Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, in court very soon first hearing and waiting 4 1/2 months to this point. My ex says I have aggression towards kis no proof clean with all authority's.
Cafcas just recommended normal checks. She has a none proof, contested non mol on me.
All I want to do is see the kids I've asked for 50 50. I presume the court puts this across she will say no what's likely to happen then? My brief is asking for contact. She said to csfcas and the court report she is happy for me to see the kids under supervision of grandparents she has since said to grandparents that's not happening! So told cafcass and court one thing wants to do another.
I just want some guidance of what the court are likely to set up for me regards contact as that is the aim. I was under impression the court sorted all that out on the day otherwise what's the point in going.
Thanks
They won't put a contact order in straight away, you will have numerous hearing and numerous investigations months apart from each other before you can even discuss a contact proposal. In the meantime in the first hearing make sure you ask for Interim contact, incredibly important. Interim contact is contact that take place between now and the final hearing of the child contact order. If you have Interim contact order in place now it will cut out the pain and dehumanising experience of a contact centre, can't stress enough how important it is to ask for Interim contact inthe first hearing.
The first hearing is not about contact. It's about you as a person and how you come across, if you show any kind of emotion, you are the devil. If you don't show enough emotion, you're a robot that doesn't care. They will either do a Cafcass section 7 report that takes 16 weeks minimum or they will set a new hearing for 12 weeks from the date of your first hearing to discuss any facts that you or she has raised as a problem.
50/50 is not what it sounds like. It's actually 1 day a week overnight every week and every other weekend Friday to Sunday. That's not 50/50 but in the eyes of the courts it is, it's wrong but it is.
Expect to come away from the first hearing upset, angry full of frustration because they didn't listen to you and she got everything she wanted and try are just delaying contact because she's lied and they've believed her, it's normal for that to happen. Remember why you're there, you're there for your child and not her, don even mention her. Every single word that comes out of your mouth should be about your child.
It's hard, very hard but remember why you're there.
hi,
so cafcass have had a phone call with you and given you a safeguarding letter? if so what did the letter advise the courts to do? by all means ask for 50/50, and you never know, you may get it. be careful with allegations and do not be tempted to fire allegations back at your ex. this may lead to court/cafcass asking for a fact finding hearing. if thats ordered, it will drag your court process on for few more months. try to avoid that. keep it 100% child focused. also you may need to start thinking about your work and flexibility. if you tell court/cafcass your work commitments are very important and can not do school runs, they may just only give you every other weekend, fri-sun.
hi,
so cafcass have had a phone call with you and given you a safeguarding letter? if so what did the letter advise the courts to do? by all means ask for 50/50, and you never know, you may get it. be careful with allegations and do not be tempted to fire allegations back at your ex. this may lead to court/cafcass asking for a fact finding hearing. if thats ordered, it will drag your court process on for few more months. try to avoid that. keep it 100% child focused. also you may need to start thinking about your work and flexibility. if you tell court/cafcass your work commitments are very important and can not do school runs, they may just only give you every other weekend, fri-sun.
They said...
Complete Safeguarding
The court should have sight of of the Non mol proceedings including statements
The court may benefit from a letter from child's school and gp as she has a behaviour condition to support any additional needs
Following receipt of the above the court will be better placed to determine next steps including if any welfare reports are required
ok, it may speed things up if you can get school/GP to write letters and you can pass onto cafcass/court. if you explain how you are fully capable to meet childs needs and special needs, then that should help your case.
I just want contact any contact to begin with. Will the court give this interim order? How do they work? I just need some hope
do you have a lawyer or are you self-representing? at 1st hearing you can ask for contact in the interim. they may not allow it if your ex tells them you pose some kind of risk. expect there is chance contact will not be given at 1st hearing, and they may make you wait a couple more weeks if they decide to do a welfare report. most likely would be a section 7 report. more info here: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/what-to-expect-from-cafcass/section-7-report/
I am representing myself, I have a family law specialist with me who will speak on my behalf. So if they say no to the interim what happens then? I wait another 8 weeks for another date at court? I've only paid the c100 cost so far. So these court dates just keep going until a outcome at no cost to myself? I'm not asking for any of this.
if court does not allow contact in interim, they will probably ask cafcass to do a welfare report like section 7, which could take 10 weeks or more. they will set a date for a 2nd hearing, and by that date the report should be ready. if you will be self-representing at every hearing, then there will be no more court costs for you, unless you pay for legal advice/documents to be written up. other times you may need to pay is if court orders you to take drug tests or some parenting course, or pay to use a contact centre. hopefully it doesn't come to that.
if court does not allow contact in interim, they will probably ask cafcass to do a welfare report like section 7, which could take 10 weeks or more. they will set a date for a 2nd hearing, and by that date the report should be ready. if you will be self-representing at every hearing, then there will be no more court costs for you, unless you pay for legal advice/documents to be written up. other times you may need to pay is if court orders you to take drug tests or some parenting course, or pay to use a contact centre. hopefully it doesn't come to that.
Thank you so much. I've already volunteered and started courses to counter act some accusations so I've prepared for that. How long does these court cases go on for? I've read 26 weeks maximum is that correct?
if court proceedings finish in 5-6 months then that would be at the shorter end. they take a lot longer now due to the pandemic.
Hearing Midweek, i have a Mckenzie helping me a family law specialist. Just hoping really am that this Interim Contact gets approved or it will be Feb 22 by sounds of it. Cannot go through Xmas like this. Absolutely crazy that someone can make up a load of rubbish with no history with any agencies and get away with it. Took 5 months to get to the first hearing!
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.