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Hi all.
Well had first hearing ...she had solicitor i didn't was representing myself to which the solicitor LOVED .
My ex is wanting me to see my child two wknds a month, sat from 11 return sun by 6 .... I asked for Fri night too as by time get her from pick up point to town/bus station/my house its 12 ....was told no by solicitor .
She said cos my child is due to start school mam won't see her that much so its a no....i pointed out that mam would have her from 3-7.30 til bed every night .
I asked for direct number to contact ex on if emergency and to call child on in week...told no.
I asked about why social services where involved in child's life and it was kept from me....was told i knew about it!
Was told i can't have child on my birthday last wk in Aug as she will b getting her ready for school ....i said i could buy school clothes etc...told no
I asked what steps in place as mum has health problems /learning difficulties /epilepsy and i know that her boyfriend living there unofficially and does a lot for my child.... Said my 4 year old who has speech problems, has been shown how to use phone incase of epileptic fit and told mam is capable of looking after child as no health professional has questioned it.....i KNOW that boyfriend and her mam do majority of looking after my child but can't prove it.
Cafcass recommend that we attend mediation again ....third time.....and that i should have numb for mam .....solicitor suggested email !!
Failing mediation we go back to court in 6 weeks.
Her solicitor has told me if my ex doesn't get what she wants at mediation then she is goin for residency.
I feel like in a worse place now. She was so smug my ex laughing . All i want is to spend time with my child .
Should i get a solicitor now ? is it too late ? First first hearing didn't go great
Did you have magistrates or a district judge?
Don't be despondent, her solicitor can say no, you can attempt mediation and not agree and let the judge make the decisions. Her excuses for your requests are just that, they are not solid reasons for refusal. Bog standard contact is every other weekend, one eve midweek and share of holidays and special occasions.
With regard to the health concerns, this is something I have little experience of, what have Cafcass said about this?
Have you just had a safeguarding letter done? Has a Section 7 been ordered or carried out?
You don't 'need' a solicitor but it's up to you if you feel you would like to take that route. Personally, unless you're struggling to speak, solicitors often cause more delays than moving things along.
There are good resources you can use yourself, Lucy Reed's book is excellent as are her series of videos made for LIP's.
http://www.nofamilylawyer.co.uk/
You could attend an FNF branch meeting where you can get support and guidance from McKenzie Friends and occasionally solicitors.
http://www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
Some CAB branches have family specialists but this is a bit thin on the ground these days.
Coram Childrens Legal Centre have an excellent helpline for free legal advice (if you remain unrepresented)
There are some organisations that offer free representation by trainee solicitors or barristers, these vary from area to area, you can find a list here.
http://lawworks.org.uk/clinics
If you remain unrepresented you can always take a McKenzie Friend, this can be a colleague or friend provided they have no personal interest in your case. There are also commercial ones who specialise in family law although tread with caution as the industry is not regulated, there are some excellent ones but also some shockers!
Be kind to yourself, this is a stressful process and you need to look after yourself.
Personally I feel what you are asking for is totally reasonable, its better to ask for more contact than you would like as you can be seen to negotiate.
I don't know what your previous arrangement was but if your daughter has lived with her mother until this process, 'residency' will make no difference, it doesn't exist as a term in the orders anymore, they are now Child Arrangement Orders that lay out where a child lives for what time.
Good luck π
Hold your horses, first hearings rarely go well or seem not too in your eyes you're in the system now it's just a matter of time until you get this sorted out just hang in there π
Don't pay too much attention to what the ex is saying or her solicitor it's all just hot air ultimately the courts will push you both to work together for the sake of your child so just keep plodding on and nail the next hearing give mediation a go you may find if that fails the courts will mediate at your next hearing π
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