[Solved] First hearing coming

Hi there

It depends what allegations she has made against you, bear in mind that the courts are cautious, as it is the childs safety at stake. Before agreeing to unsupervised visits they may ask for further reports to be done, such as a section 7 report and if she has accused you of using drugs or alcohol they may want tests done before agreeing any progression of contact.

As she has agreed to supervised contact with her mother and it is proceeding, they may agree to contact continuing in a contact centre if you let them know that you are uncomfortable with the current arrangement.

If you have asked for unsupervised contact to be considered on the C100 form they should make time to consider it at the hearing, but at this stage it's impossible to predict what the outcome might be. There's no harm in asking for it though.

Hi There,
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I agree with Mojo, there is no way of knowing what will happen in court, if she is throwing around mud, the court will have no choice to look into it, however un fair this is, you can understand it from thier view as if they ignored it with out investigation and anything went wrong, they would be questioned over it.
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Hopefully the reports will be done (if needed) and things will move quickly for you.
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GTTS

She has said I'm a drug addict and a alcholic and aggressive. Also I've had her mum hint that they are going to suggest that am threatening to my boy which I think is quite sick frankly.

We never lived with each other throughout the relationship as I could not afford to buy her a house in the area she wanted so she chose to live at her parents with my boy but stayed over my house on occasions.

I've got no convictions no orders out on me nothing. It does keep seeing to be the case that I'm guilty until proven innocent. What grounds can she make me be tested it's degrading. What's a alchol test? I admit I'm guilty of a binge drink on a Saturday night with the boys but I never had to come home to the Mrs if I was out so surley that can't count as being a alcholic.

Will the court take into account my clean record or is it because mum said dad is a monster she gets benefit of the doubt?

To be honest, if you can afford it, I would suggest asking for supervised contact in a contact centre so that someone neutral can supervise and make notes about the contact, take her mother out of the picture.

It's not likely you will get unsupervised if she has made accusations as the court have a duty to investigate allegations to keep children safe, you might be okay but there are parents out there that might not be and the court can't take that chance. Jump through the hoops, bide your time and play the long game.

Alcohol testing can be ordered by the court and you would need to organise this, possibly via your GP.

A night out with your friends is perfectly normal and wouldn't class you as being an alcoholic.

I'd say just carry on as you are try not to rock the boat too much keep playing ball and carry on with the supervised contact as you say it's better than nothing, it will look good to the court that you are getting regular contact even if it is supervised by her mum. Most dads including myself never get to see there child whilst court is going on so you are pretty lucky really, when it does get to court the court will look at it as favourable to carry on with contact with your child as they like to keep a child routine up and like has been said ask for contact in a contact centre and check out the NACCC and see if theres a free contact centre in your area.Once I started court proceedings I was stopped from seeing my girl for 10 months then for 1 hour every 2 weeks for 2 months then 2 hours every 2 weeks for another 2 months then every saturday supervised by her sister and now I have my girl every fri til mon every week as it has been for the past 2 years.

It's probs best that theres no contact with the ex as theres no chance of any more accusations flying about try and stick in there and be patient and you should be ok, youre doing the right thing.

All the best

Slim

Thanks alot again gents. I just got back from my supervised visit at a play centre and it was not a nice experience at all and I was on edge the whole time.

Communication broke down in week and now her mum and my dad are organising the visits. Pathetic I know. My dad text saying is it OK to ask questions about further visits today (no reply) When we arrived my ex brother was with her mum and when my dad said can he ask questions the brother who is a big guy said his harrising her mum when my dad wanting to ask could I take him to see santa the answer no. They have said I can have 2hrs at there house Xmas day. I wonder if I'm invited to dinner lol. Anyway I need to get in a contact centre asap as I'm not enjoying my time with my son as it's such a hostile atmosphere.

Court date set at 16th Jan. Was hoping for it before Xmas but seems like a long journey ahead. Everytime I try commutation about visits letter or text me and my family just get accused of harassment so just got to be patient and keep cool.

Thanks for the support it means a lot.

As hard as it is, you must back off, she can quite easily invoke a harassment order against you and your family, which would make the court case for contact more difficult for you.

Have you thought about writing a letter to her? You could thank her for agreeing to contact and suggest that it might be better for all concerned if you were to use a contact centre, pointing out that communication has been difficult and that no harm was meant by your Dad, who was just trying to make arrangements for future visits. Keep it fairly friendly and non confrontational and express the wish that you can both overcome the present difficulties and work together for the benefit of your son.

If you decide to write make sure you keep a copy for your records.

Here's a link to the Contact centres website, it might be a good idea to include information about centres available in your area with the letter, if you decide to write it.

www.naccc.org.uk

All the best

It is difficult because I've wrote a few nice letters with no reply. I got one letter at the start of the trouble saying that I can have supervised letter with her mum. The trouble I've had is every Wednesday my ex said text to let her no if I can do the sat/sun because my work. I ask son related questions she says I'm harassing her. She gives her mums number so now my dad communicate through her now and the mum pulling the same stunt. How am I suppose to organise visits without some form of communication it's a joke and I can only think they wanted me to slip up hence bringing her brother to intimidate the situation.

I've rang my contact centre yesterday and filling in forms today for self referral. It's says they will speak to my ex but I be surprised if she agrees to this. I'm just gutted my first hearing 9 weeks away.

I'm very reluctant to go there house for Xmas day 2hr visit. I know it's for my son but atmosphere is horrible now and I cant see how a whole family can be so bitter and not try get along but that's how it is. It would be nice if my family could of had some time at my house eg boxing day but as always they give me what they will give non negotiable. I suppose I should be great full that I'm getting something but seeing him nearly everyday to 2hrs a week ain't doing anyone favours.

I'm self representing but I'm seriously considering getting a solitor involved time write the letters so I can't be excused of anything. I spoke to someone who done it all on there own no solitor and he says I be wasting money and he got all what he wanted in a court order. I think I'm in it for long haul now as I can't trust my ex to negotiate fairly. Thanks

I don't blame you for being reluctant about Christmas Day, children can pick up on bad atmospheres and others anxiety. You can get a solicitor to write a letter as a one off, if you feel it will have more impact. You can ask them to ask for 2 hours away from the maternal home on Christmas Day so that presents can be shared and he can spend a little time with his paternal family, who he is also close to....offer for your Dad to supervise the contact and for it to be at his house. Get the solicitor to point out that keeping any ill feeling from your child is important for his well being and allowing this visit would go along way to showing that she is putting him first, just because it is being dealt with by the court doesn't mean that you can start working together in his best interests.

Best of luck