[Solved] First Hearing Dispute Resolution advice

Be clear about what you would like to happen.

I think that raising serious concerns about an ex is absolutely the right thing to do, if bad parenting is an issue. However, [censored] for tat or abusive language, isn’t a good idea. If she is a good mum it’s ok to say so.

Keep the conversation child focused, talk about the situation from your children’s perspective, how they will be feeling and what is best for them.

Be amenable and reasonable, let them know that you want to move forward and hope that in the future, you can work with your ex for the benefit of the children.... they like that kind of thing.

Finally... best of luck and do come and let us know how you got on.

Hi,
Just reporting back...

CAFCASS call went a lot better than I expected - more chat than Nazi interrogation! She listened to what I had to say, made detailed notes and was quite sympathetic. Lots of stress disappeared in about 30 minutes.

First Dispute Hearing next...

By the way, any advice for my FDHRA?

Pretty much a hearing to hear both sides of the argument, you'll get to put what contact you want and why and she'll get to put her view across and cafcass report will be there to guide the judge based on their assessment of you both.

if you have to prepare a statement for the hearing then Keep it child focussed, stating why contact is in the best interests of the children and don't slag off the ex or criticise her...keep it child focussed.
same goes for at the hearing, don't get drawn into arguments with the ex or her solicitor if she has one...keep calm...if you don't like something that is being said about you or at you it's them trying to get a reaction out of you....take a breath...take a sip of water to give you a few seconds to think before giving your answer if questions....if it's a statement they are giving then make a few notes and ask to address them once they've finished their speech.

remain focussed on the rights of the children to an uncontrolled life with both parents parenting them as per their human rights to family life.

Very helpful, thank you.

Hi Jazz, my advice would be to record the call and let them know you are doing so as they seemed to make so many mistakes in the writing of their reports throughout my case.

Good luck.

hi, i wouldnt recommend recording calls. as soon as you mention recording calls, you will see how bitter and confrontational every thing gets. you need cafcass on your side. go on youtube and you will find silly recordings and arguments between dads and cafcass lol.

Good advice from Dad-i-d... just concentrate on putting your best case forward, always be polite, don’t interrupt and keep a lid on facial expressions that show annoyance.

You’ll probably be encouraged to reach agreement with your ex, don’t be pressured into agreeing to anything you’re not ok with, but be willing to compromise.

All the best

Thank you!

So, here we go. FHDRA on Monday and suddenly I'm worried. Wish me luck 🙂

How did it go Jazz?

Hi,

So, First Hearing over with. Hours of sitting around in a waiting room - opposite the ex! for a 5 minutes initial hearing.
Basically, the discussion was lead by CAFCASS with a couple of interjections from both sides. The ex made told a few lies, which I will get to address by writing a Position Statement for Court: part 2 in a couple of months.
My advice? Don't worry too much about your first appearance at a FHDRA - it's over in a flash! Nothing to get rattled about.

We have both been asked to attend a Separated Parents Information Programme (SPIP), which I presume is standard. Next comes a section 7 report, which I don't know a lot about, but assume it involves talking to my son too about his needs.

J