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Hey. New here, looking to get some opinions...
I have a first court hearing on 16th Feb for child arrangements. My kids are 13 and 10 and I haven't seen them properly for nearly 2 years, just 2 x FaceTimes a week. Wife (separated) is a nightmare.
Going through the usual process - tried mediation but ex didn't want to attend, so I applied to the court. Cafcass reports etc all positive and they have recommended approx. 40/60 split in her favour, which I agree with. I was led to believe my ex would also agree, but I have just received her statement and she is recommending to keep my contact as is until they 'complete an assessment. Once she is 'satisfied' then she would agree to alternative weekends and one night a week for tea. Her statement is about 90% made up of half-truths, lies and unsubstantiated allegations spanning back 13 years! My statement was 100% child-focussed.
Well, the assessment has already been made by Cafcass and submitted so the court won't order another will they?
She is representing herself in court (no barrister), I have a good barrister who will of course try to negotiate with her.
Basically I'm now worried that we won't be able to agree in the hearing and it will go to a final hearing (legal bills are going to cripple me). If the Cafcass recommendations are fair and I've agreed, will the court look more favourably on this?
@Coops Hi, Im new myself, but just wanted to say sorry to hear what youve been through. But.... its good to know that you remained 100% child focused. Thats what it should be about. Also since your ex did not attend mediation, thats counts in your favour I think, as it shows youve made an effort. This just my impression and what Ive heard reading around.
If you dont mind me asking how much has it cost to get to this stage? Im asking because Im a newbie too and not yet started the court process
Good luck and keep us posted
hi Coops73. So as you have first hearing coming up, I take it that cafcass had initial phone call with you and sent a safeguarding letter? it looks very promising that they made those recommendations at such an early stage.
issue is at first hearing your ex may make a lot of allegations. If court are worried about them, they may decide to order Cafcass to do a welfare report, like a section 7 report. that takes 8-12 weeks usually. or they may go with the cafcass letter and decide no welfare report needed. in that case you could argue and ask for more time with the kids and see if you can reach agreement with ex. if not, then court will likely go with the cafcass recommendations.
you could get a feel for the first hearing. and if it goes to 2nd hearing or more, you could consider self-representing to save on costs. if cafcass reports are in your favour, I don't think you have to worry much.
@gooddad123
Hey man - cheers for responding!
I was lead to believe it would be in the region of £1.5-£5k to get to this stage. It's difficult to tell exactly how much I spent on this (as I also have consent order proceedings at the same time which is costing me), but I spent £500 + VAT - so £6660 - on my barrister (who I used before and she's great) and probably another £500-£1000 on solicitors costs leading up to it.
Hope that helps 👍
@gooddad123
Hey man - cheers for responding!
I was lead to believe it would be in the region of £1.5-£5k to get to this stage. It's difficult to tell exactly how much I spent on this (as I also have consent order proceedings at the same time which is costing me), but I spent £500 + VAT - so £6660 - on my barrister (who I used before and she's great) and probably another £500-£1000 on solicitors costs leading up to it.
Hope that helps 👍
@bill337
Hey man - thanks for responding as well!
Yes, I had a few calls with Cafcass during the process, with 2 different officers. The second one was great and really supported me - she already did her Section 7 report which was non-biased, and she was the one who made the recommendations for the 60/40 split in terms of with whom the kids would stay.
I wasn't necessarily worried about her allegations (she has basically used her statement as a counselling session) but as it's so detailed and long (and mostly untrue) I'm concerned it might muddy the waters a little for the judge.
The thing is, I WANT them to go with Cafcass arrangements as it's fair and equal. Her statement goes completely against what Cafcass have recommended. So basically Cafacass and I are on he same page, but she isn't.
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