a threat to the child or children they will look at police records, check out to see if there has been anything reported to social services ect to see if there is any truth in the ex's allegations.

It seems that he needs to do some research on the family courts so he is better prepared before he goes into the next hearing then the shock will be reduced and he will know how to work the court system.

Thank you so much for your helpful replies, I have passed them on and I hope they help lift his spirits a bit. His ex did involve social services but they found nothing to support her allegations and as she denied knowing how to contact him and they couldnt speak to him the case was closed. He has spoken to her case worker who confirmed ex didn't attend a follow up appointment but had asked them to write a letter to say he shouldnt see the children which they refused to do as they hadn't heard his side of the story. Sadly the case worker failed to submit her report to the court/Cafcass so it wasn't part of today.

Everything was fairly amicable between them with regards to child access until ex got a new partner and suddenly all these horrible allegations start. I think my poor lovely dad just feels a bit hopeless right now. He's never ever done anything.wrong but she's tired to get him arrested, her relatives have threatened him on his own doorstep, her new boyfriend has made various threats and all he wants to do is see his boys.

You guys are great and I can't thank you enough for your encouraging replies.

Hi,

As already said unfortunately these claims come thick and fast when ex's realise they are losing control, they make things up with the hope they will stick, the agencies involved are very good at spotting made up stories and if there is no proof of any of it and your dad doesn't have any police involment they will see straight through it.

He is in for a long drawn out proccess though and he will need support, you are welcome here for any advice on how to support him and it sounds like your doing a great job, however try and get him to join too so he can see he isn't alone through this and many other people have been through the same or are still going through it, it will help him so much.

GTTS

Thank you for your reply GTTS, I found it very encouraging. I have tried to persuade my lovely Dad to join the forum but he doesn't find it easy to talk about all this. He did read your replies though and they did lift his spirits a little, although he is still pretty down, which breaks my heart. We have decided I will be his voice here if that this OK with you guys. He has a couple of questions that I hope someone can help with.

What sort of questions will he be asked for the S7? He knows he has to keep it child focussed but can he mention how in the past his ex has prevented him seeing his boys using lies and deceit (he caught her out in these lies many times).

Is the onus on his ex to prove DV? there really won't be any evidence because it's all lies, the police and social services both refused to pursue her claims and the non molestation order she obtained ex parte, although it is still enforced because her solicitor lied to him, is varied to allow him to email her about the children (not that she replies) and marked as "no finding of fact". I am not clear what that means or whether it is a good thing or a bad thing,

Thank you so much. all your help is so very much appreciated

Harli,

The most important thing for your partner right now is not to let the fact that allegations have been made break his spirit. He needs to stay strong, stay resolute, stay focused on the fact that the allegations are just that, allegations and made up nonsense. Although false allegations are very hurtful and troublesome in the short term, in the long term they can and will be exposed. In my own situation I came under a barrage of allegations all under the umbrella of domestic violence and abusive parenting, however, not one single allegation was proven during the year long court proceedings. I now have everything that I asked the court for. This should give your partner hope that he too can get what we feels is best for his kids.

In reality, your partner simply needs to refute the allegations made against him. He does not need to get caught up in what the ex says and retaliate or protest his innocence. Simply he needs to state the allegations hold no truth. He does not need to assign a motivation to his ex for making them. He needs to say that they hold no truth, and that is it. In court, the burden of proof is on the accuser. Those who make the allegations need to prove the allegation is true. This requires evidence. And she will need to convince the judge that on the balance of probabilities what she is saying is true.

When you look at it, something happened or it did not. There is no in between. So his ex will need good evidence to prove anything. If its all lies, it will be exposed.

Let's start with the S7. Cafcass will perform background checks on your partner. They will look at his police record, including enhanced checks. They will contact social services and local authorities to see what records they hold on him and what they relate to. In my case the checks on me came back 100% clean. In other words I have never been in trouble in my life. Yet my ex claimed I was a violent lunatic. A judge will look at that and say, "well this guy is 100% clean yet his ex says he is crazy, I don't believe that to be true." It goes back to what I said about balance of probabilities. Evidence says your partner is a good guy. Hearsay says he is not. What is a judge going to put more weight one? Evidence and fact, that is what.

With the S7, your partner will need to talk to cafcass in more detail than he did with the initial safeguarding report. But the same things hold true in both cases. He needs to state his case for why it is in the child's best interests to have contact with him. Forget about trying to show up the ex, he doesn't need to talk about her at all. He needs to keep child focused and on why contact should be resumed and why it should progress in the way he wants it to. You see, if he starts telling cafcass the ex is a liar and this, that and the other, it could likely suggest to the cafcass officer that your partner is angry towards the ex and that hostility exists. He does not want to give this impression. Cafcass will pick up on this, I guarantee you that. He should not give them any reason to tell the court that he is part of the problem. It's fine to say that he has chosen to go to court because he feels the ex is not promoting contact, but I would leave it at that.

Save the issues about contact denial for the next hearing. Prepare a statement that outlines why the ex is not child focused, and what she has done in the past to frustrate contact. If you can prove she is telling lies, that is great. You will expose her in court in front of the judge. I just wouldn't go making accusations to cafcass, as they are very biased towards the mother, and I'm sure would perceive it as aggressive attitude from your partner.

Any questions you have, feel free to ask me. I will do what I can to assist.

Simon.

Thank you for your very detailed reply Simon. I have passed it on right away and I am sure it will reassue my lovely Dad. Your answers confirmed what I thought so I am going to be doing some coaching this weekend in between cheering him up.

Can I just say everyone here is so helpful and I hope I can one day use our experience to help other people here.

As always excellent advice there from Simon, your fella will defo benefit from joining this site himself 🙂

You've had good advice from everyone here. Slim has written a guide to dealing with Cafcass, this is a 'sticky' at the top of the Legal Eagle section, it's definitely worth reading.

There's also a good book called 'The Family Court Without a Lawyer' that's worth a read. It's by Lucy Reed.

http://www.nofamilylawyer.co.uk/

It might also be worth considering attending a Families Need Fathers branch meeting with your Dad, he can get extra support and meet parents in a similar position.

http://www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

Coram Childrens Legal Centre also have an excellent free helpline for legal advice if you have specific questions.

Good luck to your Dad 🙂

Hey when you said CAAFCAS couldn't recommend contact was this this your ex claiming you attacked her or the child?

I'm in a similar situation where my wife has accused me of domestic violence against her that on some occasions the our son has witnessed.

My wife wants to go down the court route to determine access. She has stated in writing for me to have contact with the child but now I'm scared due to the allegations social services will advise against the shared custody I'm seeking.

My argument is that since we are no longer living together there will be no arguments for the child to witness. I have no interest in seeing her again.

Sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. His ex was alleging DV against her, total lies, she never mentioned the children witnessing it but I'm sure she will play that card very soon. My lovely dad has been devastated by her claims, she's a total and utter liar yet everyone seems to believe her, I'm fast loosing faith in justice to be honest. I hope your situation improves